Your Cheatin' Heart???

KarenC725 · #1 06-07-2002, 08:48 AM

Hypothetically, say you were married. Say you guys separated (not legally, just moved out). Say you were all upset and blaming yourself while making your husband a saint. Your husband is telling everyone who will listen how this is your fault. Now, if someone had info that 2 weeks after you moved out he was with another girl (place not yet named but it was a store called "Lovers Lane") would you want to know? You two had not filed any paperwork, signed anything, nothing. Your husband changed the locks on the house as well.

I'm also interested in people's opinions about whether the situation would be different (to tell/not to tell) if the couple were just dating or engaged.

Hootie · #2 06-07-2002, 10:40 AM

There's obviously something going on if he went as far as to change the locks! That just screams "I don't want to get caught" and "I'm keeping you out for a reason".
I can't help but think the worse, but if it's just a seperation and this is going on, evidently the guy wants to move on and not make things work...but that's just my opinion.

Hootie

PM_Mama00 · #3 06-07-2002, 11:51 AM

Karen, funny you should mention this. My friend from high school's parents are going thru something like this. They're separated, she moved out into my other friend's house (I worked with her), she's dating some guy. The husband starts dating a new girl. Husband and wife are still talking and still go to dinner and hang out. Wife is insanely, crazy jealous and calls girlfriend to tell her that her husband still loves her. I'm hoping we're not talkin about the same situation cuz u know how small Downriver is.

Now, not proudly, but I have been the other girl, and most of the time not knowingly. Usually the girlfriend is just temporary, and the husband and wife get back together. Sometimes, but rarely, it works out between the girlfriend and husband.

I see marriage differently. You have a legal bond. Engagement is the same, without the bond. This exact story happened to my friend. Needless to say, they got back together.

Dating... you can't really do anything about except be raging pissed off. This also gives u free reign to totally get revenge on the asshole and this girl.

KarenC725 · #4 06-07-2002, 12:14 PM

This couple isn't in Downriver so thankfully we aren't talking about the same people

My personal feeling is that she needed to know (not that I wanted to be the one to tell her but still). She had suspicions, but nothing concrete. He's been trying to guilt trip her into thinking that she was "bad" and "in the wrong" all the while still trying to get her into bed! One week Tuesday he's like that, Wednesday changes the locks, Friday is with this new girl. I think he's just upset that he got caught.

All the "Don't tell" crap that went around is just that, crap. If no one was supposed to know, then no one would have said anything. Could you imagine if she went into this blindly?

Kevin · #5 06-07-2002, 12:32 PM

She REALLY needs to get a lawyer. From the sound of it, he probably already has one. If nothing else it's a very smart precaution to take considering what is right up the road from this point.

One sign that a marriage wasn't made to last is when one of the couple change the locks.

LexiKD · #6 06-08-2002, 03:29 PM

If it were me and I wanted to work it out and stay married I don't think I would want to know...just me...

James · #7 06-08-2002, 10:03 PM

I agree with LExiKD. If I were trying to work it out I don't need to know about a fling. Obviously if it were more than a fling, we wouldn't end up working things out . .

I am not sure i would be real happy with someone who told me either.

KarenC725 · #8 06-10-2002, 08:08 AM

Well, there is NO hope of them working this out. She wanted to from the beginning but after this, no. He doesn't understand why they can't be friends either. It's really sad, their two year anniversary would have been this month.

Thankfully she is ok with my friend and me. She was worried that we wouldn't tell her if something happened and is very grateful that she knows and that it came from us.

AOX81 · #9 06-10-2002, 09:36 AM

Hell yes I would want to know! If any close friends of mine were in this this situation I would rather inform them about it now then wait until later. If one of my friends found out that I knew something was going on with their S.O. they would kick my ass if they found out that I hadn't told them.