How soon?

[AKA2D '91]

How soon, in your opinion should a person get married after their spouse has passed on? Is there necessarily a certain "time" that it is okay for the widow or widower to "tie the knot" again?

Does remarrying relatively right after the loss determine ones love for their spouse?

What are your thoughts?

I've known someone who was married almost one year to the day that his wife passed away.

My father passed away in 1983 and my mother hasn't looked for anyone AT ALL! LOL

[CkretCrush8]

I truly believes that it depends on the individual. If someone happens to become involved with someone immediately after death or further away then basically it is up to their emotions, their feelings, their desires, their needs, their wants. I can't put a restraint on the time that a person should wait because it really is up to the person.

Does remarrying relatively right after the loss determine ones love for their spouse?

I believe that remarrying doesn't determines one's love for their previous spouse, especially in a situation revolving around death. Some people believe that their spouse would have wanted them to carry on with life and be happy, even if that means remarriage.

[darling1]

i do believe that it depends on the person and the type of relationship that existed between the couple. i am inclined to feel that relationships that last for a significant number of years would find the remaining spouse a little more hesitant to immediately go out and have another relationship. but people deal with death differently and it is possible that the customary year grieving process is sufficient. some people don't believe in dwelling and choose to move on.

[The Original Ape]

Time is Subjective. A long time to one person isn't to the next.

How long after a death should a spouse wait depends on what the deceased meant to the survivor: how dependent on the deceased they were, how deeply in lovc they were, whether children were involved, and what roles they played in the marriage are but a few factors that determine this. Now after the survivor has accepted the death, the healing process begins. How much time passes where the survivor is ready to entertain others is a matter of individuality.

[PositivelyAKA]

i think it depends on the relationship, some are not as close as outsiders might think, making it relatively easy to move onto another relationship, i do think the longer the relationship and more in love the harder it would be to step out that soon. but to each his own.

[korkscru]

I agree that it depends on how your relationship was with the deceased spouse and you on a personal note. But I do believe that ANYONE going through that should give themselves TIME and SPACE before venturing into another marriage.

Personally, I don't think that I could EVER marry anyone else. My husband and I are truly soulmates and I believe that there will NEVER be another for me. I would probably mourn him for a very long time if he were to pass (God forbid). That's something that I don't want to even THINK about.

[ClassyLady]

That's a tough one. I really believe that it depends on the widow(er)'s ability to cope with the loss of a loved one. I know some people who were able to find another spouse relatively quickly and others who never even looked.

Also, I know of marriages that were only a second from divorce when one of them dies. In those situations, the surviving spouse will probably have no qualms about remarrying soon after the other's death.

[pearl608]

A friend of mine died suddenly after a surgery about a month ago. 3 weeks to the day of her death, her husband sends me a TYPED letter that was obviously run off on a copier about his upcoming nupials to a lady who was his deceased wife's nurse for a short period when she was sick over a year ago. He considers them (himself and the nurse) married "in the eyes of God," and hopes that I (and whomever else he sent that letter to) will bless his marriage to the nurse (They are legally getting married in February.) Now am I confused or something?