A Question for NPHC Ladies

[roses1992]

I went through recruitment as a sophomore so I met many people both Greek and non-Greek last year and for the most part most have been very supportive of my decision though a bit confused. However, another baby in my pledge class told me that she had an older lady berate her for her decision to join a sorority that was not a part of the Divine Nine. I also had some explaining to do to my slightly disappointed aunt who was a member of one of the NPHC sororities at my school. Is it considered a insult to a NPHC organization when a African American girl joins historically white sorority even though it was a personal decision? I absolutely love my new house and am very happy here. I would think that most people would show some support especially if if we come out to their events and probates to support them.

[KSUViolet06]

I'm asking ths in the nicest way possible: If you are happy, why is it that you care whether your membership "insults" someone else?

[roses1992]

I want to go to the events like I did last year, but if I'm going to be disrespected it almost makes me less interested in going and showing support. I'm interested in the input from the sorority women because I have already gone to a few fraternity events and they were very welcoming and offered their congratulations. I can handle rude comments or looks, but as most of the girls in my class are freshman I would hate for them to see a negative image of these amazing organizations just because they aren't as welcomed by certain individuals.

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Originally Posted by roses1992

I want to go to the events like I did last year, but if I'm going to be disrespected it almost makes me less interested in going and showing support. I'm interested in the input from the sorority women because I have already gone to a few fraternity events and they were very welcoming and offered their congratulations. I can handle rude comments or looks, but as most of the girls in my class are freshman I would hate for them to see a negative image of these amazing organizations just because they aren't as welcomed by certain individuals.

Have you received rude comments or looks?

[AZTheta]

Hello roses1992,

You brought a concern that another new member had here to GC, and reported that you had a discussion with a family member over your personal choice to join an NPC sorority rather than an NPHC sorority. Well...

Part of becoming an adult is making decisions and standing by those decisions (or not, if you decide that you made a bad decision!). You get to own your own behavior. This is Adult 101, first lesson. I don't see any insults to anyone in the situation as you've described it. The trouble comes when you expect other people to think/do/say/feel a certain way. That's the road to sheer madness.

I count myself fortunate to have friends in all GLOs, including the Divine Nine, and they are most welcoming when I attend their events or support their philanthropies. If you are not comfortable with other GLO events, then simply stay away until the time comes when you feel comfortable enough to respond to others in a way that reflects positively on your organization and yourself.

side note: Theta does not have "babies"; I'm searching for the recent reference that addresses this. You are a new member, not a baby anything! Every time I hear Baby Theta I think of Baby Beluga or Baby Huey. It is just wrong, and Bettie Locke Hamilton is rolling in her grave.

ETA: why is this in the recruitment forum?

[roses1992]

After I posted it I noticed it was in the recruitment section! My mistake. I have received looks but that could be completely unrelated, or not, who knows. I think its absurd since its a private decision but I was still curious. I will still be attending events because I enjoyed them and I thought they were a lot of fun. Getting a "look" won't make me reconsider my decision. I was just wondering if anyone could explain a valid reason why it may be taken personally. But I imagine its an individual thing and there may never be one definite reason.

[IrishLake]

The chapter I advise calls them Theta Babies too, drives me batty....

[IL Anchor Girl]

I've seen "babies" in use at my alma mater (Gamma Phi and Theta come to mind, but there may be more) in the last year or two, but not in my day...

[rhoyaltempest]

People are people no matter the group (and some women/girls can just be catty in general) and everyone has an opinion as I'm sure you know. Some people will be presumptious about why they think you may have chosen your organization (like perhaps you are running from your heritage and are not proud...this is just a possible idea, not my thoughts) but it's really not much different from non-Greeks who have preconceived ideas about the NPHC orgs and members. The NPHC has its share of haters and Greek life in general has its share. It happens all the time and we handle it. Most of us know how to respond because we are proud of our organizations and what they stand for. You shouldn't have to get into a lengthy discussion if you don't want to but defending your choices when it comes to Greek life is something that all Greeks can relate to. That just comes with the territory. If someone asks you about your org, don't get upset (you're not special in this way, we all get asked questions), give them a short and sweet answer that's educated and shows that you're proud of your org and the decision that you made, and keep it moving. It also helps if you don't talk negatively about other orgs no matter what individuals have said or done. Remember that you don't need to put other orgs down to lift yours up. Have fun, don't assume that everyone has an issue, and don't worry about what others think.

[DubaiSis]

great answer rhoyaltempest. I didn't want to butt in since I'm not an NPHCer, but I think you're right. I've had to defend my membership against the stereotype of being a bunch of snooty bitches, so I can imagine the "why aren't you a proud black woman" complaint, while more personal than what I've had to defend against, is still just a fight against ignorance.

I do see this as a great opportunity for roses to build even the smallest bridge between NPC and NPHC on her campus, if only by bringing a couple of her sisters to an NPHC event in support of what they do. I always thought it was a shame that I didn't know a single NPHCer while I was in college when they seemed to be a strong successful group of sororities who were quite visible on campus.

[DSTRen13]

Originally Posted by rhoyaltempest

If someone asks you about your org, don't get upset (you're not special in this way, we all get asked questions), give them a short and sweet answer that's educated and shows that you're proud of your org and the decision that you made, and keep it moving. It also helps if you don't talk negatively about other orgs no matter what individuals have said or done. Remember that you don't need to put other orgs down to lift yours up. Have fun, don't assume that everyone has an issue, and don't worry about what others think.

This! Perfect answer.

[Munchkin03]

I know it's easy to worry about what others think when you're young, especially when those people who might possibly berate your choice are family members and other people you might look up to. I also know it's hard to just shrug those criticisms off at first. As you get older, you'll get more accustomed to it.

That said, yes...some people are going to criticize your decision. I experienced it right here on this site, and a little bit in real life. It ended up, however, being a far less controversial thing than I could have imagined (in fact, there was a bigger uproar over a family member choosing a "less desired" D9 group, my joining an NPC sorority the same semester was overlooked!). The long and the short of it is that you made the best decision for you, and there's no need to apologize for it.

Good luck!