which way to go???

[Imperial11]

I would NEVER tell my daughter that I wouldn't support her decision to join an organization other than DST. To me, that is just not right for a parent to do. I do not want my daughter to be a Delta just because I'm one. I want her to find an organization (if she is even interested in sororities) that suits her needs the best and that she will be productively involved in.

As far as writing checks are concerned, chances are she will be required to pay her own dues just like I'm doing right now. Sororities are lifetime commitments, so why not let her finance her commitment up front since she is going to have to do it for the rest of her life. My motto is: "Don't join/buy/commit to nothin' that you can't afford to pay for yourself!"

Okay, okay. Exceptions to the motto include: car insurance, property taxes, tuition and an occassional "must have" outfit !!!!!!!

[SeriousSigma22]

Sorors and friends,

I really believe that continued legacy is a matter of how sorors or member of the other three BGLOs train up their child. In my graduate chapter we have several older sorors who daughters are members of Sigma, however, we have three older sorors who's daughters went another way. When I asked them about their daughter's decisions they were upset, however, they admitted that they never took their daughters around other Sigma's daughters and they were inactive for about 10, 15 even 20 years.

I truly believe sorors that you have to expose your little girls to the sisterhood if you want her to share and experience the love of this wonderful sorority. I wouldn't seek out an organization even if my mother, aunts, cousins, sisters were part of that sisterhood and I didn't see them actively involved in their perspective organizations. I need to know what they are all about before I commit my time and energy to that organization! The moral of the story is stay active, stay positive, and bring your daughters around the sisterhood, make them rhoers, let them help out with the community service projects and there is a good chance that she or they will have the strong desire to go your way!!!

This is getting long, however, I don't have a child but if I did I would really not be upset with her because I didn't do my job raising her to really know SGRHO! And I'm still not paying for my child to go another way.

Serioussigma22

[mccoyred]

Great topic, Greek Sisters! I only have sons so I will not have to deal on this level.

However, what about the flip side of this situation? Could you truthfully admit if your daughter was NOT XYZ material? Would you still support her if she wanted to pledge your org? I know we all would like to hope that we instilled our values in our children but there are situations where the apple falls very far from the tree. Would you then support (and pay!) for her to join a diferent sorority?

[Deltaquarius]

Originally posted by mccoyred
Great topic, Greek Sisters! I only have sons so I will not have to deal on this level.

However, what about the flip side of this situation? Could you truthfully admit if your daughter was NOT XYZ material? Would you still support her if she wanted to pledge your org? I know we all would like to hope that we instilled our values in our children but there are situations where the apple falls very far from the tree. Would you then support (and pay!) for her to join a diferent sorority?

**********
Soror, my parents are WXYZ that's all I was exposed to until I was about 17 and about to go away to college. When I told my mom what my goal was at the age of 18, she took it well. She also knew that I meant it because....I am now a 35 year old neo and my parents gave me sooooo much support during my process. In her heart, my mom knew that DST was right for me even though it wasn't her organization of choice. Now we all have some good natured fun about my choice and their choices! I always say that "I chose best" and mom follows up with "for you"!

I have a daughter who is 11 years old and if she wanted to join another organization, then that's fine with me. I wouldn't want her to feel as if she had to join DST just to please me. Also, if I knew she wasn't DST material or that her reasons for joining were off-base then I admit that I wouldn't support her in her decision...to the point of not voting in her favor (if it's an alumnae situation). Flip side, if there's another organization that she feels better suited for, then I'd pay and support her whole heartedly!

[jojapeach]

Originally posted by SeriousSigma22
I truly believe sorors that you have to expose your little girls to the sisterhood if you want her to share and experience the love of this wonderful sorority. I wouldn't seek out an organization even if my mother, aunts, cousins, sisters were part of that sisterhood and I didn't see them actively involved in their perspective organizations. I need to know what they are all about before I commit my time and energy to that organization! The moral of the story is stay active, stay positive, and bring your daughters around the sisterhood, make them rhoers, let them help out with the community service projects and there is a good chance that she or they will have the strong desire to go your way!!!

Soror, I strongly agree with that statement. I already have my eye on my 12 year old niece, and I hope to expose her to the sorority and somehow getting her involved in a Rhoers Club. (She's in Macon, and I'm in ATL, so it'll be interesting to see how everything works out.)

mccoyred has given us even more to think about. Excellent question!!! If my child or niece were not Sigma material, I wouldn't support their attempts to become a member, but I would try to consult her. Maybe she's made some poor choices that have lead to poor outcomes in her life. That could be turned around with a little coaching and a little love. Now, if I would consider her a mediocre candidate for Sigma, I would think the same for any other organization. Another way to look at it is if my daughter/niece were just another prospective. If I saw j.a.p. at a Rush and I disliked too many qualities in her, I wouldn't think highly of her going for any organization because I have too much respect for all 4 NPHC sororities. Therefore, unless she could shape up, there would be no way I would financially support her pledging any sorority.

[SeriousSigma22]

Sorors and Greek Friends,

I see some of your points, however, the proof is in the pudding! Those sorors were inactive and did not expose their daughters to the sisterhood. I have been a Sigma since spring 83' and people haven't changed that much! Folks if you want them to go your way you have to plant the seed!

Serioussigma22

And I'm still not paying for membership into another organization! Love has nothing to do with financial support!

[lieutenant_dst]

That is an interesting question. In my family I have only seen DST. So when I was deciding I gave all the organizations a fair thought before deciding that DST WAS and ALWAYS will be right for me. If my daughter decided to go the other way and I had done my part by showing her the wonderful beauty of MY organization, then there would be nothing I could do at that point but support her emotionally. I agree with the others as for the financial support. My money only comes in Crimson and Creme

[DOVE1920]

Interesting topic...my mother is a Delta and my sister and I are Zeta's. She was and still is very supportive of us. I bought her a "ZPB Mom" keychain. I personally want my children to be either Zetas or Sigmas but I would not disown them if that was not in their hearts.

[PrettyKitty]

We had a situation in my chapter where the daughter of a Soror who pledged in our chapter was a hoochie mamma. We had to sit down with her mother and let her know that her daughter just did not exhibit the principle of Finer Womanhood. She understood and her daughter did not pursue membership into Zeta.

[Shelacious]

LOL@ Pretty Kitty for you all telling Soror that her daughter was a "hoochie mamma", . It's true though--just because someone is your friend or family member doesn't necessarily mean they should also be your sorority sister!

I agree with SeriousSigma22, because I feel that my daughters (if I have any) will be so exposed to the wonder and experience that is Zeta that they should want to be a part of that (pending interest and qualification). If my daughters go another way, I would feel like I didn't do enough to show them the Zeta Way. I would be supportive, but disappointed, for the most part. Now, any sons I might have, it won't matter to me as much...they can go Sigma, Alpha or Deke .

[loviest95]

Though my mom is my soror-- she never said anything but good things about other organizations.. and when I chose AKA she was thrilled--SHE still DID NOT PAY for IT!

My daughter is due in March of next year-- and I will support her any decision she makes-- of course I want a SOROR Daughter like my mom has but
I must let her little heart lead her

She will wear PINK and GREEN until I can't make her anymore

[RHOyal-Silence]

Originally posted by loviest95
...She will wear PINK and GREEN until I can't make her anymore

i feel ya on that one. my poor little girls (if i ever have any kidz) will be dressed to kill in RHOyal blue and Gold ribbons in their hair

[kizzie22]

Originally posted by loviest95
Though my mom is my soror-- she never said anything but good things about other organizations.. and when I chose AKA she was thrilled--SHE still DID NOT PAY for IT!

My daughter is due in March of next year-- and I will support her any decision she makes-- of course I want a SOROR Daughter like my mom has but
I must let her little heart lead her

She will wear PINK and GREEN until I can't make her anymore

Congratulations!!!!! Have you decided on a name?

[ClassyLady]

I know that I'm kind of "resurrecting" this topic, but I missed out on the interesting turn that this conversation took.

I must agree with SeriousSigma, parents do play a key role in planting the seed of interest. As I said, my mother is greek. She has been a member of her sorority for over thirty years and an active member in our area for over the past twenty. She is one of the charter members of her chapter. All of her friends are her sorority sisters. When me and my sisters were growing up, her GLO was all that we knew because she was soooo active in it. Every Saturday she was gone at a meeting or some community service event.

My sisters and I were in her sorority's youth groups. We played with her sorority sisters' kids. At parties, there were always the same familiar faces. To this day, I call my mother's sorority sisters my aunts and their children my cousins because when I was growing up, I really thought that they were. We were more like one large extended family rather than friends. I didn't even know that there were other sororities until I was thirteen. I thought that my mother's was the only one because that was all that I had been exposed to.

I say all of this not to toot my mom's horn, but to show what an influence she had on us. Both of my sisters are now members of her sorority.

On another note, my father is a Kappa. He stopped being active well before any of us were born. I didn't know that he was a member until I was in high school and I didn't know anything about Kappa Alpha Psi until I got to college to see for myself. The chapter at my school is the only one that I have ever been exposed to. If me and my sisters had been born boys, I really don't think that any of us would have been inclined towards a certain frat before entering college because of the lack of exposure. I know for myself that if I was a boy, I would not choose Kappa. The chapter at my school is suspended and since my dad is inactive, I would have no way of being exposed to it. I'd probably choose the frat that runs the yard.

[BlueReign]

Classy Lady, you said it all! "Exposure".

My daughter probably has been more "exposed" than she should be LOL! And my poor sons, they showed up at an Omega Rho Ceremony dressed in Blue! But like my Soror Serious Sigma said "you have to plant the seed!!" EEEEEYIIIIP!

Congratulations to you Loviest 95!