We need help

[SqueaksAGD]

Two nights ago my chapter went crazy. People lost it. The details are fuzzy and no one really knows what happened. The really upsetting thing is we just finished I-week which was when our sisterhood was the closest. The "problem" is getting worse each day. No one is talking. The different personalitys in our house make it hard to communicate. We have many verbal communicaters and even more nonverbal people. How can we fix this I know it's going to be hard I just need outside perspective bc I am mentally exhausted about it. I have run out of ideas. I feel stuck.
Sisters please any ideas at all would be really appreciated.
Squeaks
New Member Coordinater
Alpha Gamma Delta

[ΑΓΔSquirrelGirl]

It's hard to know what to say because the situation isn't known...I've never seen something like that. Maybe go to each woman in turn and ask them what the heck their problem is, write it down, come up with a list, and have a HEAVILY moderated discussion on those grievances with those involved...and then address the whole chapter. How many girls are in the chapter?

[mu_agd]

Contact your chapter advisors. They will be able to help you.

[susan314]

I've seen similar things happen before. The important thing is to act quickly - the end of the school year is rapidly approaching. Sometimes sisters who leave on a bad and/or stressful note for the summer don't return to the chapter in the fall.

Its difficult to give specific advice without knowing exactly what happened. Of course, I can understand why you wouldn't want to post the details in a public forum. I would suggest contacting your advisors for assistance - most likely, they have seen and/or been through similar situations before and can offer words of wisdom.

I know that some undergraduate members try to keep internal situations from advisors and handle it themselves, but honestly - the advisors are there to help. If there are a lot of sisters disagreeing about something and mediation needs to happen, sometimes its better to have someone "impartial" like an advisor vs. having an undergraduate member who might be part of the stressful situation herself trying to mediate. (I'm a Chapter Advisor and recently the chapter went through some stressful situations - they tried to handle it "on their own," but there's so much that our advisor team could have done to try to help support them.)

Aside from that recommendation, I'd just say to do whatever you can to promote sisterhood - whether through an actual event, or just daily reminders/notes of encouragement, etc.

[SqueaksAGD]

Our advisors tried to help but.... The stories are skewed. The people involved have two different stories. The problem is that people are to hurt to try and listen to the people who hurt them you know? Ps not physically hurt emotionally. THe funny thing is the whole thing got started over dishes. HUH! You don't know how bad I just want to chalk this all up to end of the year stress and PMS.
Squeaks

[agdpearlgirl76]

I am a CA for a chapter that has had its share of communication differences. When this has happened, and it is chapter wide, I have asked all the members of the chapter to submit their list of issues to me via phone call, email, hand written, you name it and let them know this is their opportunity to get it all out of their systems.

If they chose to take part great but if they submit nothing then they have no reason to complain later since they had the chance to vocalize it. I then review everything, consolidate it and send out to the chapter before the next chapter meeting so they know what will be addressed. It is their goal to review the list and come up with solutions to the problem rather than continue to dwell in the problem. Only solutions are allowed during the discussions, we don't spend a lot of time getting into the weeds.

It has worked although sometimes it makes for long nights but that way everyone has the opportunity to contribute. I have also made the chapter work on a "two week issue rule". It means that if something happens they have two weeks to address it,resolve it, bring it an advisors attention or let it go since many of these conflicts are built up over time and snowball.

I hope that helps and keep in mind spring semesters are always a little long becasue everyone is looking forward to a little break. It will get better.

[susan314]

Originally Posted by agdpearlgirl76

It has worked although sometimes it makes for long nights but that way everyone has the opportunity to contribute. I have also made the chapter work on a "two week issue rule". It means that if something happens they have two weeks to address it,resolve it, bring it an advisors attention or let it go since many of these conflicts are built up over time and snowball.

I love that "two week issue rule" idea - hope you don't mind if I steal it...um, I mean borrow it.

I wish we'd had that when I was an undergraduate member - it would have spared us from having a lot of small petty conflicts snowball. But, the best I can do now is help the chapter I advise work on implementing it.