Try again or move on?

[wakeboarder101]

I'm unsure of what I should do. I am a freshman and rushed in the fall. I rushed two fraternities but spent most of my time and efforts on one. A couple of the guys I had talked to in this fraternity throughout the week thought I would for sure be in. The guy who interviewed me even thought I got a bid and messaged me on facebook to congratulate me. He was shocked when I told him I didn't get one. He encouraged me to keep my head up and come back in the spring and I would most likely for sure get in and that I probably just needed to talk to more guys. Now here's my question. If I wasn't "good enough" or they didn't "want me" in the fall, should I bother giving them a second chance and trying again? Or should I go back to my second choice where I am almost positive I would have/still could get a bid? My first choice, in my opinion, is the best fraternity on campus, but the other one is definitely in the top 3. Any advice?

[Canadian]

I worked with the government for a couple months earlier this year. They promised me fantastic salary, bankers hours and excellent benefits. Then one day I got hauled into an office, told I was being bought out, given a cheque for a few thousand dollars and set free. I wasn't even told why I was being bought out aside from "staffing needs change".

Now I know I can keep pestering that agency, try to get back in, but I'm not placing all my hopes in it. Sometimes there are quotas and requirements which we have no control over.

Analogy being: keep looking and I'm sure you'll get in somewhere where you'll be a good fit. I did and am currently middle management at a midsize firm.

Thomas

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by wakeboarder101

I'm unsure of what I should do. I am a freshman and rushed in the fall. I rushed two fraternities but spent most of my time and efforts on one. A couple of the guys I had talked to in this fraternity throughout the week thought I would for sure be in. The guy who interviewed me even thought I got a bid and messaged me on facebook to congratulate me. He was shocked when I told him I didn't get one. He encouraged me to keep my head up and come back in the spring and I would most likely for sure get in and that I probably just needed to talk to more guys. Now here's my question. If I wasn't "good enough" or they didn't "want me" in the fall, should I bother giving them a second chance and trying again? Or should I go back to my second choice where I am almost positive I would have/still could get a bid? My first choice, in my opinion, is the best fraternity on campus, but the other one is definitely in the top 3. Any advice?

Why did you spend most of your time at Fraternity A, rather than Fraternity B? Did you like Fraternity B less? Did you even get to know them? Or are they just "not as good" as Fraternity A, which is supposedly the top fraternity on campus? The point is to find guys that you'd want to call your brothers. Don't get me wrong, you also want a strong chapter that excels in academics, philanthropy, sports, etc., but it's also about making friends.

You also say that this one guy was surprised that you didn't receive a bid. Remember, he's only one person. The rest of the guys might have thought you just didn't fit in. It happens. On the other hand, they might not have had a chance to really get to know you.. or maybe they got to know other potential members better.

If you could see yourself in either place, rush both again. It can't hurt to try. But I would suggest spending some more time with Fraternity B, as you didn't really get to the first time around.