AL Teen Missing in Aruba

[Alumiyum]

Originally Posted by honeychile

Out of curiosity, I googled both Natalle & JoBenet. Natalee was born in 1986, and probably would have graduated from college this past year. JonBenet was born in 1990, and would possibly be in college by now. It's so strange how the mind works, itsn't it?

Natalee graduated high school in May 2005, and would have graduated last May if she had finished in 4 years...probably with good grades, honors, Greek, lots of friends, etc. She was really nice and really smart. It's a huge waste.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by Alumiyum

Natalee graduated high school in May 2005, and would have graduated last May if she had finished in 4 years...probably with good grades, honors, Greek, lots of friends, etc. She was really nice and really smart. It's a huge waste.

Or she could've gotten pregnant her first semester of college, flunked out, never received a sorority bid, and been considered a social outcast. Who knows and it happens to "the best of them." It's a huge waste because a life was taken, not because she was "really nice and really smart."

I really feel sorry for what happened to this young lady but I really find people's reactions to be interesting. If she had not been a "really nice and really smart" white girl who people thought was pretty, mainstream America wouldn't care so much. They certainly wouldn't be talking about it so much almost 6 years later. Her family would've been struggling to get law enforcement attention, media attention, let alone a Lifetime movie.

I am saying this as someone with experience in victimology. I am responding to what Alumiyum typed and not Alumiyum's tone or what she intended.

[Alumiyum]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

Or she could've gotten pregnant her first semester of college, flunked out, never received a sorority bid, and been considered a social outcast. Who knows and it happens to "the best of them." It's a huge waste because a life was taken, not because she was "really nice and really smart."

I really feel sorry for what happened to this young lady but I really find people's reactions to be interesting. If she had not been a "really nice and really smart" white girl who people thought was pretty, mainstream America wouldn't care so much. They certainly wouldn't be talking about it so much almost 6 years later. Her family would've been struggling to get law enforcement attention, media attention, let alone a Lifetime movie.

I am saying this as someone with experience in victimology. I am responding to what Alumiyum typed and not Alumiyum's tone or what she intended.

I graduated high school with Natalee. I didn't know her well, but obviously I am interested in following this case because I remember her. She was a sweet girl, and not everyone is so good natured and friendly in high school. I can say my personal interest/connection is not related to how she looked, what color she was, or what her grades were. If she had been obnoxious, mean, etc. maybe I wouldn't be as sympathetic or still care after almost 6 years, I don't know. If I hadn't known her at all, I probably wouldn't still follow the case. But I did, and it does matter to me that she gets remembered as being a nice person, simply because she was.

To me, it is a waste that Joran is alive and well, even if he is in jail, and she is not. Especially considering that he not only ruined Natalee's and Stephany Flores's family, but his own. I feel really sorry for his mother and brother.

ETA: I'm sure the fact that she was cute, blond, white, smart, nice, etc. helped her get the media coverage she did. We see that same pattern in the news all the time. The fact that she disappeared in a tropical location on a trip to celebrate high school graduation after achieving above a 4.0 makes a sellable story. But her family did make enormous efforts to make sure she wasn't forgotten before the story blew up.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by Alumiyum

ETA: I'm sure the fact that she was cute, blond, white, smart, nice, etc. helped her get the media coverage she did. We see that same pattern in the news all the time. The fact that she disappeared in a tropical location on a trip to celebrate high school graduation after achieving above a 4.0 makes a sellable story.

Yes.

For every one person who went to school with her and kinda knew her, there are 20 people who say the same thing that you said but didn't know her.

Originally Posted by Alumiyum

But her family did make enormous efforts to make sure she wasn't forgotten before the story blew up.

And like you said the sellable story doesn't hurt.

[Munchkin03]

Originally Posted by Alumiyum

The fact that she disappeared in a tropical location on a trip to celebrate high school graduation after achieving above a 4.0 makes a sellable story. But her family did make enormous efforts to make sure she wasn't forgotten before the story blew up.

OT, but is graduating with above a 4.0 that big a deal, especially when so many districts have weighted almost every single class?

Many families who have had children go missing make enormous efforts to make sure the missing child isn't forgotten. It's just much easier to stay in the spotlight when you're affluent and white.

[Alumiyum]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

Yes.

For every one person who went to school with her and kinda knew her, there are 20 people who say the same thing that you said but didn't know her.



And like you said the sellable story doesn't hurt.

Sorry, I don't see why that effects the reasoning I have for caring. She was uncommonly nice and pretty selfless for a teenager. (Not that I went to high school with a bunch of assholes, but they were generally about as self centered as I was, and I simply remember that she was nicer to others than the majority of us were). Of course, I also knew and know some of the people who were most effected by all of this (her friends, not her family) and I can't imagine how it was to watch the news for information and see the things that they did on CNN, Nancy Grace, etc. Which is another reason I still follow the case.

There's nothing wrong with following a story because you identify with the family, are sympathetic to the victim, etc. A lot of people follow the case because she reminds them of their own daughter, or they were in a similar situation and made it out alive, or just because she seems like someone they could be friends with, things like that. It's why the story is sellable, but it doesn't mean she doesn't deserve the sympathy (or that her family/friends don't).

[KSig RC]

Originally Posted by Alumiyum

ETA: I'm sure the fact that she was cute, blond, white, smart, nice, etc. helped her get the media coverage she did.

It seems rather instructive that this thread somehow turned to JonBenet Ramsey - a case that couldn't be any less related, on a purely factual basis.

[Alumiyum]

Originally Posted by Munchkin03

OT, but is graduating with above a 4.0 that big a deal, especially when so many districts have weighted almost every single class?

Many families who have had children go missing make enormous efforts to make sure the missing child isn't forgotten. It's just much easier to stay in the spotlight when you're affluent and white.

It is at MBHS, and it means she loaded her schedule with APs. It's a public school, but it IS a difficult school. I know she was in the NHS and the math honor society, and a couple of others. Basically, yes, she was a very hard worker, and her academic achievements were something to be proud of.

I've heard this many times over the years, and my response is, this isn't a fair world, and yes being white and pretty helped her stay in the news. It's naive to think it didn't. But that doesn't mean she didn't deserve the attention/sympathy/work her family did to find her.

PS-The movie is on Lifetime.

[Munchkin03]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

Is Natalee an only child?

No, she isn't. I believe she has a brother, and I'm not sure if her father remarried and had other children after her parents divorced.

I remember reading somewhere that her mom and JonBenet's dad were dating. Not sure how true that is, though.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by Alumiyum

Sorry, I don't see why that effects the reasoning I have for caring. She was uncommonly nice and pretty selfless for a teenager. (Not that I went to high school with a bunch of assholes, but they were generally about as self centered as I was, and I simply remember that she was nicer to others than the majority of us were). Of course, I also knew and know some of the people who were most effected by all of this (her friends, not her family) and I can't imagine how it was to watch the news for information and see the things that they did on CNN, Nancy Grace, etc. Which is another reason I still follow the case.

There's nothing wrong with following a story because you identify with the family, are sympathetic to the victim, etc. A lot of people follow the case because she reminds them of their own daughter, or they were in a similar situation and made it out alive, or just because she seems like someone they could be friends with, things like that. It's why the story is sellable, but it doesn't mean she doesn't deserve the sympathy (or that her family/friends don't).

I don't know what your post has to do with mine. You think I am typing specifically to and about you. I am talking about victimology and simply used your post as a foundation.

Did anyone say she doesn't deserve the sympathy? Do you know what victimology is?

[Alumiyum]

Originally Posted by Munchkin03

No, she isn't. I believe she has a brother, and I'm not sure if her father remarried and had other children after her parents divorced.

I remember reading somewhere that her mom and JonBenet's dad were dating. Not sure how true that is, though.

She has a brother Matt, IIRC, he's 3 grades behind her, so I guess three years. Her father has young daughters.

I read that a long time ago, but I don't think it's true anymore. I'm pretty sure one of them confirmed they were seeing each other for a while though.

ETA: I forgot her step dad (now divorced) has two children. One is a girl and is much older, and the boy was I think two years ahead of our grade.

[Alumiyum]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

I don't know what your post has to do with mine. You think I am typing specifically to and about you. I am talking about victimology and simply used your post as a foundation.

Did anyone say she doesn't deserve the sympathy? Do you know what victimology is?

. Heaven forbid I thought that from your response in which you quoted my post. Yes, I understand what victimology is. Obviously, that is not the objective lens through which I see this story.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by Alumiyum

. Heaven forbid I thought that from your response in which you quoted my post.

You now understand that you don't have to keep explaining how you know her and why you feel a certain way about the topic. What you said about Holloway isn't exclusive to you, hence my initial post in which I used your post as a foundation for a general statement on people's reactions.

Originally Posted by Alumiyum

Obviously, that is not the objective lens through which I see this story.

You don't see this story through an objective lens.

[Alumiyum]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

You now understand that you don't have to keep explaining how you know her and why you feel a certain way about the topic. What you said about Holloway isn't exclusive to you, hence my initial post in which I used your post as a foundation for a general statement on people's reactions.



You don't see this story through an objective lens.

You do realize that you don't have the final say on what people post, yes?

Correct. It is obvious that I do not, and therefore am not looking at this in connection to victimology.

[Munchkin03]

Originally Posted by Alumiyum

It is at MBHS, and it means she loaded her schedule with APs. It's a public school, but it IS a difficult school. I know she was in the NHS and the math honor society, and a couple of others. Basically, yes, she was a very hard worker, and her academic achievements were something to be proud of.

But that doesn't mean she didn't deserve the attention/sympathy/work her family did to find her.

I'm quite familiar with the concept of weighted GPAs and what you have to do to get them, LOL. I went to an extremely competitive public HS where it was completely possible to get a 5.0, so if you had a 4.1 or even a 4.5, it was no big thing. I graduated with a 4.5 and I probably was in the top 10% of the class, not in the top 1% or even 3%. We didn't have grade inflation, everyone took AP and IB classes, even as freshmen.

Everyone who goes missing deserves the attention/sympathy/work their families and communities do to find them.