Would you get married quickly if you had no doubts?

[Munchkin03]

Originally Posted by MysticCat

That's true. But just because you would wait longer doesn't mean others are obliged to.

My thing is that the OP's question is one without a single right answer, and it's kinda stupid to think otherwise. Everyone's mileage will vary. The corollary of not caring what other people do until it has an impact on me is not caring what other people think about what I'm doing if I'm doing what works for me and my significant other.

You're absolutely right. It's totally based on the individual couple. While I would be disarmed by my 18 year old cousin getting married to someone he knew after 6 months, my 36 year old sister getting married after less than a year of knowing someone is less bothersome. As you get older and know what you want out of life, it's easier to make that decision after less time.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by Munchkin03

You're absolutely right. It's totally based on the individual couple. While I would be disarmed by my 18 year old cousin getting married to someone he knew after 6 months, my 36 year old sister getting married after less than a year of knowing someone is less bothersome. As you get older and know what you want out of life, it's easier to make that decision after less time.

So, it isn't so simple as "it's their business" and "when you know, you know?"

Whowouldathunkit?!

OMG...how do we know when someone knows what they want out of life and when they are old enough? Do we rebuke opinions until the opinion gods say so?

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

OMG...how do we know when someone knows what they want out of life and when they are old enough? Do we rebuke opinions until the opinion gods say so?

Why am I hearing some TV evangelist saying "Opinion of Evil, I rebuke thee!"?

[BluPhire]

Originally Posted by Munchkin03

You're absolutely right. It's totally based on the individual couple. While I would be disarmed by my 18 year old cousin getting married to someone he knew after 6 months, my 36 year old sister getting married after less than a year of knowing someone is less bothersome. As you get older and know what you want out of life, it's easier to make that decision after less time.

Ummm no. I know many a 36 year old that still doesn't know anything about themselves or life, get into quick marriages because the biological clock is ticking. From my POV no matter the age, if I believed in it no matter whaat age I would not have worries. If I don't, I still wouldn't have a different opinion based on age.

[Munchkin03]

Originally Posted by BluPhire

Ummm no. I know many a 36 year old that still doesn't know anything about themselves or life, get into quick marriages because the biological clock is ticking. From my POV no matter the age, if I believed in it no matter whaat age I would not have worries. If I don't, I still wouldn't have a different opinion based on age.

I know 55 year olds who have no clue about life, but what's your point?

I would still trust the average 36 year old to have more of a clue about what they wanted than an 18 year old.

[BluPhire]

Originally Posted by Munchkin03

I know 55 year olds who have no clue about life, but what's your point?

I would still trust the average 36 year old to have more of a clue about what they wanted than an 18 year old.

Why? What has the average 36 year old shown you to come to that conclusion?

I only make this statement because you are basing it on family members, which is fine, because you know your family more than we do, but to say that as you get older you know more of what you want in life I have to challenge that.

I would say you should, but I haven't seen definitive proof of that one way or the other.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by BluPhire

...but to say that as you get older you know more of what you want in life I have to challenge that.

I would say you should, but I haven't seen definitive proof of that one way or the other.

The older idiots that you know are the exception rather than the rule.

The general rule of life is that "with age comes wisdom/maturity/experience." That is not to be confused with "with age comes perfection" or "with age comes absolute certainty on everything."

If not for this rule of life, we would let children do whatever the hell they please and children would be able to challenge adult knowledge, wisdom, and experience on everything.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by Munchkin03

I know 55 year olds who have no clue about life, but what's your point?

I would still trust the average 36 year old to have more of a clue about what they wanted than an 18 year old.

Well, BluPhire has a good point.

If the 36 year old you're talking about looks longingly at every baby she sees and marries the first guy that asks her - even though none of her friends understand what she sees in him - that means the clock's a-ticking and that's the only reason she's getting married, and it's the WRONG reason. Babies should come about because two people love each other, not because they're an item on the checklist of life that you fear you have forgotten.

I'm not in love right now, and while I do have one of those "ticking clocks" I can't think of anything more repugnant than if I would wake up tomorrow pregnant. Other women in my position are running around trying to get fertilized by someone, anyone, under the sun, even if they'd be raising the baby alone. They're thinking of themselves, not the life they're creating.

[Munchkin03]

Originally Posted by 33girl

Well, BluPhire has a good point.

If the 36 year old you're talking about looks longingly at every baby she sees and marries the first guy that asks her - even though none of her friends understand what she sees in him - that means the clock's a-ticking and that's the only reason she's getting married, and it's the WRONG reason. Babies should come about because two people love each other, not because they're an item on the checklist of life that you fear you have forgotten.

I'm not in love right now, and while I do have one of those "ticking clocks" I can't think of anything more repugnant than if I would wake up tomorrow pregnant. Other women in my position are running around trying to get fertilized by someone, anyone, under the sun, even if they'd be raising the baby alone. They're thinking of themselves, not the life they're creating.

Everyone knows "exceptions" to this rule, the baby-hungry 40-year old or the exceptionally mature teenager, but remember, they are the exceptions and not the rule. Generally, I'd STILL trust someone in their 30s to make a better decision about marriage than someone just out of high school.

We can get bogged down in the "exceptions," but that doesn't really help anyone.

[BluPhire]

But isn't this entire thread filled with posts full of exceptions?

I guess I was making my point because we all have opinions.

I mean one example was pointed at that getting married quickly involves luck...yet the generation beforehand it was the norm..and for every horror story that is just now coming out, there are 5 that it worked for.

So again...

[Animate]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

So, it isn't so simple as "it's their business" and "when you know, you know?"

Whowouldathunkit?!

OMG...how do we know when someone knows what they want out of life and when they are old enough? Do we rebuke opinions until the opinion gods say so?

I like you. Lets play checkers.

[Kevin]

My parents dated for 2 weeks before tying the knot. Been 36+ years now.

Definitely not a backwoods okie thing either, although that [the quick marriage thing] is rather common here. At this point, my father was General Counsel for the Oklahoma Department of Highways and my mother was finishing up her Master's in French Literature after having spent most of her early/mid 20's studying in Paris and Switzerland and hitchhiking around Europe and Africa.

[nittanygirl]

i'm a wait it out kind of person. i think it's crazy to get married too young.

bf and i have been together for 4 years this july and we're not rushing anything. we made a sorta mention of 2013.... soooo that will be 7 years together before marriage lol if it happens
it's weird to see a lot of HS friends getting married already.
Also his sister is getting married this year and I've been around longer than her fiance lol which is actually quite interesting to see

[AGDee]

I think age has a lot to do with it myself. I think your average 84 year old can more easily promise to spend the rest of their lives with their intended after knowing them only a short period of time.

And yes, I am getting punchy from too much cryptography.

[DrPhil]

Go away spammer.