Conduct Becoming of A Sorority Girl

[adrie435]

I think the way my chapter did it back in the day is a good medium..
We wouldn't kick a woman out for becoming pregnant, but we would ask her to go alum or inactive (depending on if she was planning to keep the child or give it up). I know to some of you that means the same thing but we had very involved alumnae so it would work. Our perspective on it was that she is moving on to another partof her life and would need time and money to focus on a child rather than her sorority commitments. She would still be able to have a supportive community of sisters and still wear our letters and claim affiliation, but would be able to devote herself to raising a child (if she chose). A pregnancy is a very tough experience (especially unwed) and a member doesn't need to be thinking about paying dues or attending all kinds of mandatory events during it.

As for behavior.... We signed a code of ethics stating that we would follow all sorority rules & state and national laws or we could be held accountable by our chapter-- Last time I checked, drugs are still illegal and I'm pretty sure every chapter should have a blanket no tolerance rule on that.

[AlphaFrog]

Originally Posted by susan314

Though I am semi-surprised that a young woman with a baby would remain an active undergraduate member of the chapter. (Only because of the time and financial commitment involved in undergraduate sorority life - seems like it might conflict with child-rearing and school obligations.) Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that the sister should be kicked out either! I'm just thinking that - if it were allowable according to the terms of that group - it seems like that would be an appropriate circumstance to allow someone to take alumnae status early. She would remain a sister, be able to participate in events, yet not have the mandatory event or dues obligations that come with being an undergraduate member.

I can't even imagine trying to make all the chapter meetings, pay my dues, etc. while also raising/financially supporting a child and attending/paying for school. Yikes! I'm not suggesting the early alumnae status thing as a way to "hide" or "shame" a sister who happened to get pregnant while in school - rather as a way to possibly make her life a little easier.

I know who she's talking about, and I have to add, that this woman is not only a mom AND a sorority sister - she's the PRESIDENT of her chapter.
That is some woman for you. She must have all kinds of support, and I think that's great. Don't get me wrong, it IS completely unconventional, but still none the less amazing.

[Leslie Anne]

Originally Posted by 33girl

Do these women know when they accept their bids that they'll be forced to possibly alter their behavior as a condition of membership? I mean, groups and rushees are told not to talk about drinking or smoking or boys at rush, how could they know they'll have to conduct themselves in a certain manner regarding these things? Do you tell them that during rush or on bid night?

I think you learn a lot about what is acceptable behavior and what isn't during the New Member period. You either get with the program or you take a hike.

Originally Posted by 33girl

We've got a lot of chapters at small schools with untraditional populations. To ignore that fact and/or not embrace it there would hinder our recruitment abilities.

But, do you really want to be recruiting strippers and girls posing nude in magazines?

[33girl]

Originally Posted by Leslie Anne

I think you learn a lot about what is acceptable behavior and what isn't during the New Member period. You either get with the program or you take a hike.

That wasn't my question. My question is do the girls know what they're getting into before they pay fees for rush or sign a bid that binds them for a year to this group. Considering the poster said all the sororities on her campus are like this, I'm guessing the possible membership pool is pretty homogenous and they're not going to complain about Draconian rules.

Originally Posted by Leslie Anne

But, do you really want to be recruiting strippers and girls posing nude in magazines?

I'd rather have a stripper or a centerfold who is an active member and a loving sister than a born again Christian who blows off all her duties and continually hurts other sisters by her lack of support. But I guess my priorities are just messed up.

[Drolefille]

Originally Posted by Leslie Anne

"Gosh Darned"? Are you serious? Who these days uses the term "gosh darned"? Do you go to school in Mayberry?



Well, since you can only bet and I could only bet, it's a moot point.

I just think it's hypocritical. I see all the moaning about bad images of Greeks on this message board, yet people don't even think about their own behavior. (I'm not directing that at you, Drolefille. It's just in general.)

Um, the phrase I've heard most often is "Gosh Darned Independant" mostly because people choose to say that over saying "God Damned."

I can only bet because I'm not familiar with the entire history of the phrase, and neither are you.

I fail to see how saying GDI or even "God Damned Independant" equates bad behavior. Again, you keep ignoring that it is campus culture. I'm sure the guys who gave my mom paddles with GDI on them feel really oppressed right now.

[AChiOhSnap]

Originally Posted by 33girl

We've got a lot of chapters at small schools with untraditional populations. To ignore that fact and/or not embrace it there would hinder our recruitment abilities.

Would you kick your biological sister out of your house if she got pregnant? If not, then why would you do it to your sorority sister?

Certainly not.

I was more commenting on the fact that I would think a very young child at recruitment events would be more of a nuisance than anything!

Like I said, if it works for the chapter, more power to them.

[CZAXOTerp]

Originally Posted by Leslie Anne

I think you learn a lot about what is acceptable behavior and what isn't during the New Member period. You either get with the program or you take a hike.



But, do you really want to be recruiting strippers and girls posing nude in magazines?

Both of these girls made these career choices after being initiated... although I will say that the girl who ended up as Miss Oct. 98 was "known" when she went through rush.

[cuteASAbug]

Originally Posted by 33girl

I'd rather have a stripper or a centerfold who is an active member and a loving sister than a born again Christian who blows off all her duties and continually hurts other sisters by her lack of support. But I guess my priorities are just messed up.

And this is why I'm so proud to be your sister.

[Leslie Anne]

Originally Posted by 33girl

That wasn't my question. My question is do the girls know what they're getting into before they pay fees for rush or sign a bid that binds them for a year to this group. Considering the poster said all the sororities on her campus are like this, I'm guessing the possible membership pool is pretty homogenous and they're not going to complain about Draconian rules.

No, I suppose they don't know.

Originally Posted by 33girl

I'd rather have a stripper or a centerfold who is an active member and a loving sister than a born again Christian who blows off all her duties and continually hurts other sisters by her lack of support.

Actually, so would I. But I guess I was thinking that something in the middle might be nice.

[Leslie Anne]

Originally Posted by Drolefille

Um, the phrase I've heard most often is "Gosh Darned Independant" mostly because people choose to say that over saying "God Damned."

But that's exactly my point. You know what it really means and it's not a very nice thing to say. You're admitting it's negative by sugar-coating it.

Originally Posted by Drolefille

I can only bet because I'm not familiar with the entire history of the phrase, and neither are you.

Didn't I say the same thing? I admitted that I could only bet too. I'm not arguing with you here.

Originally Posted by Drolefille

I fail to see how saying GDI or even "God Damned Independant" equates bad behavior. Again, you keep ignoring that it is campus culture. I'm sure the guys who gave my mom paddles with GDI on them feel really oppressed right now.

I'm not ignoring that it's campus culture. What I'm doing is not buying it as an excuse.

[AOII Angel]

I don't think you have to go to such extremes...the hooker with the heart of gold versus a sister who is a christian backstabber! Most girls who choose not to follow the rules of the chapter are not good sisters. When you join a sorority you change a lot of things. Following the ideals of the group is the biggest change, so I don't think following little rules like acting like a lady in public to protect the integrity of your chapter is asking too much. Anyway, breaking the little rules wouldn't get you kicked out but would get you reprimanded gently. Furthermore, you can't tell rushees everything before they pledge...there is simply not time. That is one reason for the new member period...they learn whether or not the ideals of the sorority fit their own before making the situation permanent. By going through initiation you agree to follow the rules set forth by the group. Wow that was long winded!

[Leslie Anne]

Originally Posted by AOII Angel

Wow that was long winded!

But very well put!

[Drolefille]

Originally Posted by Leslie Anne

But that's exactly my point. You know what it really means and it's not a very nice thing to say. You're admitting it's negative by sugar-coating it.
Didn't I say the same thing? I admitted that I could only bet too. I'm not arguing with you here.


I'm not ignoring that it's campus culture. What I'm doing is not buying it as an excuse.

I don't sugarcoat it, that's just the phrase I've heard used most often


It's only an excuse if you think it's something that's wrong.
I don't acknowledge that the phrase is wrong, so I'm not excusing anything.
It's a colloquialism, not a literal damning of independants (like anyone here has the power to damn someone). And getting huffy when people use it, often because it was used on their campus in a completely positive way, is little more than elitism. Fine, don't use it, but don't look down at people who do. Stop getting offended on other people's behalf.

Stupid GDGs

[AlphaFrog]

Originally Posted by AOII Angel

I don't think you have to go to such extremes...the hooker with the heart of gold versus a sister who is a christian backstabber!

It's called an example....for argument's sake only. No actual strippers or christians were harmed in the making of 33's point.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by AOII Angel

I don't think you have to go to such extremes...the hooker with the heart of gold versus a sister who is a christian backstabber! Most girls who choose not to follow the rules of the chapter are not good sisters. When you join a sorority you change a lot of things. Following the ideals of the group is the biggest change, so I don't think following little rules like acting like a lady in public to protect the integrity of your chapter is asking too much. Anyway, breaking the little rules wouldn't get you kicked out but would get you reprimanded gently. Furthermore, you can't tell rushees everything before they pledge...there is simply not time. That is one reason for the new member period...they learn whether or not the ideals of the sorority fit their own before making the situation permanent. By going through initiation you agree to follow the rules set forth by the group. Wow that was long winded!

I don't find smoking in public or drinking on the dance floor (what?) to be "unladylike." I don't understand how following archaic rules of what is permissible for female behavior deepens your commitment to your sorority or strengthens relationships between women.

It makes me sad that you actually think "changing a lot of things" to be a part of a sorority is acceptable! Furthermore, I'm sure that at a lot of your chapters the things that you mentioned are in no way "ideals of the sorority." Those are things like leadership and integrity, not etiquette that varies widely from school to school (thank God).