How do you pull yourself into happy?

[JennRN]

My title may sound weird but let me explain-I was just moved from the thriving fabulous city of Houston to West Virginia. It was for my husband's job, and because he makes a ridiculous amount of money, lost his job in Houston, and I can find a job wherever, we sort of had to go. This isn't a great economy, you know? We have moved cross country twice before this and usually after 6 months I am ok. However things here are different. There isn't a good mall to go to when sad. There are no good restaurants to go to when sad. There is no DG alum group to get involved with. No one I have met is "like me". I cry some, but based on "my pattern" hope that in a few months, things will be ok. My question is, short of meds, haha, how, in a similar situation, are you able to pull yourself out of sadness, into happy?

[Senusret I]

1) There's this quote that goes "The difference between hope and despair is often a good night's sleep." I really do live by this. When I am having the blues one night, I try my best to believe that a good eight hours will help to "reset" my emotional button.

2) No DG group, but is there an alumnae panhellenic? (I don't even know what those do, but I'm on GC enough to know that there is such a thing!)

3) Are there any professional organizations you can join that may have a service or social component?

[33girl]

I watch Beavis and Butt-Head for a couple hours. Or whatever makes you laugh.

You can get involved w/ the alum panhel (if there is one) as an "at large" member. I did this when I first moved to Pittsburgh. It's really fun and helps you feel connected.

Take a day and just wander around the town - it may seem like you're in BFE (trust me, I know that feeling) but you should be able to find at least one or two places you like. You might even get to like them better than the chain stores and restaurants.

Get on Facebook, Myspace or LJ and join the groups for your city or whatever is the city closest to it and let them know your situation. You might have to travel to get some "culture" but if you know it's out there, you won't feel as trapped. And remember - this isn't 1950 - you can still keep in touch with people online. I'm not suggesting you stay on the computer 24/7 but it's not like you're in complete exile.

[SWTXBelle]

I feel your pain. I moved from Houston to Paris, TN (pop. 6,000). I founded an alumnae panhellenic, because there wasn't a Gamma Phi group, and even though I formed a Crescent Circle (smaller than a full-fledged alumnae group) there really wasn't much interest from my sisters - they tended to be 20 - 30 years older than me, and hadn't been active in forever. The alumnae group was fun, and I really enjoyed meeting other sorority women.
I will admit that planning trips helped me stay sane - I love to travel, and having something to look forward to helped me "pull myself into happy". I gardened, and, don't laugh, got a dog and my fabulous pet chicken Houdini. I never did really make any close friends in Paris - but that's okay. I was there for four years, and have now returned home to Houston. I SO appreciate all that I have now.
The four years I spent in exile gave me time and space to think - something that is hard to do when you are running around all the time. It sounds like West Virginia might not be your final home - so take advantage of touring the beautiful state - act like a tourist in your own backyard! I really enjoyed traveling around Tennessee and seeing places I knew I would never have a chance to see again.
Good luck! Hope you cheer up soon.

[aggieAXO]

Do you still have your per chicken SWTX? I will occasionally treat pet chickens and find that they are really smart and interesting. I can't imagine eating them

Jenn-have you made any friends from work? If not maybe get to know some of your co workers, invite them to lunch or out for a drink. Have a dinner party at your house. I would think about getting a therapist to talk about things-it really does help (and it would be someone to talk to). I hope you feel better

[KSUViolet06]

*If you're feeling particularly miserable, it's okay to call one of your best girlfriends in Houston and have a good cry about it. It helps to get it out.

*If you're a Christian, try and find a church to go to regularly in your new city. You can meet alot of people that way. Same concept if you're Jewish or Muslim or something, you can meet people via your new temple or mosque.

[christiangirl]

I feel you. I tend to really be down when I move to a new school, but am usually okay after the second semester. No such luck. I still hate my new school/city and am excited to move again next year, lol. But, there are a few things I've done to at least make it manageable:

*Get involved. Is there some community service you can do? I always try to volunteer somewhere because I tend to feel better if I'm accomplishing something.

*People mentioned founding an alumni group or joining a church and that sounds like a good idea. I joined the local chapter of the professional organization I was in in college and it's helped A TON. I've met some new people but, as I was a member in college, it's still familiar.

*Travel. This new place is bearable because I get to see all the surrounding cities. NY is a few hours away, so I went for a weekend and had a blast! I'm constantly going some place new--places I've never gotten to see because I've never lived near them.

*Get some hobbies! I've taken up a few things I'd always wanted to try, but never did--things like figure skating, ballroom dancing, yoga, etc. Is there anything you've always thought was cool? Now's the perfect time to try it out. You might surprise yourself!

*A therapist isn't a bad idea. At the very least, it's someone who will listen to you while you just get it all out. Calling your friends back home is good for this to--makes them feel missed.

I hope your feel better. It's tough being in a new place and it takes a lot to "get happy." It might be awhile, but it gets better.

[SWTXBelle]

Originally Posted by aggieAXO

Do you still have your per chicken SWTX? I will occasionally treat pet chickens and find that they are really smart and interesting. I can't imagine eating them.

Neighborhood dogs got my poor Houdini. That's when I knew I could no longer live in Tennessee.

[alum]

Although there is no DG alumnae association in WV, you do have a chapter at WVU. Even if you don't want to serve as an advisor, perhaps you could get in touch with the chapter president or housemother to get the contact info for the advisors who would be fellow DG alumnae.

[RaggedyAnn]

There may not be a DG alum association, but have you contacted your HQ for names of local sisters? There may be others in the area and no one has taken the time to put the association together yet.

The Junior League is another organization you might want to check out. They are a volunteer organization that is very social.

[ThetaPrincess24]

When I feel I need more friends or need to find different friends, I join a new group.

In the past/present this has been: Beta Sigma Phi, my church (and getting involved in groups at church), Junior League, university alumni group,women's club, volunteering (hospital, senior center, MS Society, American Diabetes Assoc, local humane society), women republicans (i'm sure there is a women's democrat group somewhere), etc. Epsilon Sigma Alpha is a possibility too. Have you considered starting a DG/university alum group in your area? What about having a neighborhood/block party to meet neighbors?
My city also has a young professionals association that basically anyone who has a job aged 21-40 can join.

I am assuming you are an RN by your nickname. Have you tried to see if there is a local state nurses association in your area that is affiliated with ANA or NLN? Or a local chapter of a specialty nurses group?

Another idea is if you have a local YMCA or gym to belong to and sign up for classes there. I met several buddies in my yoga and pilates classes.

[KatieKate1244]

I really apologize for the WV doldrums. I just moved from Huntington (God, I hate that town) to a small coal mining town where the only business is a Dollar General (a very nice one, though). If you want decent shopping and restaurants, you'll have to go to Charleston's downtown. There's Indian, Middle Eastern, all sorts of other really good places. There's also Corridor G which is pretty much a strip mall paradise.