Immediate advice wanted! Thanks!

[cs32]

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[Benzgirl]

Originally Posted by cs32

Ladies I could really use your help, support, and advice right now.
Today is our 3rd round
i just got which sororities asked me back out of possible 4 i got ask back.
I don't know what i should do
it was my 3rd choice but only because my roommate from last semester is in it and i have a bunch of friends because of her and i wanted to try something new.
I don't know what i should do though.
I like the sorority i think the girls are great I just am a little disappointed right now.
Any advice? and of course i will still go to the party. Thanks!

what?

[PhoenixAzul]

Firstly, deep breath. Relax.

Go to the parties you were invited to. Give it one more once-over. Look around the room and look at not only the sorority members, put the other PNMs in the room. Do they seem like people you want to spend (copious!) amounts of time with? Can you see yourself growing with them? Plenty of women on here received bids to their 2nd and 3rd choices, and made incredibly happy active members. So go to your parties, and then afterwards if you're still unsure and still unhappy, talk to your recruitment counselor and see what she says. I would really suggest finishing the process (meaning filling out your final preference card).

[gee_ess]

because my roommate from last semester is in it and i have a bunch of friends in it

I like the sorority i think the girls are great I just am a little disappointed right now.

I completely understand your disappointment. You wanted to test the waters, meet new friends, see if another house would work for you. BUT, take a look at what you said. You have friends here. You like the girls.

The advice you got above is good. Go to the party, take a deep breath. These girls are your friends, and they obviously like you because they invited you back. Tell them how happy you are to be back. Tell them that you have enjoyed who you have talked with and that you really like the girls you know in that house. Tell them how at home you feel. Give them some positive feedback to reassure them that you, also, like them. This a mutual selection. They need to hear good things just like you do!

There are many girls who got their second or third choices and are happy members today. There are also TOO, TOO many girls who decided to give up on being Greek simply because they got their second or third choice. Which do you want to be?

Hugs to you! Hang in there and enjoy the party today!

[MidwayManiac]

The good news is that you have a nice group of people that like you.

If I were your "life coach", I would tell you that I'd like to see you maximize your chances for being happy with them. To do that, it is important not to let your disappointment with the other houses get in the way of being totally present for the place that wants you.

I would tell you to get out two sheets of paper, and on each paper, write a letter to each chapter that turned you down. Tell them what you will miss about being a part of their sisterhood and what feelings you have. If you want to cry while writing the letters, cry.

Under no circumstances should you mail the letters -- this is for your benefit only.

Put the letters in an envelope in the back of your desk, and move forward.

[dreamseeker]

swerving out my lane here a bit, but since u said u like the girls in the 3rd choice i'd say go for it. you can still meet and be friends with new people.

[KSUViolet06]

Disappointment with cuts is natural, but I defintely think you should attend the party and see how you feel.

[Blue Skies]

Sometimes the perfect chapter for you isn't glaringly apparent at first. The disappointment that you are feeling is entirely normal. Definitely see the process through. I think that no matter what happens, you will be very glad that you did.

If you like the sorority and you think the girls are great...I couldn't imagine a better introduction to greek life. Go for it!

[UGAalum94]

You have my sympathy with your disappointment; it's understandable. But if you still like the group you have, the only advice is to keep going.

[texas*princess]

I think you should read all the threads b/c there are already 5 with the same exact scenario.

A full schedule does not automatically = a bid.... just like being invited to only one house does not automatically = no bid.

If you REALLY want a shot at being greek, go to the rush party and see how it turns out.

There are also TONS of stories of girls who only got bids to their 2nd or 3rd choice houses and were initially disappointed, but went on to LOVE their house, their sisters and their greek experience.

[barnard1897]

Looking back, in It's a Wonderful Life style,

If only I had decided not to accept the bid, just because my really good friend in the dorm received a bid to a different house on bid day, what would have happened?

-I would never have been recruitment chair and on the executive board of my chapter
-The sorority women who brought me meals after I had my first child, and visited me when I was a struggling new mom, would not be there for me
-The sorority alum who wrote a grad school reference for me would not have done so
-My sorority sister and closest friend would not have been my maid of honor and godmother to my little girl
-The alumna chapter that has been at my side during the tough times in life as well as well as when I have had moments to celebrate, wouldn't be around
-I would not have become a respected and high-level leader within my GLO

Trust me when I say, even after pledging, many women experience doubts and second thoughts. You just have to remember that it becomes what you make of it. I hope you make a choice that gives you the chance to create those experiences for yourself. The ranking that you give a house after a week or so of meeting all these people...maybe, just maybe, it won't be the same if you give this house, and yourself, a chance. By the way, the friend who took a different bid? Well, she's still my close friend today, almost 20 years later.

[Bella796]

This group obviously saw something in you that they liked. I agree with the above poster because sometimes you just don't know how life is going to turn out. Every year during bid day there are some girls who are upset and crying because they are upset with their choices. We always tell the girls to give it some time and see how they feel. If they still don't like the sorority and don't want to be there then they can leave. I know when I was an active one girl who was hystericaly sobbing (and actually missed bid day pictures) actually ended up becoming our vice president (and highly involved in her alumni chapter) and another girl became the recruitment chair and all of her biological sister's have even joined the same sorority in different schools.
I think you should give it a shot, you really never know how things are going to work out. Sometimes things work out in mysterious ways.
The choice is always yours and we can't make your decisions for you but I think you should always take the chances that life affords you.

[cs32]

thanks for all the advice i am now part of........AXO!!!! im so excitedd!!!

[Buttonz]

Originally Posted by cs32

thanks for all the advice i am now part of........AXO!!!! im so excitedd!!!

Congrats to you and AXO!!!

[dreamseeker]

congrats, and enjoy!