Rush - What to NOT do or say - Page 35

KSUViolet06 · #**511** 05-03-2009, 03:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Leopards5113

im a freshman now and im transferring to a new school in the fall. this school doesnt hold sorority rush until the fall of sophomore year so i havent missed anything which is great! but i was just wondering, should i not mention that im a transfer? also i rushed at my old school and dropped after the first round. im guessing i shouldnt mention that? if they asked if i rushed should i just say no? thanks!

Chances are good that the sorority will know you're a transfer by your transcript or something of that nature.

I'd say don't mention that you rushed elsewhere. It shouldn't come up, but if asked, don't lie.

truelies · #**512** 05-13-2009, 05:48 PM

My sorority is one of the only organizations on our campus that does not put down other organizations on campus. I always tell PNMs to go where they feel they belong and if that means not following their friends, so be it. This is not a decision that can not be taken back (most sororities, mine included do NOT take girls who have dropped from another sorority's pledging) and must not be taken lightly. If needed I tell the story about how my friends and I went into recruitment saying that we were going to pledge the same sorority but felt at home with different organizations.

Since other organizations and non-greeks love to spread rumors about hazing we got a lot of questions about it. I basically explain that whoever spread those rumors is not a sister and if they are not a sister/did not go through our process then how do they know what it entails? I also go into the school's anti-hazing policy.

General convo I talk about shopping, TV shows, music, etc... I tend to stay away from political/religious issues because you do not want to risk offending someone.

Leopard - if I does come up as to why you dropped just give an explanation as to why.

FSUZeta · #**513** 05-13-2009, 07:17 PM

"Since other organizations and non-greeks love to spread rumors about hazing we got a lot of questions about it. I basically explain that whoever spread those rumors is not a sister and if they are not a sister/did not go through our process then how do they know what it entails? I also go into the school's anti-hazing policy." Truelies

But if the question was "do you haze?" you have not answered it. if i were a pnm, i would wonder why.

truelies · #**514** 05-13-2009, 07:30 PM

I have never been asked if we haze, just specific questions (like do you make your girls eat dog food/goldfish, etc...) One rumor that was spread about my organization when I was a pnm was that we circle fat. This was told to me by a sister of the sorority that my best friend was pledging and she actually said "Oh, don't pledge the DEBs, they circle your fat." Now I am a plus sized girl so you could imagine I FREAKED. I still would have even if I was a size 2. I went into our tea (preference) freaked out about this and was reassured by my now sisters. Obviously it was just a rumor, I would have never stood for that and would not expect anyone else to.

Regarding the "do you haze?" - I tell them that I do not know for sure about other organizations because I did not pledge them but to know their own boundaries. If they are being asked to do something that is going to physically/mentally harm them and compromise who they are as an individual then do NOT do it. Also, if we give you a bid to join our sorority that means that we potentially want you to be our sister and why would we degrade girls that we want to be sisters?

tigers01 · #**515** 05-16-2009, 11:00 PM

this information is all really helpful! Im going to be rushing this fall as a freshman and am really excited but also nervous because ive heard from older friends that it is a stressful week! i have a couple questions though..

as far as recommendations go my school websites info says that its not the pnm's responsibility to get rec.'s nor is it required but you can if you know someone.. but idk if most people are going to have rec.'s and i will be the only one without any? i dont know any adults who have been in sororitys.

also i have a cousin at uga who is in a sorority, is that considered a legacy? she hasnt graduated yet though shes only a sophomore.

im pretty clear on what not to talk about, however i AM very worried about the cost of pledging but i dont want to ask about it, do they usually inform us about the financial aspect of the sorority at some point of rush week?

lastly, ive heard from a lot of people that its a good idea to deactivate your facebook during rush and some people have said to do it as soon as you register for rush because they will start looking you up once they get your info.. is it really that big of a deal? ill probably look through and make sure i dont have any inappropriate pictures but ive heard that they judge as harshly as not considering girls who have red cups in their pictures or have their arms behind friends backs in pictures because apparently in college thats how they hide drinks in pictures?? i just think this sounds a little extreme, does anyone know how seriously they judge pictures??

thanks for all the help =)

GammaPhi88 · #**516** 05-16-2009, 11:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tigers01

this information is all really helpful! Im going to be rushing this fall as a freshman and am really excited but also nervous because ive heard from older friends that it is a stressful week! i have a couple questions though..

as far as recommendations go my school websites info says that its not the pnm's responsibility to get rec.'s nor is it required but you can if you know someone.. but idk if most people are going to have rec.'s and i will be the only one without any? i dont know any adults who have been in sororitys.

It doesn't really matter what the website says, but if you are going to a school with a competitive recruitment, get recs. I couldn't tell you why they tell you that it is the sororities job to get recs, but in most cases, that isn't true. Even if your school is not that competitive, get recs anyway, it can only help. Also, you say you may not know any adults in sororities, but you have no idea who may be. Ask teachers, people at your place or worship, parents friends, and you may be surprised at who is in a sorority. Adults may not wear lettered sweatshirts, but you never know who went greek in college

also i have a cousin at uga who is in a sorority, is that considered a legacy? she hasnt graduated yet though shes only a sophomore.

That depends on the particular sorority's legacy policy. In Gamma Phi Beta, that is not a legacy. Even if you aren't a legacy, try to get your cousin to right a rec for you.

im pretty clear on what not to talk about, however i AM very worried about the cost of pledging but i dont want to ask about it, do they usually inform us about the financial aspect of the sorority at some point of rush week?

Generally, sororities distribute a sheet containing financial information during one of the rounds. I know at my school it is required by the college Panhellenic.

lastly, ive heard from a lot of people that its a good idea to deactivate your facebook during rush and some people have said to do it as soon as you register for rush because they will start looking you up once they get your info.. is it really that big of a deal? ill probably look through and make sure i dont have any inappropriate pictures but ive heard that they judge as harshly as not considering girls who have red cups in their pictures or have their arms behind friends backs in pictures because apparently in college thats how they hide drinks in pictures?? i just think this sounds a little extreme, does anyone know how seriously they judge pictures??

Chances are, they won't be looking that closely, as sororities do not have time to facebook stalk every PNM in that great detail. With hundreds of PNMs going through and only a week or so to recruit, I doubt sororities will take time to look through every picture a PNM has. But it IS a good idea to edit how you present yourself on facebook. Make your profile private, edit down your info (i.e. take "I LOOOOOOVE beer bongs!" out of your About Me area). I also recommend taking down pictures of yourself doing anything illegal or embarassing (such as sitting on a toilet at some random party giving the peace sign...not illegal, but probably not great for facebook either). A general cleanup of yourself and the pictures tagged is a great idea to do in general, because it can save you a job or internship in the future as well. Also, don't be that freshman that friends EVERYONE. You never know who sees your personal information.

thanks for all the help =)

Hope that helped!

tigers01 · #**517** 05-16-2009, 11:45 PM

thanks so much for the advice!! =) i will definitely ask my cousin if she could write me a rec, although since shes still in school can she do that yet? i thought only alumnae could write a rec but i dont know about any of this stuff so i could be totally wrong lol ya i will start asking around for recommendations, im glad i found out this stuff now and not at the end of the summer! thanks again for the help!

GammaPhi88 · #**518** 05-17-2009, 01:02 AM

It depends on the sorority and their policy. Even if she can't write you a rec, she can possibly put you in contact with people who can.

jwright25 · #**519** 05-17-2009, 09:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tigers01

im pretty clear on what not to talk about, however i AM very worried about the cost of pledging but i dont want to ask about it, do they usually inform us about the financial aspect of the sorority at some point of rush week?

I'll give you the non-sugar-coated answer. If you ask about finances, it may stick out negatively to some sororities. If they are in a position where they have a zero accounts receivable, they may not want to risk that with someone who mentions early on that she'll have trouble paying. Conversely, if they are in a position where their A/R is astronomical, they might be looking to correct that and won't want to pledge a new member who can't pay.

GammaPhi88 mentions that some schools ask the sororities to distribute this information. Some Panhellenics do it on their behalf. If you haven't received the information or at least know that you will receive it, I suggest you ask the Greek Advisor for it prior to recruitment. Then review it and your budget carefully. Remember that the accounting you get might not include extras like tshirts, socials, required fundraising, etc. Sorority membership is a financial commitment - one that you should carefully consider before getting in too deep.

Quote:

Originally Posted by tigers01

lastly, ive heard from a lot of people that its a good idea to deactivate your facebook during rush and some people have said to do it as soon as you register for rush because they will start looking you up once they get your info.. is it really that big of a deal? ill probably look through and make sure i dont have any inappropriate pictures but ive heard that they judge as harshly as not considering girls who have red cups in their pictures or have their arms behind friends backs in pictures because apparently in college thats how they hide drinks in pictures?? i just think this sounds a little extreme, does anyone know how seriously they judge pictures??

I feel like there may be a discussion of this somewhere on GC - I vaguely remember replying to it. Here's my take. Too often we hear from PNMs (and their mothers) who are upset that they got released after just one party or that they are soooo awesome and don't know why the sororities couldn't see their fabulosity. I say leave your FB up and open to the public and display your awesome qualities and achievements for the members to see. Depending on your school and the size of the chapters, there just might be a couple of members assigned to research FB and MS and anything else they can find.

Personally, I think a very nicely done FB with tasteful pictures and well written content is a MUCH better tool than PNMs realize. Use it like a photo-resume. In my experience, chapter members like to see FB profiles and actually fall in love with PNMs that way. I've even had active send me emails - prior to women even signing up - requesting them as little sisters based on researching FB profiles. They liked what they saw, they recruited them hard, pledged them, and yes - got them as littles. Private profiles lead to the question, "What does she have to hide???" Not necessarily anything, but the question could be legit.

Cliffs Notes: If you rock, make your FB profile clean and awesome - it can't hurt and can only help. If you suck, make it private.

Good luck with recruitment!

txpacer · #**520** 05-17-2009, 10:29 AM

I rushed a local sorority last year, thinking that I would not fit in with an NPC sorority. Things did not work out with the local and I feel like I missed out on a lot by not going through NPC recruitment. If asked about any previous rush experiences I may have had, how should I go about discussing that--or should I even mention it?
Is it a big no-no to say that I feel like I missed out on a lot of opportunities and great friendships by not going through NPC recruitment? Is it appropriate to say that rushing a local sorority did not work out well last year?
BTW: I do go to a southern university that is somewhat competitive

KSUViolet06 · #**521** 05-17-2009, 01:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by txpacer

I rushed a local sorority last year, thinking that I would not fit in with an NPC sorority. Things did not work out with the local and I feel like I missed out on a lot by not going through NPC recruitment. If asked about any previous rush experiences I may have had, how should I go about discussing that--or should I even mention it?

Is it a big no-no to say that I feel like I missed out on a lot of opportunities and great friendships by not going through NPC recruitment? Is it appropriate to say that rushing a local sorority did not work out well last year?
BTW: I do go to a southern university that is somewhat competitive

I wouldn't bring it up. It really shouldn't come up (unless someone happens to know that you joined a local last year). On the off chance that someone should ask about it, try to answer without bashing or putting down the local group.

gocolonials · #**522** 05-17-2009, 08:12 PM

I'm a sophomore rushing in the fall, and I'm kind of in a sticky situation for the "no politics/religion" rule...ALL of the student orgs I'm in are either political or religious groups. What should I do if a rusher asks me which student orgs I'm in??? Thanks!

SWTXBelle · #**523** 05-17-2009, 08:23 PM

Tell them - but don't go off on a rant. Concentrate on the philanthropic aspects of the orgs and your leadership role(s). Trust me - they have been told not to be controversial. They should be able to steer the conversation to neutral ground - if not, you can change the subject. Turn the subject around to the chapter and what THEY do if you feel uncomfortable.

gocolonials · #**524** 05-17-2009, 08:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SWTXBelle

Concentrate on the philanthropic aspects of the orgs and your leadership role(s). .

Thank you SO much for the advice! I've been really worried about that. I'm actually going to be the community service chair for at least one of the groups.

Would it be OK if I tell a rusher that one of my top reasons for considering a sorority is the philanthropy element? Is it okay if we talk about that? Or should the conversation be about other things?

ADqtPiMel · #**525** 05-17-2009, 09:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gocolonials

Thank you SO much for the advice! I've been really worried about that. I'm actually going to be the community service chair for at least one of the groups.

Would it be OK if I tell a rusher that one of my top reasons for considering a sorority is the philanthropy element? Is it okay if we talk about that? Or should the conversation be about other things?

It's GW...EVERYONE is in political groups

I wouldn't get into debates over it, but just being a member probably won't impact your recruitment.

I think it's good to mention you're interested in philanthropy -- the second night of parties showcases each chapter's philanthropy, so that would probably be a great time to talk about it.