A little advice please.

[papaqueso]

Hello everyone,
recently I pledged a fraternity at my school in order to become more involved on campus and have access to events that could help boost my resume as well as meet new people. I am interested in staying for that sake but recently I have felt overwhelmed with pledge education assignments and I am starting to question whether it is worth it, and whether after pledging semester it will calm down and i can focus on what I want to get out of the chapter. Another issue is that I am very close and hang out all the time with another group of friends that are not in the greek system and who I will be living with next year. I'm sure others have had to deal with balancing two groups of friends and I was just wondering how the best way to do it is. Another note, right now I feel much more comfortable with my other friends (not in fraternities) than those in the fraternity. This is probably causing me to not put as much effort into the fraternity as I should. Is this something that will work itself out after a rough pledging semester or how should i fix it.
Thank you everyone so much.

[Psi U MC Vito]

Since none of us here know what your pledge process is like, we can't help you with that. I would say talk to your pledge master. As for the second, it is perfectly normal to have friends outside the fraternity. But I wonder this, how much time do you spend with the Brothers?

[RedHotSigDelt]

It's difficult to answer this without knowing what your pledge process is like. I actually found that once I initiated, I started devoting a lot more to my sorority; however, my chapter was paranoid about not hazing us, so a lot of events in our new member process were not mandatory, etc., and we mostly just focused on bonding with our pledge class. Once I was initiated, I started having to do more things like getting ready for recruitment, helping out with philanthropy projects, etc.

I guess it depends on what you're looking for. You say you want to meet new people and boost your resume - are your new member activities not doing this? I guess if you're focused on learning the history of the fraternity, that makes sense. There will definitely be less of that once you're initiated. But you're always going to be doing things for the fraternity - that's what being involved means. But in doing so, you'll likely gain close friendships, a sense of belonging to something bigger, and a little boost for your resume. Just don't think of it as trying to "get something" from the fraternity. What you get is equivalent to what you put in.

Anyway, if you're living with your other friends next year, you should have no trouble staying friends with them. It's not hard to balance two groups of friends, just make sure you hang out with both of them - maybe go out with one group Friday night and the other group Saturday night. If you feel like you're neglecting one group, just hang out with them more. And it makes sense that you would be less comfortable around your friends in the fraternity at the moment - you just met them!! Give it time, nothing is instant.