When "Getting Pinned" Meant You Were Getting Married

[LaneSig]

http://www.washingtonian.com/blogart...ent/20581.html

This is a great article. The author talks about giving his girlfriend his fraternity pin back in the 50s. Everyone automatically assumed it meant they were getting married - and they did! Wish he had said which fraternity.

Kind of reminds me of the "Happy Days" episode when Potsie pinned his girlfriend.

[honeychile]

Wow! I was pinned, but that meant "engaged to be engaged" - certainly not married!!

[ThetaPrincess24]

My dad pinned my mom (an independent) and she had it made into a ring. My dad gave her his pin because he could not afford an engagement ring at the time. My mom wore the pin ring with her wedding ring until the divorce.

[Low C Sharp]

Well, the author went to the University of Colorado, and at a time when Jewish men almost exclusively pledged Jewish fraternities. Does someone have a Baird's from 1949-53 and could see what Jewish houses were at CU at that time? If there was only one, that's probably the answer.

[AOEforme]

Originally Posted by honeychile

Wow! I was pinned, but that meant "engaged to be engaged" - certainly not married!!

That's how it was when I got pinned, too (only four years ago). To us, the lavaliere meant "serious boyfriend/girlfriend", while the pin was "soon to be engaged".

My closest sorority sister and I both got pinned the same day and we got engaged within six months of each other.

Our sorority has a ritual that goes with the pinning and we got to do it together which was wonderful.

------------
That article is amazing though. I do wish he had said which organization.

[KSUViolet06]

People didn't get pinned on my campus really. Lavaliering was the big thing. The only issue is that it had varying levels of seriousness depending on the fraternity/guy. The vast majority of guys didn't think of it like "lavaliering this girl = we are very serious." There were guys on my campus who had lavaliered 3 or 4 girls by graduation.

There was a joke on my campus re: lavaliering that Murphy's Law of Lavaliering = you'll break up within a year.

There were a few girls who ended up marrying the guy who lavaliered them, and oddly enough they were all from the same fraternity.

[kchaptergphib]

Originally Posted by Low C Sharp

Well, the author went to the University of Colorado, and at a time when Jewish men almost exclusively pledged Jewish fraternities. Does someone have a Baird's from 1949-53 and could see what Jewish houses were at CU at that time? If there was only one, that's probably the answer.

Well, looking at my Baird's, perhaps we can assume Zeta Beta Tau?

It says ZBT has been on campus since 1919, Sigma Alpha Mu was there, but not until 1953-1960, and Alpha Epsilon Pi didn't charter until 1977. Any other historically Jewish fraternities I should be looking for (that's assuming he was in a historically Jewish fraternity, of course)?

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Originally Posted by kchaptergphib

Well, looking at my Baird's, perhaps we can assume Zeta Beta Tau?

It says ZBT has been on campus since 1919, Sigma Alpha Mu was there, but not until 1953-1960, and Alpha Epsilon Pi didn't charter until 1977. Any other historically Jewish fraternities I should be looking for (that's assuming he was in a historically Jewish fraternity, of course)?

There are like three or four more that were later absorbed by others. I don't know which are at CU, though.

[AnchorAlum]

Getting pinned was still a sign in the late 60's that you and your significant other had an "understanding" that you'd get married after college.

I never got pinned, since my SO was a football player and although he was a Sigma Chi, by the time we were seniors he was completely over that whole thing. Heck, I never even wore his letter sweater. LOL

Would NOT have gone well with my hippie garb.

[dekeguy]

My Dad tells me that Pinning was a very serious undertaking in his day. It was viewed as effectively being engaged and normally signaled that marriage was to be either shortly after graduation or upon return from military duty.
That was back in the days of the draft and the Viet Nam war.
Lavaliering was about the same level of committment as giving your high school ring. Not really seen as permanent with a definite path to formal engagement.
In my experience it seems to vary widely from house to house. Some fraternities seem now to view pinning on the level of 'going steady' in high school. Other houses still tend to see it as a major committment of intent. All in all it seems to be less monumental than a generation ago but at least with some fraternities it is still a pretty major undertaking.

[honeychile]

^^ Pinning was still popular on our campus until the mid-80's, I think.


Pi Lambda Phi!!

It was non-sectarian, but on our campus, it was mostly Jewish men. According to the latest Greek Life pages, though, it's no longer around. A lot of fraternities closed when the men's Greek Village opened.

[Sadfly]

Gosh, I remember Moon Doggie pinning Gidget!

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by dekeguy

My Dad tells me that Pinning was a very serious undertaking in his day. It was viewed as effectively being engaged and normally signaled that marriage was to be either shortly after graduation or upon return from military duty.

Yep. My dad gave his badge to my mother, though I guess it technically wasn't a "pinning" because they were already married (or engaged). He had left college to go to war in WWII. They got married when he came back and when she finished college, and he went back to school on the GI bill. I'm not sure whether he pledged Kappa Sigma before or after they were married, but I think it was after. If not, they were already engaged. I need to check those dates.

In any event, I remember asking him when I was in college if I could see his badge. He said, "You'll have to ask your mother; I gave it to her." And when I asked her, she went straight to it.

Meanwhile, I've shared elsewhere the story of the badge my great-grandfather gave my great-grandmother.

[pearlbubbles]

Originally Posted by Low C Sharp

Well, the author went to the University of Colorado, and at a time when Jewish men almost exclusively pledged Jewish fraternities. Does someone have a Baird's from 1949-53 and could see what Jewish houses were at CU at that time? If there was only one, that's probably the answer.

I know someone else looked this up earlier up-thread, but I do know that ZBT has been at CU the longest as far as historically Jewish fraternities go, so I would feel pretty confident in suggesting that one.

Sammy chartered (and closed) much more recently and AEPi charted much closer to the eighties.

[IrishLake]

MC, I've never read that. Thank you for the link!