I need help to try and stop my mom from harrassing me about my fraternity

[AlethiaSi]

Definitely listen/ do everything that AKA_Monet and others have said, they are great ideas, and there are a lot of parents AND greeks on here, so they can give you a great perspective.

It IS hard when parents are against something that you love so much. My parents DID NOT understand why I put everything I had into my sorority. They know that I'm social and have a lot of friends, etc, but I almost always went above and beyond the call of duty (sometimes to the detriment of health, sanity and grades ).
My dad came and visited me my senior year, and actually stayed at my sorority house and absolutely loved my sisters, and even though he shook his head at me from time to time, he understood. My mom didn't come to visit me while I was in the sorority until I graduated. She met my sisters, hung out, etc and fell in love too. She also has a greater understanding of the benefits of the sorority because she is the VP of her teacher's union. She now understands what the cost is for the success of the organization as a whole. I am such a stronger person and a leader, rather than a follower, and I credit that to the sorority.

My point is, invite her to visit the house, meet your brothers, and hopefully she'll understand that it isn't about partying, it's SO much more than that. (community service, philanthropy, leadership training, connections, and brotherhood, etc )
GOOD LUCK!!!

[OSU Maman]

I'm confused. How does an ex-gf not pledging have something to do with you getting a 3.0 and not a 3.4?

[scarleteriberry]

Originally Posted by OSU Maman

I'm confused. How does an ex-gf not pledging have something to do with you getting a 3.0 and not a 3.4?

I think he meant that the ex-girlfriend affected his grades; pledging did not. Not "my ex-girlfriend didn't pledge, so I only got a 3.0." Right?

[Zillini]

You've said you are the first in your family to go to college so obviously you're the first to go Greek. It sounds like she's caught up with all the negative Animal House stereotypes that are out there. Do you or better still your mom know any Greek alums? Regardless of the fraternity or sorority. Perhaps if she talked to someone else besides you she might better understand what being Greek really means and how it can benefit you your whole life. An alum has "been there, done that" and learned the true value of being Greek including lifelong brother/sisterhood, leadership skills, the importance of community service and above all scholastic achievement.

[banditone]

My mom wasn't really on board with it until she met my pledge pop and some of my pledge brothers. Then she was all for it, as they are a great bunch of guys. Even now when we talk she asks for updates on "the boys".

[OSU Maman]

"yea i got a 3.0 but that was due to an ex girlfriend not pledging, but she was nice enough to say that due to those circumstances, NEXT semester i gotta get a 3.4, see she loves me haha"

LOL! I re-read this and inserted a comma after the word girlfriend and it takes on a different meaning--the intended one.

[BYXEagle]

It also may have been your mom has done some research, but about the wrong chapters of your fraternity. Every national fraternity has good chapters and bad chapters. I don't know anything about your chapter, but I know at USM, Pikes are not popular by any means. They always fight with the other fraternities and many of them go on academic probation at the end of each semester,while Millsaps College Pikes are the best men on campus. You also might want to make sure that a situation like that is not going on where you mom has studied a little bit about your fraternity and only found stuff about the bad chapters. I agree with the idea of having a family day that would be a great opportunity to show her what it means to you.

[Tom Earp]

I take since only a Mom is mentioned, there is no Dad.

Moms are the most protective and worriesome of either of the two parents in life.

I have been the first to go to college in my total family and the only one to join a GLO. Neither were sure about this and I am sure worried.

Well, I left a Fraternity and started a local that later affiliated with a major Fraternity.

They would visit and got to know the Guys (Brothers) and were warmly welcomed and accepted by them.

The main problem may be the unkmow for Mom. Her little boy is on his own and is really worried about you.

Just try to not prove her wrong!

[RutgersPIKE]

Originally Posted by scarleteriberry

I think he meant that the ex-girlfriend affected his grades; pledging did not. Not "my ex-girlfriend didn't pledge, so I only got a 3.0." Right?

right sorry to make that confusing, i broke up with my ex of three years so i was depressed and let it affect my school, pledging did not affect my grades

[RutgersPIKE]

Originally Posted by Tom Earp

I take since only a Mom is mentioned, there is no Dad.

Moms are the most protective and worriesome of either of the two parents in life.

I have been the first to go to college in my total family and the only one to join a GLO. Neither were sure about this and I am sure worried.

Well, I left a Fraternity and started a local that later affiliated with a major Fraternity.

They would visit and got to know the Guys (Brothers) and were warmly welcomed and accepted by them.

The main problem may be the unkmow for Mom. Her little boy is on his own and is really worried about you.

Just try to not prove her wrong!

my dad was just pissed that i went behind their backs and pledged, but he said right away that it was my decision and i had to live with the affects of that decision, hes a real easy going guy

[BSUPhiSig'92]

I've been out of school a long time, but neither of my parents wanted me to join a fraternity. My mother had been in a sorority, but my father had gone the Navy route instead of college and didn't understand what a fraternity was all about. They ultimately let me make my decision, but for a while they were very apprehensive about the fraternity. It wasn't until they actually got to know some of my brothers and see how truly happy I was that they dropped their objections.

Ultimately I became a Greek Life advisor, and while my father never understood what I did (he thought I planned keg parties for a living), they both realized that joining a fraternity was ultimately the right move for me.

Give your mom time, she'll eventually start to see it from your perspective. Moms often look at things from the worst-case-scenario viewpoint, but in time if she sees her fears aren't coming true she'll ease on her objections. (and it doesn't change, no matter how old you get, Mom will always worry!)

[OSU Maman]

"Maybe your chapter could have a "Parents Weekend" where you invite all the parents of the actives and pledges, have a nice barbecue or even a sit down banquet depending on your budget. You could do a slide show that shows your brotherhood and philanthropy. Maybe intercut it with clips of brothers talking about what Pike means to them.

Then you could do some sort of appreciation skit for the moms, grandmas, whoever else attends and give them a rose or whatever the fraternity flower is."

Wow. That is a great idea. I don't know if fraternities or sororities ever do something like this, but as a parent, I would love it.

RutgersPIKE, just remember to be honest with your parents. I always tell my daughter that I can accept just about anything she does, except for lying. It breaks that bond of trust.

I wish you the best and I hope you find a new girlfriend.

[RutgersPIKE]

wow its funny how people think what they have to say about my school and fraternity really bothers me, I know that im in a great school and a great fraternity, i dont know if its jealousy or what not, but whatever people can say what they want to say and you can take this topic, which will probably be locked now cause people are to immature to say anything otherwise, and trash my fraternity and my school, but hey it doesnt bother me cause unlike those people im happy with the decisions i made and i never trash other fraternities because we are all greek and all have the same ideas and beliefs so say what you want and hey if you want me to be butt of your jokes (which really arent that funny, if you were going to trash me, you could of picked better jokes come on now) and make yourselves look like idiots and i thank all the people who are mature for the help the advice was great and im in the process of planning this parent weekend. and for those peopel who trash pike, we know its jealousy so we love when peopel trash us haha

[banditone]

Good point Rutgers... And I mean, wth??? Giving us a hard time? Rutgers and University of Tulsa are private schools that cost roughly 6x's (or more) as much to attend then most universities. Oh Well (yes, I did the research on cost... I think Rutgers is private, right?).

[RutgersPIKE]

No rutgers is the state university of new jersey, we were offered a bid into the ivy league a long time ago but we turned it down because rutgers didnt want to become a private school and have its tuition shoot up, but that doesnt stop much of the rest of the nation thinking its an ivy league school, there was a quote in the star ledger (newark nj newspaper) saying that Rutgers isv"inarguably America's cockiest, smartest party school. The only school in history who rejected their Ivy League invitation" its a fact that everyone here jokes about haha