Yeah I said it, I bet you won't hit me...

[KAPPAtivating]

To the Miami Heat...

I am glad you all won last night, but I'mma need y'all to get ya ihst together! A win is a win, but dayum! If you play another game and have all those dayum turnovers, I am going to boycott the team. Dwayne Wade can't do everything(although he is Superman). Now let's get this isht together and spank some @ss

[jitterbug13]

Wow!!!! I just wrote a simular letter on the Open Letter thread!!!!

[marquise1911]

I feel u on that one! My blood pressure is still up!

[lil_sunshine]

To Kim:

I have a few questions and comments for your hearing impaired azz:

1. Why do you insist on contacting me whenever I don't call you back?
2. Why, when you can't get me at home, do you call my JOB?
3. Why did you proceed to call me on Monday and tell me that over the weekend you did your laundry ALL BY YOURSELF?
4. Do you REALLY think I give a $h!t that you did your laundry ALL BY YOURSELF b/c I wasn't there to do it for you b/c half the dayum time you can't be fcuking bothered doing all of your laundry?
5. Do you REALLY think that I wanna talk to you after you berated and belittled me, telling me that you're fly and all the b!@tches you fcuk with on your job are fly and you don't fcuk with bum b!@tches?

I think you know the answers to questions 4 & 5, so I won't answer them for you. Also, you must know that although you consider me your "twin" and best friend, the feeling's DEFINITELY NOT mutual. Why, you ask? B/c you have a big azz mouth and you talk about everyone, including me, behind their backs. My best friend is the mother of my godchildren and the root to my tree. You, on the other hand, are merely a leaf that is only around for a season before you blow away in another direction. Now go blow the fcuk away and leave me the fcuk alone!!!!!!

[marquise1911]

^^^DAYMN!!! Now dat's some anger

[lil_sunshine]

I think it's more cynicism and sarcasm than anger. But she just won't stop calling me. She's like a bad rash- she won't go away.

BTW, if you think I exuded anger, you shoulda seen Kim all up in my grill yelling at me like she was my drill sergeant.

[JazzyRho]

Dear godson...

I am soo thru with you. Your trifiling arz will never get another penny from me. Why did your mom have to call you about six freaking tickets that you have totally ignored...2 being moving violations in the amount of $700 and $650 respectfully...WHY? You know why...because you are 22 with the mind of a 4 year old...nikka u knew you got those tickets..why didn't you just pay them? that's why your mom is going to take the Land Rover back..BECAUSE YOU DO NOT DESERVE IT! youz a trifiling somthin...and then when she told you to send her the money..you stated that your job FORCED you to quit! R U THAT STUPID. Fool u were fired!!! If your shift starts at 4 and you get there at 6..3x's out of the week...Guess What? naw, better yet..don't guess....

Do you think your mom moved to Vegas for her new job...NOPE! she moved because she was trying to get away from your sorry arz...now you're really cut off and I ain't giving you a red cent ....NOW WHATCHA GONNA DO WHEN THEY COME FOR YOU...Just like your ol stupid arz Daddy....with his 6 kids with different women..without a job! I could go on and on..but you are my godson..but uz a stupid nikka! I don't like it when my girl calls me crying about your sorry behind. She has been my dawg since the 1st grade and I'll be damned if i let you drive her insane.. NIKKA - GET YOUR ISH TOGETHER..now! and stop always calling my house asking for Danielle...i know she's your godsister..but Back the hell up! mkay.

i just want you to know that I still love you..but i told your mom to cut your arz off at the ankles..that means no more money...no more paying for your cell phone..no more paying for half of the rent...and another thing...STOP SMOKING WEED BOY..IT'S MESSING UP YOUR BRAIN CELLS.

Sincerely,

your godmommy

[marquise1911]

Originally Posted by marquise1911

2 My Sister: I know that you have issues with what's going on in my life right now. You don't agree with the fact that I have an active social life while you're stuck at home. Now ain't Karma a b*^&h. Now my car is out of commission and I have to share one with you. So now you use that to control my social life. I wanna play cards with they guys, but you claim to be getting your hair down @ 10:30pm. You make me pay for gas that I never get to use. I've been trapped in the house so long that I've gotten several shades lighter. My friend probably won't recognize me when my car finally gets fixed. Your husband has a car of his own and yet you won't use it. You rather make me suffer. Well I'll see about that.

I had to go Part II on ur @$$: We argue everyday, u went from being my closest consult, to my biggest pain. So u repo'd ur car from me, because I went to a b-day bash. I'm not gonna lie when u called me @ 11:30 pm to tell me u had to run an "errand" after I did everything u asked me, I came to bring u da car back. But I saw ur husbands car sitting in the driveway and decided to KIM. Me and my friends had a ball that night while u sat home listening to Waiting to Exhale tracks and ignoring ur husband's ex-wifes stalking phone calls. So now I have to get on the bus, until u calm down. It's ok. I'm gonna do what I gotta do. But when $hit comes back around, know that I'm gonna let it rain on u. Don't be mad bcuz I have a life and I'm not down and out even though u think I should be. Get one of ur own, then u'll know what it's like.

P.S. Get me mad enough so I can tell u about yourself.

[Professor]

Things you would say if you wouldn't get arrested, shot, fired, or prosecuted!!!

Now that I have a new job, I want to say:

You MF's have given me hell for nine years. I've worked my a** off you still wanted more. Now you want me to stay - - - only when hell freezes! SEEYA

[lil_sunshine]

To my family members and outsiders:

IF ANY OF Y'ALL NUCCAS UPSET ME OR MAKE ME CRY ON TUESDAY, I WILL BE FREELY ADMINISTERING PIMP SLAPS (verbal and/or physical, whichever one applies to the individual) AND THERE WON'T BE NO TURNING BACK ONCE I DO!!!!!!! 'Memba dat!

[KAPPAtivating]

To my two cousins:

This is it! I am finally through with the two of you! You all never show up at family functions except when somebody has a gift for your children! At christmas you come in the house empty handed and leave with full stomachs and boxes and boxes full of gifts for your kids. Whenever something goes on in the family you whine and complain that no one ever tells you anything and that everyone is against the two of you~WRONG! How do you expect someone to tell you something if you never call, come around, or check on anyone?

Well this is it! I am finished with you two biatches! My grandmother is going through a very serious illness right now and neither one of you biatches can call and check on her because you are mad at somebody else in the family? I don't think so! Like I said, this is a time when we should be coming together for her, and you all decide that now is the time for you to vent your frustrations with other family members and decide you don't want to be associated with us! FVCK you too! I wish I could pay somebody to whoop y'all @sses! Karma is a biatch...remember that!

[teena]

To my boss

You have managed to pluck my nerves. It appears that you are following my every move to find fault. Everyone knows that I am a very easy going- go with the flow type of person. But what ya'll dont know is I have a very ugly side. I call her Tara. Please dont make me put Tara on you. Thank God I have options.

To my mother

I love you soo much. But you are a real trip. Why did you accept a job with a company and not know what you are getting paid? Now you are making 1/3 of your former salary. I just dont get you sometimes. I really hope you dont think I am going to pick up the slack on your mistake. I will help. But dont count me as a part of your income. I do have a life of my own.

To my brother

You are crazy for real. You have never paid me back any money that I have loaned you. I know that you have been calling me getting all friendly because you want something. I meant what I said when I told you that I am going to love you from afar. I'm sorry that you counted me as a part of your income. Get a job and a life.

[marquise1911]

To myself:
Learn to be yourself. Stop being so bossy because you feel dat u have to be tuff. I know ur the baby in the dept. and the old farts treat u like you have to work twice as hard to prove why the hell u are here. It wasn't that suit u paid way too much for that got u this job. It wasn't ur good looks and flirting that got u this far. They might have helped, but that's not why u are always weeks ahead of ur deadlines and never miss a detail. U come up with new ideas and have pretty much revamped the whole system here. DO DA DAMN THANG BOY!!! Don't let granny "I've been here too long" and daddy "Damn I hate dat nigga" get to u. Again. DO DA DAMN THANG BOY!!!

[PerfectVerse06]

Originally Posted by marquise1911

It wasn't that suit u paid way too much for that got u this job. It wasn't ur good looks and flirting that got u this far. They might have helped, but that's not why u are always weeks ahead of ur deadlines and never miss a detail.

Actually, it was your degree from PerfectVerse and Lil_Sunshine's University of Ghetto Pimpology that got you this far.

'Raise your styrofoam cup
If you don't give a '

[lil_sunshine]

Originally Posted by PerfectVerse06

Actually, it was your degree from PerfectVerse and Lil_Sunshine's University of Ghetto Pimpology that got you this far.

'Raise your styrofoam cup
If you don't give a '

Dayum right!!!! Ya betta reco'nize!!!!