Internet romance or old fashison romance

Japera1920 · #1 01-13-2002, 08:47 PM

With today's techology, the way people meet today is becoming more and more inpersonal. How do you favor internet romance compare to old fashison romance?

SoTrue1920 · #2 01-14-2002, 02:09 AM

Romance is romance, no matter where it starts. You can decide not to take an internet romance to the next degree, just as you can decide not to take a face-to-face romance to the next degree.

Her Dopenezzz · #3 01-14-2002, 04:33 AM

The idea of people looking for Love on the Internet is NOT cute.

SoTrue1920 · #4 01-14-2002, 02:17 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Her Dopenezzz
The idea of people looking for Love on the Internet is NOT cute.

How is it different from going to clubs every weekend, hoping to find that "hookup"?

BluGoddess2 · #5 01-14-2002, 02:25 PM

Okay I 2nd that Soror I think looking for Love on the internet is Not all Good Trust me I had to Learn the Hard way I think people should be Patient and wait on God to send them Someone ~Be Blessed~~

PrettyKitty · #6 01-14-2002, 03:36 PM

I say to each their own. If it works for you than so be it, if not, then so be it. I know people who have found their husbands online. I know people who have found their husbands weird ways. I won't shoot down the method you find Mr. or Mrs. right...cause you neva know!

Her Dopenezzz · #7 01-14-2002, 06:02 PM

"How is it different from going to clubs every weekend, hoping to find that "hookup"?"

I'm not saying that it is entirely different or the same. I am responding to the Internet dating question saying that it is W-A-C-K. The idea that a person has to submit to typing on a computer in order to find love when he/she can't interact with people in "real" life, face to face is sad. That's usually the reason people claim to be looking for love online, right? No one is good enough for them, or no one is catching their fancy, blah blah blah. I'm not saying that you can't romantically connect with someone online if it just happens but the fact that you have to resort to E-dating to find the person you are going to spend the rest of your life with, in my opinion, is not cute.

Shelacious · #8 01-14-2002, 07:06 PM

Actually, I don't have an issue with properly conducted Internet romance. If you actually believe in the concept of a "soul mate", what are the chances that your soul mate (out of the 6 Billion people in the world), the ONE person with whom you connect on all levels, happens to be at your very same college, or your grocery store, or your church, or the local nightclub?

What I think the Internet has done is enabled people to look beyond their local geographic environment to find a mate. And how is that inherently suspect? Are there people who are loonies, freaks and weirdoes on line? Of course. There may even be more than you might talk to at the church, grocery store or college. But there are weirdoes and loonies, liars and thieves at those locations too (haven't we all met or dated a few of them?

).

I have seen many horror stories with Internet romance, so I think that it should be used with caution, as most other dating environments. I also have a sinking suspicion, though, that many folks who have had several horrible experiences on the Internet are some of the same ones who have a difficult time deciphering the maze in the old-fashioned romance world too.

I'm not knocking anyone's feelings on it. For example, I have traditionally had an issue with using the "personal ads" for finding a mate. However, since I've seen couples who are just as satisfied and happy using this method as those who've met through the local Walgreen or family friend, I won't negate the method either. I agree that you need to be patient, be positive and work on yourself before you work on anyone else.

Just my thoughts.

SoTrue1920 · #9 01-14-2002, 07:18 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Her Dopenezzz

I'm not saying that it is entirely different or the same. I am responding to the Internet dating question saying that it is W-A-C-K. The idea that a person has to submit to typing on a computer in order to find love when he/she can't interact with people in "real" life, face to face is sad. That's usually the reason people claim to be looking for love online, right? No one is good enough for them, or no one is catching their fancy, blah blah blah. I'm not saying that you can't romantically connect with someone online if it just happens but the fact that you have to resort to E-dating to find the person you are going to spend the rest of your life with, in my opinion, is not cute.

Hm.. well, when I posted a personal ad back in 1999, I was working full time, going to school in pursuit of a Master's degree full time, and doing freelance web design in my spare time. I wasn't desperate, nor did I have a hard time meeting anyone face to face. I was simply *busy* and didn't go to clubs (anymore). Most of the guys I met at school were just as driven as I was and didn't have the time to devote to nurturing a relationship either. I worked at a University and most of the people I worked with were women. I placed the ad as a lark, and pretty much forgot about the ad as soon as I posted it. Imagine my surprise when a guy who was 3000 miles away responded. Imagine my further response when we became friends.

We just celebrated our first anniversary last Saturday.

As far as it's being 'wack' in your estimation, I'm with PrettyKitty: if it works for you, great. If it doesn't work for you, that's cool too...but why be so judgemental about it? You've shown that it isn't your cup of tea, and that's perfectly fine. It's understandable that people might have issue with something that they've never experienced themselves. Still, to automatically assume that people who do go the online route are somehow more suspect than more traditionally paired couples is unfair.

Just because you met someone online it doesn't mean that you're incapable of sustaining any "face to face" relationships -- in order for an online relationship to go any farther, it has to become a face to face relationship eventually, doesn't it? Does it become less "wack" when the parties have moved to that next level?

I've said it before in this forum and I'll say it again: I'm all for sisters who take charge of their romantic destinies rather than sitting around, "waiting to exhale", hoping and wishing that their prince will come. (No offense meant to anyone to whom this applies) If taking charge means showing the initiative to put it in writing what you want in a partner and what you won't accept, then by all means, go for it.

Her Dopenezzz · #10 01-14-2002, 08:11 PM

Of course there are people who e-date and have success. Like I said, this is my opinion. I never said it was a universal Fact.

Further, I said if a person is on line for the purpose of searching for love then there is a problem [in MY OPINION]. If it just develops, that is different [in MY OPINION]. I believe you aren't distinguishing between the two situations and lumping what I said about one on both. That was not what I intended.

How can I have an informed opinion about something I haven't experienced for myself? Don't we all have opinions on everything? We gain these opinions based on more than just actual experience, we form them based on other's experience, information on it, etc. So, I don't know why I would have to e-date just to have a valid opinion here.

I'm being judgmental? I'd rather say I am stating a strong opinion.

I still think it's w-a-c-k. It's fine that you don't. I'm not trying to convince you otherwiZe.

Special1920 · #11 01-15-2002, 07:47 AM

I have met a few great gyus online. Did not start as a personal, just met in passing, and kept in touch. I also met a few jerks.
It's no different then meeting anywhere else.

zetafg · #12 01-15-2002, 10:33 AM

Well here is my 3 cents worth:

GO TO PHILLY GREEK!!!

How odd is it that on the tennis court at Philly Greek 2000 (I was a Neo), I met my SoulMate. No on-line conversation....No Clubbing...No grocery store/Church/Library/bus....just Philly Greek!

Now that doesn't mean that it will work for everyone.....basically to each his own. I understand what my Sandzzz is saying that it is w-a-c-k...I also congratulate Soror who recently celebrated her 1st anniversary with her "Personal Ad". Again, whatever works for you.

I'll share a story with you.....not about on-line...but the 800 number party line....used for the same thing. My relative used it for the purpose of meeting people.....mainly women. He met someone they hit it off....shared some personal things and then decided to get to know each other off the party line. Once they exchange numbers, a call was placed to the young lady house....GUESS WHAT???? She is his COUSIN!!!

Now if that wasn't a wake up call that you really can't trust these things then I don't know what is. We still tease them about that incident to this day!

Granted Sorors.....the same thing could happen face to face....We don't always know ALL of our relatives.

Just my 3 cents worth.