Tacky wedding "invitation" - Page 3

AGDee · #31 07-04-2006, 08:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AOII_LB93

I see where you are coming from, but as I had a destination wedding, we sent them to everyone(a whopping 70 people) because we didn't want to be rude. His family(most of whom he hardly sees) had a big enough problem that we did it abroad and we didn't want to offend them further by not including them. We tried your suggestion, but people were pissed anyhow.

I agree though with the OP...extra tacky. However, being that this is your dad's partner's son, it would be nice if your dad gives them something small. If the son doesn't know your dad well, he probably felt like he had to invite your dad as he is a partner - though he went about it in a tacky way, an invite or save the date card worded better would have been much more appropriate. We sent out save the date cards with hotel, airline and other information to people we knew were coming regardless (parents and friends who we knew were invited and wanted to go), and then just sent invites to other people.

/side bar

Ok does anyone else here think it extremely tacky that I was invited to a friend 's(well I thought she was a friend, guess not so much-but I digress) engagement party, but not her wedding? That's a big no-no in my book, and the etiquette book I have too, but anyway...opinions?

In my big Italian family, all aunts, uncles, cousins are considered "immediate family" and can't be excluded from any invite, so I would think of your husbands family as "immediate". It's different than inviting work partners of your parents to a destination wedding.

kddani · #32 07-04-2006, 09:05 AM

[QUOTE=PhoenixAzul]I never knew this was taboo...I could swear I always saw registry info on invites? hmm...i need to go back and look at my scrapbooks. [QUOTE]

Just because other people have done it doesn't mean it's right! It is most certainly considered tacky to include registry info or any mention of gifts (unless it is "No Gifts, Please") on your wedding invite. I would also agree with the asking for donations things- not everyone is going to agree with your cause.

A lot of people put registry info in the shower invite. Most of the people invited to the wedding should be invited to the shower (and no one invited to the shower should be left out of the wedding!!!! very tacky to invite someone to the shower and not the wedding, minus extenuating circumstances). Therefore most people will know where you're registered, and those that don't will either call and ask someone, or just give cash.

To ANY bride to be, getting married under any circumstances- go pick up Emily Post's Wedding Etiquette. http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/006...654545?ie=UTF8
It's a smart investment and will answer tons of your questions as you go along. I've taken to buying it for my friends that become engaged. It's a great reference.

Jill1228 · #33 07-04-2006, 09:47 AM

Ya know, weddings, funerals and family reunions bring out the fool in folx!

We had a destination wedding too but I would have never done anything so tacky as the "let us know if you are coming and we will send a real invite"

Why oh why do stores give you cards to put in your wedding invites to let folx know where you are registered! HOW Tacky! better yet, why are folx dumb enough to put them in the invites. It looks like you are trolling for gifts!

Tell your most gossipy friend and/or relative where you are registered...it will get around!

Quote:

Originally Posted by AKA_Monet

No matter what you do, somebody will ACK a fool 'cuz folks are getting married...

However, I do think it tacky to include a gift registry card in a "save the date" kind of thing for a wedding... Sounds like a "shotgun" wedding to me...

AOII_LB93 · #34 07-04-2006, 11:22 AM

Quote:

A lot of people put registry info in the shower invite. Most of the people invited to the wedding should be invited to the shower (and no one invited to the shower should be left out of the wedding!!!!
To ANY bride to be, getting married under any circumstances- go pick up Emily Post's Wedding Etiquette. http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/006...654545?ie=UTF8
It's a smart investment and will answer tons of your questions as you go along. I've taken to buying it for my friends that become engaged. It's a great reference.

I second that ...about the it being tacky to invite people to the shower and not the wedding.

I also second the etiquette book(I have the full deal one). As a joke, one of my friends gave me one for my shower because a guest brought another guest she shouldn't have who wasn't invited....but anyhow. She and I had a good laugh about it.

PA- theknot.com is a great reference tool. They talk a lot about all sorts of this stuff there, and if you are planning your own wedding they give a great timeline as to when it's good to have stuff done.

KSigKid - I hope you weren't referring to me. I've only ever been to one wedding that was bad, and I've not mentioned it on GC.

KSigkid · #35 07-04-2006, 12:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AOII_LB93

KSigKid - I hope you weren't referring to me. I've only ever been to one wedding that was bad, and I've not mentioned it on GC.

I wasn't referring to anyone specifically; I just think people on here, in general, tend to be very harsh on others about their wedding planning. If I was planning a wedding, this is the type of environment I would avoid (and did when my wife and I were planning).

honeychile · #36 07-04-2006, 01:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jill1228

Ya know, weddings, funerals and family reunions bring out the fool in folx!

LOL - This just might be one of the best lines I've ever seen on GreekChat!

texas*princess · #37 07-04-2006, 04:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wine&SilverBlue

My dad's work partner's son recently got engaged. In other words - "Hi we're going to have a destination wedding so we don't need to pay for a wedding and a honeymoon and we know you aren't really going to come so we're not even going to send you a real invitation. Instead we'll send these to everyone we know so we can fish for gifts without worrying about them coming to the wedding, and then the few people who come can get real invitations - that way we can narrow our costs and guest list but still milk everyone for gifts."

That's exactly how I would have interpreted it. Tacky, tacky!

PenguinTrax · #38 07-04-2006, 05:00 PM

Very tacky and very cheap. Common if you use the word as 'low brow' or 'lacking in class'.

33girl · #39 07-04-2006, 10:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kddani

Most of the people invited to the wedding should be invited to the shower

This must be a city thing. When I was growing up, showers were for bridesmaids, VERY intimate friends who for one reason or another weren't in the wedding party, and the family (aunts, grandmas, first cousins). I've been to showers that were bigger and more elaborate than some weddings I've been to, where pretty much every female attending the wedding must have been invited, and I just can't get over thinking it's way too much and on the "gimme gimme" side.

xo_kathy · #40 07-05-2006, 11:40 AM

This also sounds like a Save the Date to me. Unless you are positive they said "we'll send you an invite if you're interested" I wouldn't jump on the tacky bandwagon. These are very much the norm nowadays especially with a destination wedding.

Since my wedding was in my town, but a "destination" to many of the guests, I included a little card with their Christmas card that had a website with travel info. I also sent an invite to all those guests.

However, my parents wanted me to invite some people we were positive were NOT coming. I said I did not want to do that because I didn't want them to think they needed to give us a gift. If this couple did put something like "let us know if you need an invite", perhaps they were actually looking out for their guests so people wouldn't feel the need to send a gift if they were not attending the wedding.

amanda6035 · #41 07-05-2006, 12:05 PM

I am a bridesmaid in a wedding this coming weekend. We had the bridal shower 2 weeks ago and when I sent the invites out for the bridal shower, I included where the couple was registered....

33girl · #42 07-05-2006, 12:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by amanda6035

I am a bridesmaid in a wedding this coming weekend. We had the bridal shower 2 weeks ago and when I sent the invites out for the bridal shower, I included where the couple was registered....

That's different - you are giving the shower, not the bride/couple.

adpiucf · #43 07-05-2006, 12:29 PM

No offense intended, and to each his own, but I still think any formal registry mention on an invitation or website looks tacky. To me, it comes off as looking like the couple is milking its guest list for gifts. Which is the whole point of all the hoopla, I suppose.

BetteDavisEyes · #44 07-05-2006, 02:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AOII_LB93

Ok does anyone else here think it extremely tacky that I was invited to a friend 's(well I thought she was a friend, guess not so much-but I digress) engagement party, but not her wedding? That's a big no-no in my book, and the etiquette book I have too, but anyway...opinions?

It's extremely tacky & beyond rude. A few years ago, a girl I've known since high school got engaged. She invited me everywhere including shopping for stuff for her new house. Though I wasn't in the wedding party, I (stupidly) assumed I'd be invited to the wedding b/c we had grown so close in the year prior to her wedding. After months of parties & gifts, I was dismayed to learn that I was not invited to her wedding. Her explanation was that it was for immediate family & a few close friends. I would have accepted that IF I hadn't already known that these few family & friends totalled 300 people.
It's just tacky & rude. Needless to say, we didn't talk so much after that & only recently has she started talking to me again. Ironically enough, she's pregnant & is itching to talk about her pregnancy & her future baby showers.

AOII_LB93 · #45 07-05-2006, 06:01 PM

[QUOTE=BetteDavisEyesIronically enough, she's pregnant & is itching to talk about her pregnancy & her future baby showers.[/QUOTE]

Ugh...she probably wants lots of presents from you, but won't actually invite you to the showers or anything.

Yeah, I was a bit put off to say the least, I did the classy thing and sent a nice gift anyhow. I'll be polite when I see her, but you can bet that I will not go out of my way for her anymore.