under total, negative stereotypes, not sure what to do?

[WellWhatever729]

Ok everyone, my house has kind of a dilemma.

On our campus, we're known as the "fat sorority." I never even knew this until a significant time after I was initiated, not that it would have mattered - I couldn't imagine myself anywhere else! The problem we have is that weve noticed in the past few years that its getting more difficult to get girls to accept their bids andctually going through initiation and enjoying their time in our house becausethey don't want to be a member of the "fat sorority." Because of this (and a few past internal problems that have since been resolved), we are now left under campus total - and we're having trouble getting girls in the door for COR events.

I guess what I'm asking is, how can we get rid of the "stereotypes" and awesome women in our door? I really love my house and its done so much for me, I really want us to have the best women for our house but being under campus total is such a huge issue at the moment that we're kind of at a loss as to where to go from here.

Sorry if this is worded oddly, I'm not that great with words. Any advice would be appreciated!

Eta: very few girls on our campus even want to go through recruitment, so that's another issue.

[DubaiSis]

The only thing you can do is be well enough known that everyone else can move on from it. Participate in everything, (sadly, especially the prettiest girls need to be the most visible), make sure all members look good all the time. The "pretty house" can show up at class with mattress head, but you can't. Continue to be selective in your membership - don't get desperate!

And take heart! It sounds like you are at a small Greek campus. That means your efforts can pay off more quickly than in a system where each chapter has 150+ members. Talk about this among your sisters and gain consensus on what they all think should be done.

[HQWest]

DubaiSis had some excellent points. Being visible and friendly is the best way to combat this. Encourage girls to wear their letters and represent everywhere. Everyone should have letters on their car, on their backpack, on their sweatshirt, etc. Have somebody show up to participate in every philanthropy event - they don't have to win, just show up, be supportive, and smile!

You might make a game of it? One chapter I advised had a "secret sister" for the week. On one day chosen at random, if she bumped into you and you were wearing your letters (and representing), you got a sticker or a lollipop or house points or something.

Another way to combat this is with attitude. Save gossip or complaints for the chapter or behind closed doors. If a PNM sees you complaining all the time, why would she ever want to join? Cultivate the girls that just aren't sure about sorority life, invite them to a movie night or to be on the softball team. (i.e. - you can have a ringer for softball and be slowing recruiting at the same time....)

[summer_gphib]

This is probably not going to be a popular response, but have you all thought about starting a health and wellness program? If many of your members are truly overweight, do something about it. Do some aerobic classes together and make them fun! Even more important than your stereotype would be the general wellness of the group. Do intramurals, and other activities. Encourage healthy eating. Make it FUN (not the stupid image of fat circling) and do it for the right reasons-- to be healthy!

[DubaiSis]

I don't think this is a bad response at all. We all know (looking in the mirror especially) that there is a pervasive weight problem around the world. I know back in my day, we were served a lot of beige food in the house. Non-beige food is definitely more expensive but much healthier! Try to instill good life habits now - regular exercise and healthy diet.

HOWEVER, this doesn't mean you go on a rampage and start blaming your sisters for not being pretty enough. Be supportive, try to add some positive behaviors into your activities, and make the most of positive change for the ENTIRE chapter.

[PizzaLove]

My chapter went through the exact same thing, so trust me, you can get through it. To second what has already been said, you and your sisters need to make sure you are putting forth the best presentation possible on campus. This doesn't mean you should downplay any members who don't fit a certain image. This means everyone in your chapter should make sure she is looking her personal best and wearing letters everyday. I mean hair and make-up done, and flattering outfits for whatever her body type. I'm guessing that since you didn't even know that your group had the stereotype of being "fat," it probably isn't even anywhere near accurate. Getting your members out there will show everyone what your image truly is. The most important thing is to show confidence always. If you are worried about people's perceptions of your letters and your sorority then do not let it show! People are attracted to confidence and they need to see that you have a real sisterhood with values that do not depend on how skinny you are. You and your sisters need to put in a lot of hard work by participating in campus events and being seen having fun (in a classy way of course). I know what you are going through, and I hate that so much emphasis is placed on appearance in our society. I know and understand that to keep a chapter going, you do have to focus on image to some extent, but remember that your experience is defined by the quality of the people you are with. 20 years from now, is it going to be important to tell people that you had really hot sisters in college, or is it going to be important to introduce them to the best friends from your chapter who are still a huge part of your life? Showing everyone on campus that you take pride in your organization is the key. Whether your members fit the "ideal" image or not, most pnms want to know that they will have a meaningful experience. So focus on proving that a meaningful experience will be gained through your membership. Please feel free to PM me if you have any questions or want to chat!

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Originally Posted by summer_gphib

This is probably not going to be a popular response, but have you all thought about starting a health and wellness program? If many of your members are truly overweight, do something about it. Do some aerobic classes together and make them fun! Even more important than your stereotype would be the general wellness of the group. Do intramurals, and other activities. Encourage healthy eating. Make it FUN (not the stupid image of fat circling) and do it for the right reasons-- to be healthy!

I doubt many of the members are truly overweight. Having 5 fat women in a chapter of 100 is enough to get the reputation.

[HQWest]

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby

I doubt many of the members are truly overweight. Having 5 fat women in a chapter of 100 is enough to get the reputation.

That kind of reputation doesn't really have anything to do with girls who are overweight and more to do with a campus with a sick Greek system. Think "Mean Girls." Someone out there started this. Why? To reinforce their own position, to make themselves feel superior? That was the best they could come up with.

Don't play their game. The smallest chapter can fall victim to this and girls start blaming each other. Who died and made them the cool girls? Be the nicest or the smartest or the sweetest girls out there, and no one will believe them when they talk smack.

[WellWhatever729]

Thank you all so much for your answers!

HQWest and DubaiSis, all of your advice is awesome! We do try and be as visible as possible, but often it seems like the same girls doing everything all the time, which can get frustrating! The women we do have are incredibly passionate about our chapter, though, which is so awesome. I think as a whole we need to work more on being visible, rather than the same few girls doing everything, so thank you for reminding me of this!

summer_gphib - I don't think it's a bad suggestion at all! As another poster suggested, we are actually the smallest chapter on campus, so I feel like a lot of people like to 'pick' on us. We have maybe 2 or 3 girls that would qualify as 'overweight', the rest around the "average" or "normal" range - I do like the idea of implementing some kind of sisterhood exercise program though! Every girl could probably stand to be a little more in shape, and I am certainly no exception!

PizzaLove - thank you so much! It's really nice to hear other chapters have been through the same thing - even though you know it, it's still nice to be told it, you know? I'm sure we'll get through it, it's just really frustrating because it seems like we're doing everything we're "supposed" to be doing, and it's not making any difference!

I think a lot of our problem is that we're just trying to do the same things year after year, when we need to switch it up a bit! I'll definitely be doing some searching on here for COB event ideas, as well as keep checking back to see if there are any new ideas! Thank you all so much!

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby

I doubt many of the members are truly overweight. Having 5 fat women in a chapter of 100 is enough to get the reputation.

This is what I tend to notice in chapters who have the "fat" reputation. Pretty much EVERYTHING in sorority stereotyping is an exaggeration.

It's never like XYZ has 50 women and 40 of them are the same size as Mimi from the Drew Carey show.

It's like XYZ has 50 women and 40 of them = size 6 or 8. Then 10 them are like a size 10-12 tops (or something bigger than the average-ish 6 or 8.)

Ergo, XYZ is "fat."

It's really funny, actually. Because the way people talk about the "fat" sorority, you'd think every single girl in the chapter was a burger away from a gastric bypass. It's all exaggerated.

Just like (example) out of 50 women, ONE girl in ABC drives a silver Lexus and has a Birkin bag. And you always see that one ABC in her new range rover that was a graduation present and you saw her being rude to the Starbucks guy one day before class. Ergo ABC is now the rich, snobby bitch sorority.

[DGTess]

It saddens me sometimes to see women whose sense of self-worth is set by what others think, but I recognize it happens.

In addition to suggestions you've been given, I'd encourage you to reach out to those for whom the "ideal" isn't 150 picture-perfect women. Many women may be avoiding rush, or greek life in general, because they see the group rather than the individuals. If your sisters relish their individuality, don't try to hide it.


And please don't push your sisters to an exercise routine. Making it available is wonderful; making it required takes all the motivation out of it.

Why do you feel the need to be at total? Is it pressure from a headquarters? Filling a house? Other financial concerns? It may or may not make a difference, but you have to understand the motivators among yourselves before you can change things.

[WCsweet<3]

Originally Posted by DGTess

It saddens me sometimes to see women whose sense of self-worth is set by what others think, but I recognize it happens.

In addition to suggestions you've been given, I'd encourage you to reach out to those for whom the "ideal" isn't 150 picture-perfect women. Many women may be avoiding rush, or greek life in general, because they see the group rather than the individuals. If your sisters relish their individuality, don't try to hide it.

Why do you feel the need to be at total? Is it pressure from a headquarters? Filling a house? Other financial concerns? It may or may not make a difference, but you have to understand the motivators among yourselves before you can change things.

All of the bolded.

Originally Posted by WellWhatever729

Because of this (and a few past internal problems that have since been resolved), we are now left under campus total - and we're having trouble getting girls in the door for COR events.

I guess what I'm asking is, how can we get rid of the "stereotypes" and awesome women in our door?

Noticing the issue of getting members, I realize that some women who go through recruitment tend to be a certain type. Most have an idea of a sorority and if the real thing doesn't match, they won't stay.

My chapter was one of the smaller chapters on campus, but the members who recruited me turned those "bad" characteristics into advantages.
You are smaller? Better sisterhood, easier to get to know the sisters, closer bonds, whatever.

If PNMs bring up bad reputations turn it into something good! There is a plus to every negative.

We didn't have a bad reputation per say, but just didn't have much of one. So my chapter had mandatory letters day. Letters meaning the stitched bold letters on T-shirts or sweatshirts. We also required girls to look polished (hair touched by some tool or product used no matter how straight/curly/whatever your hair was) and some make up. Not every woman wears make up, but you couldn't look like you had just rolled out of bed. The sisters who didn't wear make up usually put on some mascara and a little concealer, maybe lip gloss. This got our letters out there and had us look amazing. We were really noticed, especially when there were multiples of us in class or walking together.

[33girl]

Also, in the words of Wayne: YOU'RE WORTHY! Go out to different fraternities besides the old reliables. Of-age sisters, be visible at the popular nightclubs or bars. Participate in campus activities - including those that are bordering on beauty contests. Fat used as a stereotype often doesn't truly mean "fat" but rather "dumpy, shy and boring." Get out of your comfort zones and take risks. It makes ALL the difference in the world.

You mentioned the same girls doing everything all the time. If you have dead weight in your chapter, CUT IT. If girls aren't showing up for sisterhood events, meetings, or mixers, bring them in front of standards board and tell them they either need to show up or get out. If it's not that, but just girls who are shy and need a push - push them. Again, get out of that comfort zone.

If the school is having a problem getting girls to rush in general, probably what is happening is that most of the girls rushing ARE the stereotypical type. You need to reach out to other girls through COB and through meeting them in other activities. Once you have the members, ask your HQ for help in conducting formal rush (as in sending another chapter to help you practice). Too many groups get their numbers up through COB, then don't know how to formal rush, suck at formal rush, confidence plummets, and have to scramble and COB again. You need to be skilled at BOTH types of rush to succeed.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by 33girl

You mentioned the same girls doing everything all the time. If you have dead weight in your chapter, CUT IT.

YES. Times a million.

Chapters are always SO afraid to hold girls accountable for not participating.

DO IT.

When they joined, they agreed to do ______ with the cosequence of {insert your orgs consequence here: standards/honor council/whatever} if they didn't.

Hold them to that.

Chapters always say "but if we do that, we'll be even smaller!"

Here's the thing though, the dead weight isn't SHOWING UP ANYWAY. So that extra number isn't even benefitting you guys. Cut them out and replace them with someone who will be a number AND show up.

[FSUZeta]

do you all require your members to join at least one other org. on campus? that's a great way to show others how great you all are, and an easy way to meet pnms.