Bad Boys

[KAY10]

Can someone please tell me why women like bad boys??? You know, the thugs, losers, guys that mistreat women. Hey fellas have you ever heard this: "Oh he's cute and all, he's just too nice." What the hell.

[Scandia]

I could never reject somebody for being too nice. On the contary, I have cut off people once they got sardonic.

People do like other people who are "free spirits", who are not always doing everything by the book. Why? Because those who follow the rules to the letter are often very dull, boring, and can be controlling and not be able to cope with change.

But there is a difference between a free spirit and a bad boy/girl.

I do not know if by being "too nice" she may have meant that he was too phobic, weak, afraid of too many things and did not want to step out of his comfort zone. I did date somebody once who had too many fears and who did not have any activities with me or on his own. He was very nice and sweet- which was great and I would not have changed. But we did not have any more in common that I would have had with any other platonic friend. He liked me more than what I liked him- and he realized it.

[33girl]

This should go in the dating and relationships forum...it has nothing to do with Greek life.

[SAEalumnus]

Originally Posted by 33girl

This should go in the dating and relationships forum...it has nothing to do with Greek life.

Agree. Thread moved.

[OtterXO]

All women don't like bad boys (I'm defining bad boys solely as the guys who treat women like crap). Immature women and/or women with issues will be attracted to a guy who treats her in a manner that is less than she really and truly desires. It's usually a self esteem problem where the woman will put up with being treated badly because she thinks that's all she can get. So really, you should be happy those women aren't attracted to you because you're sort of dodging a bullet by not dating them (in a sense).

However, when guys complain about women not liking "nice guys" it's typically because the guy in question is a doormat or too eager to please the woman. There is a difference between being a nice, good guy and being a doormat.

[RU OX Alum]

some guy from the re-nnainance said "to get the angel, you must play the part of the devil" i think he was right. Levi. I think. Or Da Vinci or uh...Robert Bacon maybe. I don't know. Some bacon would be good right now.

[valkyrie]

Originally Posted by OtterXO

However, when guys complain about women not liking "nice guys" it's typically because the guy in question is a doormat or too eager to please the woman. There is a difference between being a nice, good guy and being a doormat.

EXACTLY. "Too nice" = "I'm just not that into him." Maybe he's a wussy or maybe she doesn't find him attractive.

[starang21]

women still want a man who's a man. soft/sensitive/cry-baby dudes don't get the girls.

[Scandia]

I do not like wimpy, co-dependent people period. I find people with inner strength, independence, and many hobbies/interests/activities to be better friends anyway.

And I do wish that people would stop using the word "nice" as a synonym for "doormat", "desperate", or "phobic". I could never be turned off by someone who is "too nice"- but if he is not my type, or if he is way too phobic, or if he is lazy or unintelligent or any other majorly bad qualities, then no amount of niceness can compensate for that.

[Jimmy Choo]

In terms of "bad boys", sometimes women like the mystique of a man who is a little edgy (think James Dean). But women who like "bad boys" as in abusive in some way do tend to have an issue. Whether it be self esteem or something from childhood that is a deeper issue than wanting to date the local daredevil.

[WVU alpha phi]

Originally Posted by KAY10

Hey fellas have you ever heard this: "Oh he's cute and all, he's just too nice." What the hell.

Wow, that's one of my favorite lines. I LOVE A CHALLENGE, and the second someone doesn't give me one by showing interest in me, I'm disappointed. It actually really sucks being like this, and right now I'm talking to a "nice guy" and I keep complaining to my friends that it's boring, and they're like, "no, he's normal, give him a chance."

[preciousjeni]

In my own life, I've come to discover that I liked being with guys who were nasty to me because I wanted the drama. It kept them at a distance so I could protect my heart. I now have a "nice guy" with whom I can really be vulnerable. That's what I wanted all along but I was just scared.

[KAY10]

Originally Posted by WVU alpha phi

Wow, that's one of my favorite lines. I LOVE A CHALLENGE, and the second someone doesn't give me one by showing interest in me, I'm disappointed. It actually really sucks being like this, and right now I'm talking to a "nice guy" and I keep complaining to my friends that it's boring, and they're like, "no, he's normal, give him a chance."

Sorry guy's I forgot to stick this thread in the dating section. I'm still new at this.

But anyway, that's my point. Women tend to do this at a young age, and then when they (not all) get older they want a nice guy who they can raise a family with. I can't have that. I just can't go behind a thug. If you're bored with this guy mabey you should go ahead and dump him, because you know if Mr. Bad Boy shows up you'll have interest in him.

[KAY10]

Originally Posted by Scandia

I do not like wimpy, co-dependent people period. I find people with inner strength, independence, and many hobbies/interests/activities to be better friends anyway.

And I do wish that people would stop using the word "nice" as a synonym for "doormat", "desperate", or "phobic". I could never be turned off by someone who is "too nice"- but if he is not my type, or if he is way too phobic, or if he is lazy or unintelligent or any other majorly bad qualities, then no amount of niceness can compensate for that.

Just because he knows how to treat a lady doesn't mean he's a wimp.

[Scandia]

Exactly. One thing has nothing to do with the other.

And a truly strong and courageous person will know how to treat others well.