whats your relationship with your big/little?

Katylovesit · #1 06-21-2007, 10:56 PM

I was just wondering if you guys are close to your big/lil?

Me and my big never really clicked but when we see each other at the house we make small talk but the only time we hung out was a week after reveal and we ate out (which she brought three of her non greek friends with her) I always thought that she was dissapointed that i was her little

ZTABullwinkle · #2 06-21-2007, 11:08 PM

I never had a great relationship with my "big," but I have a great relationship with one of my "lils" who will be my maid of honor at my wedding next year. (I am also a bridesmaid in her wedding.) I think it is up to both of you to make the best of your Big/Lil relationship.

AnatraAmore · #3 06-21-2007, 11:34 PM

I agree... out of my three lils, two of them I am very close with and the other I am still pretty close with. She jokingly calls herself my "neglected child." She was the most independent of the three and knew more sisters coming into pledging, than my other two. As a result, I spent less time hanging out with her one-on-one while she pledged. (Although we have spent lots of time together since then!)

One thing I have noticed that other sisters tended to adopt lils who really are neglected by their bigs. Sometimes the big sisters who aren't close with their lils are imitiating the relationship they had with their bigs, so if your big sister doesn't call you to hang out, call her! Maybe she's shy or feels awkward just calling you to hang out...

jennie3576 · #4 06-21-2007, 11:50 PM

i'm close as i can be with my littles. i never had a little as an undergrad, but through a program National runs, I have littes in new AST colonies (one's a chapter now!). They are long distance relationships, but very good ones at that!

DeltaBetaBaby · #5 06-22-2007, 12:14 AM

My big is one of my best friends to this day. My pledge mom, on the other hand, despises me. So you win some, you lose some.

AlethiaSi · #6 06-22-2007, 12:19 AM

I have two littles and one of them I am closer with. She is now President, the other is the President leaving office (I was President right before her.... my whole line is on exec... yay) anyway, I am closer to one and her little than to my other, but my g.little and my g.g.little on the other side i'm close with.
I hope that made sense... lol

Here is a link to another thread from the alumni forum which asks a similar question.

fifi225 · #7 06-22-2007, 12:31 AM

My little sisters make me smile every day (eventhough they probably have no idea as one is off and married and busy being awesome, and I'm so busy with work that I only see the other about once a week or so). They are seriously the two most increadable women I've ever had the privledge to know.

The two of them are twins from the same PC and are different as different can be, but we're the happiest family there ever was! we're also probably the smallest :P it's just the three of us and since my one little that's still in college is probably not going to take a little, a happy 3 it shall stay for all time.

My (unofficial, of course) big brother is a TKE and he is probably (aside from my parents) the single most positive infulence in my life thus far.

My (again unofficial) Fraternity littles are all increadable people who I make every effort to catch up with as often as I can (I'll admit, I'm better with some of them then others).

With all that awesome, I don't even need a big sister

CrimsonBlues · #8 06-22-2007, 12:55 AM

I'm not at all close to my big. I never once talked to her during recruitment, and she was assigned as my big on Bid Day. We've always had a pleasant enough relationship, but it stops at that. It didn't really help things that she took a second little in the pledge class after mine and was an infinitely better big to her than she ever was to me - for example, she didn't even offer to take me to the house for new member pinning as the bigs were instructed to do; I had to go with another new member who lived on my hall and her big. She and her other little went out and did stuff all the time during her pledge period. Every time I see her leave messages on her other little's wall that say "You're the best little EVER!!" or "I miss you sooo much!" it makes me a little sad. Her other little is much more bubbly than I am and their backgrounds are more similar (though I don't think she ever talked to this one during recruitment, either, and I know they didn't know each other before) so I guess they just had more in common, but it was always just a little frustrating when my pledge sisters would get invites from their bigs to do things all the time and I hardly ever even got an IM from mine.

Now, my own little and I have a much better relationship, although I still wouldn't characterize it as particularly close. I spoke to her during the first round of recruitment and I preffed her, so despite our big/little relationship being set in stone on Bid Day, I did know a little bit more about her than my big knew about me. We have a lot more in common than I do with my big, and I also made a great effort to be the big that I had hoped my own big would be. We were very friendly with each other at functions and around the house and interacted easily - I never felt like I was making small talk with her like I always did with my big. Unfortunately, we rarely made plans to hang out outside of that once her pledge period was over (she's also extremely involved in other campus activities, which makes it rather difficult to get ahold of her). However, I definitely feel that I will keep in touch with her now that I've graduated...not so much with my big.

I am glad to say, though, that my chapter has shifted away from assigning bigs and little on Bid Day and now gives the new members and sisters a couple weeks to get to know each other instead. Still not perfect, but it seems to have resulted in better pairings.

Kevin · #9 06-22-2007, 01:10 AM

My little was not worthy. It was tough, but I decided he and my organization weren't made for each other.

rufio · #10 06-22-2007, 02:51 AM

my big is my best friend. granted i've known him for a decade. and me and my little are pretty close. he's a good kid

KyleMcGuire1983 · #11 06-22-2007, 03:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kevin

My little was not worthy. It was tough, but I decided he and my organization weren't made for each other.

That's a crappy feeling.

My big bro and I were close when he was in college, he was the Commander (Prez) when I pledged, but after he graduated he distanced himself from the chapter on a social level. He became our Chapter Advisor and works as an engineer MUCH more serious and professional than his pledge bro (who graduated with him) who run around our house 4 days a week drinking. I know my big still loves the house, he just feels awkward hanging out with us. We go to dinner about twice a month and still talk all the time, but it's not the same as it was when he was undergrad. Maybe when I go alum that will change.

My first lil bro just finished freshman year and is totally a freshman. He's unsure of himself a lot and turns to me for older brother style advice, which is awesome because that's what big/lil is all about. He's serving on exec with me (we're the only big/lil set on exec right now lol) as Social Chairman. He's a good kid.

My second lil bro...I wouldn't say he's not worthy because the active chapter thought the guy was great. He decided to leave school and join the Air Force. He was big on sacrifice and service and felt he couldn't live with himself unless he joined the armed forces and sacrificed for the country. I still talk to him and told him that while he's not my lil bro anymore he's still my friend and I'd be more than happy to recommend him for a bid if he decided to go back to college somewhere.

rufio · #12 06-22-2007, 03:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KyleMcGuire1983

(we're the only big/lil set on exec right now lol)

me, my big, and my little are all serving on exec right now as well. actually i think everyone in my family tree has served on exec. POWER TREE.

SigKapCoug · #13 06-22-2007, 04:46 AM

My big and I never ended up close, which is a pity, because she was my rush crush (and vice versa I think). We're both busy people and didn't have a lot of time to hang out, i think.

I adore my littles (I have two, plus an adopted one). We have a pretty good relationship. One had to leave the chapter, one is out of school for the semester, and my adopted one better come back in fall or there will be some serious beatings!

I still wish i could be a more-involved big, but in my old major (nursing) I was very busy with class. I've changed majors, so hopefully I have more time to spend with them now.

Munchkin03 · #14 06-22-2007, 05:08 AM

My big became a born-again Christian and denounced Greek life and our university soon after graduation.

My little deactivated.

I am closer to other women in my chapter now, who should have been my big/little! But, our chapter didn't push that as much as others did...

KyleMcGuire1983 · #15 06-22-2007, 07:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Munchkin03

My big became a born-again Christian and denounced Greek life and our university soon after graduation.

My little deactivated.

I am closer to other women in my chapter now, who should have been my big/little! But, our chapter didn't push that as much as others did...

That's a shame. One of my pledge brothers went out with an AOII for over a year who was a born-again Christian and she wound up graduating and embracing her sorority and university.

I suppose it all depends on how much decadence one can handle eh?