Single ladies, how do you respond to "why aren't you married yet?"

[AlwaysSAI]

Originally Posted by ASUADPi

Don't get me wrong, I want to get married and I want to have kids. But as my dad so kindly pointed out to me "you don't need to be married to have a child all you need is a sperm bank" (thanks dad). But the reality is, he's right. If the right guy comes along, great! But I've come to the point in my life that I'm not going to put any of my dreams on hold, I'm going to achieve them, whether I'm married or not.

I have yet to be asked why I'm not married yet, being that I'm only 22 and still have a year left of undergrad. But, I so often get, "Why don't you have a boyfriend?" or "Why aren't you dating?"

How about...BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO. I made the choice not to date when my last boyfriend broke up with me. After three years of revolving my life around someone so much that I literally lost myself--I'm not going to jump into another relationship with just some random John. I decided not to date and it's been the best two years I've ever had. I've worried about ME, WHAT I WANT TO DO, WHERE I WANT TO GO, SPENDING MY TIME HOW I WANT TO SPEND IT.

I'm still finding myself and digging myself out of the horrible hole I let him put me in, but for the first time in 5 years I know myself, accept myself, and love myself. I don't need a man to validate me, tell me I'm gorgeous--I can do all of that myself--FOR FREE.

I'm not rushing into a boyfriend and I'm not going to rush into marriage. And, I don't need kids--I have two chinchillas to care for.

[Jimmy Choo]

Originally Posted by AlwaysSAI

I have yet to be asked why I'm not married yet, being that I'm only 22 and still have a year left of undergrad. But, I so often get, "Why don't you have a boyfriend?" or "Why aren't you dating?"

They are asking you about the boyfriend b/c you are supposed to meet your husband in college. If you don't have a boyfriend then you can't be running straight for the alter the day after you graduate! Didn't you know that's what we women are supposed to do. Here you are trying to find yourself and be your own person..... you rulebreaker!!

[Dionysus]

Originally Posted by Jimmy Choo

They are asking you about the boyfriend b/c you are supposed to meet your husband in college. If you don't have a boyfriend then you can't be running straight for the alter the day after you graduate! Didn't you know that's what we women are supposed to do. Here you are trying to find yourself and be your own person..... you rulebreaker!!

I know you're being sarcastic, but I never even heard of the finding your husband/wife in college expectation, until I started reading these types of threads on GC.

[WinniBug]

I know this doesn't answer the OP's question, but people will continue to ask about your personal life, even after you get married.
My husband and I got married June, 2006...and since then, EVERYONE's asked "When are y'all having kids?" And I've had people tell me that once we have a child, people will just ask when the next one will be here.

[ComradesTrue]

Originally Posted by Dionysus

I never even heard of the finding your husband/wife in college expectation, until I started reading these types of threads on GC.

Seriously? Good for you. I had the unfortunate experience of actually knowing women who would brag that they were at a private university to get their "MRS. degree" since they assumed that they guys there were from wealthy backgrounds. Yes, they would openly admit that.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by Blondie93

Seriously? Good for you. I had the unfortunate experience of actually knowing women who would brag that they were at a private university to get their "MRS. degree" since they assumed that they guys there were from wealthy backgrounds. Yes, they would openly admit that.

I know some "MRS. Degree" girls too and I go to a big northern public school!

[Jimmy Choo]

Originally Posted by Dionysus

I know you're being sarcastic, but I never even heard of the finding your husband/wife in college expectation, until I started reading these types of threads on GC.

I think it is awesome that you never had to hear that kind of junk! I always heard from my family that since I was going away from home for college then I must be looking to marry a rich, southern man. I was in shock b/c I wasn't going to college to find a husband, I was going to college so I could be a professional!

I do sadly know a few girls who stuck around college just long enough to lock in a well-off guy and then dropped out. they said they didn't need an education b/c they had a rich husband. I'll admit I was totally appaulled.

[christiangirl]

Originally Posted by Dionysus

I know you're being sarcastic, but I never even heard of the finding your husband/wife in college expectation, until I started reading these types of threads on GC.

When my first boyfriend broke up with me in 9th grade, my mother said "It doesn't matter because, in college, you'll find a wonderful Morehouse Man who will love you for just who you are." Mind you, I was 14 and planning to go to Tuskegee, but she was convinced I'd marry a Morehouse Man no matter what state I went to school in. I guess they're supposed to be omnipresent.

[CatStarESP4]

There is a woman in my church who is in her 80s. She had never been married, but has a daughter who is her 50s would also never married.

Sometimes this woman would ask me when am I going to get married. I replied 'I don't know'. She would also ask me if I wanted to get married. I told her sometimes I do, sometimes I don't.

I am 35 years old and don't have a boyfriend.

However, I would love to tell the next person who asks me why I am not married if they are going donate to the 'Find Mr. CatStarESP4 Fund'. Another answer would be 'I am married to my education'.

I don't get why it is anyone's business about your marital or relationship status.

[Blacksocialite]

I simply tell people that I love my life and the freedom (and lifeskills) being Single has afforded me!

I could have been married many times but I've opted to wait for the right partner.

I'm 37 and have a boyfriend - but I've never been married.

[Fabunni]

Wow. I see a lot of single women here. I am from Liberia and I am looking for my queen. I am looking for a woman who can arouse my intellect as well as my loins.

[PeppyGPhiB]

Originally Posted by Fabunni

Wow. I see a lot of single women here. I am from Liberia and I am looking for my queen. I am looking for a woman who can arouse my intellect as well as my loins.

Your lions? OH, your loins!

[AOII_LB93]

Originally Posted by Fabunni

Wow. I see a lot of single women here. I am from Liberia and I am looking for my queen. I am looking for a woman who can arouse my intellect as well as my loins.

Isn't this a line from "Coming to America"? I think I remember Eddie Murphy saying this to Arsenio.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by AOII_LB93

Isn't this a line from "Coming to America"? I think I remember Eddie Murphy saying this to Arsenio.

Ding ding!

[twinkle555]

My parents asked me this yesterday (actually they told me I was "getting old" and I had to hurry up...Im 23 btw). It pissed me off. I know the only reason they are asking/mentioning it is because my 24 year old cousing just got engaged and is getting hitched in October. I have a bf of 3 years+ so apparently according to my family I should be engaged/married. The icing on the cake was when my mom told me that they wouldnt be able to pay for a wedding for me anyways!! So apparently my quickie wedding is going to be a lavish ceremony in the downtown courthouse. Yea..im in SUCH a hurry now..