BET Down Low Special

[DSTinguished1]

By the way I did some Ohio State representation. (OhioCantur and Proverbs 31)

That church was something else too with that gay pastor. He was cute but the church was very "gay" for a lack of a better word. I don't know it just did not settle right with me.

[lovehaiku84]

I missed it the first time around but I definitely want to watch it. Although I am sure that it will be informative, I will always have a problem with the DL issue being seen as something that is only a problem in the black community. White men, and men of all other cultures are involved in the same kind of activity. I think that it's wrong that their women do not have to fear them and be suspicious of them in the way that we now have to where our men are concerned. It is great that we are being proactive about getting the issue out there. I feel that there is more than enough information about this issue out there already. I think that the time has come to shift focus to solving the problem and irradicating (sp?) HIV/AIDS from our communities.

[jubilance1922]

Originally posted by lovehaiku84
I missed it the first time around but I definitely want to watch it. Although I am sure that it will be informative, I will always have a problem with the DL issue being seen as something that is only a problem in the black community. White men, and men of all other cultures are involved in the same kind of activity. I think that it's wrong that their women do not have to fear them and be suspicious of them in the way that we now have to where our men are concerned. It is great that we are being proactive about getting the issue out there. I feel that there is more than enough information about this issue out there already. I think that the time has come to shift focus to solving the problem and irradicating (sp?) HIV/AIDS from our communities.

But how can we shift to eradicating HIV/AIDS when people continue to spread it?

[DPiece7]

Originally posted by jubilance1922
I died when Terry said "F*ck him and his love"

So did I. She really hit the nail on the head when she said these men should be tried for attempted murder. i was like go 'head terry!

i actually watched this show with my man-friend and as i got more and more hostile seeing the many women infected with HIV and AIDS because of their coward, lying, cheating, on the low boyfriends/fiances/husbands, he said, "why are u so worked up, i mean a man can bring std's home from cheating on you with a female." and yes that is true indeed, but the difference is that men are more likely to have UNPROTECTED sex when cheating with men than with other women. what is so devastating about this ish is that because these men are in denial about their sexual intentions, they dont use condoms when having sex with men because "bringing condoms would be like admitting that they went there to have sex with men." im like man, BUMP THAT!!! so you're gonna put your life and the life of your loved ones on the line because you're too chicken shit to admit that you like men?!?!?! its bad enough that you're cheating (and with a man at that!) but then you're bringing ish home too?!?! oh hell no...

uggh!!! this topic is so frustrating....

[AKA_Monet]

Originally posted by DPiece7
...he said, "why are u so worked up, i mean a man can bring std's home from cheating on you with a female." and yes that is true indeed, but the difference is that men are more likely to have UNPROTECTED sex when cheating with men than with other women. what is so devastating about this ish is that because these men are in denial about their sexual intentions, they dont use condoms when having sex with men because "bringing condoms would be like admitting that they went there to have sex with men."...so you're gonna put your life and the life of your loved ones on the line because you're too chicken shit to admit that you like men?!?!?! its bad enough that you're cheating (and with a man at that!) but then you're bringing ish home too?!?!

I dunno know about that... Men having more unprotected sex if they have sex with other men... I think that no matter who they are have sex with, they are having it unprotected, regardless of the gender. These men are selfish creatures either way. They develop intimate relationships with people that are misleading, and in denial fraught with dishonesty, then add cheating on the other person...

A man who lies generally will get caught in their lying... Same goes for a woman... The oh what webs we weave when we first try to deceive...

Okay, I KNOW I have been gullible and plain stoopid that I actually did think I fell of the turnip truck and was born yesterday... But, is it really that bad that we cannot tell when a man's lying to us? Because, I catch my husband in a minute if his story does sound straight--and I am judging by his actions, too. And if he was being freaky while he should be at work, then there would be "thangs" that would be obvious to me... Every move he makes, comments he says, smells, simplicities...

I mean, I know when a man has cheated on me, I know what that looks like when I was dating... Stories do not align properly and cut offs get made when I start to ask questions... As I got older, I was the one to break off the relationship if I thought it was shady. That was my defense mechanism I taught myself...

But my husband now would have to be a sheer genius in player skool pimp style--when I know he's a geeky nerd and folks at work would be more than happy to tell me all about his biness if he was actin' a fool... He'd lose too many jobs if he was actin' a fool...

Am I being naive or slow?

[ZetaStorm]

The BET show was very interesting. It's a topic that really needed to be addressed. There is a lot of sleeping around going on. I must say living in Atlanta taught me a lot. I could not believe how many bi-sexuals there were. And you really could not tell. These were some thuggish looking guys. I'm not even sure it's all about being homosexual. Some of these people (both men and women) are doing some of everything and after awhile when you've done all you can what do you do next? Experiment with the opposite sex? A lady I befriended was devastated when she found out that her son was into animals. Yes I said animals. He had porno on everything-men,children,she'males....

I was sitting in the library and these group of high school kids were having a discussion about one of the girls at the table who took another girl as her prom date. The other girls were asking her if she was gay and she said no. She said she had been with guys and she didn't see anything wrong with being with a girl. She talked about the first time she had sex with a girl. I was sitting at the next table like, WTH?

Then there was the incident of a club that got busted for swinging. (You might as well call it an orgy.) How do you and your husband go to a club to have sex with multiple partners? There are women with women and men with men and any other combo you can think of. What I gathered from all of this is that you have to protect yourself because you can't rely on your partner to look out for you. You can't say for certain what a person is or is not doing. You have to ask questions and get in people's business for real. Some of these people are never 'coming out' because they don't consider themselves gay. They just feel they can sleep with whoever and they don't need to tell you anything.

I had discussions with guys who moved to Atlanta from other states and I was surprised that they were saying they were scared of the 'females' there. Some of the females used to be men who have had sex changes and you really can not tell. No Adam's apple, no male voice. I'm telling you it's a new day and people are getting crazy for real. I mean if you're gay how hard is it to find someone else who shares your lifestyle? All of the lying is killing people, literally. My advice to both men and women is to keep your eyes OPEN. It might save your life. Sorry for the length but I'm telling you the dating scene is crazy.

[nonchalant]

There is so much to respond to in this thread. Due to that fact, I will not quote anyone. People are going to do what they want to do to be happy. What we have to do at this point is the same thing. Life is too short to settle for just anything. I'll elaborate on the statement throughout this post.

For anyone that lives in Atlanta, it is considered a gay mecca. I know I've touched on this in another thread too. I reside in Atlanta. It is a great experience to open one's eyes to the gay lifestyle. Over half of Midtown is gay from people that work, reside, or just hang out there(male and female). To have gay friends is also a great experience. Hang with them. Go out with them. That way you're able to pick up on a gay males dress, lingo, body language, etc. I've seen so much in clubs from drag queens to hardcore men. I've seen men skee-wee and oo-oop and chant and stroll against one another. I've seen men dancing like the dancing girls at the football games challenging each other. There are security guards at these clubs that claim they are straight(and could be) that try to talk to you on a dating level. My thing is they could be working at a straight club, but to each his own. Experiences like these and advice from sincere homosexuals will cut down on some naïve moments. A lot of men that constantly talk bad about gay men just because fool around with men. Men that feel they have something to prove by constantly bringing up dating situations they've had with women and discussing them regularly in front of females that could careless???Gay. Any real man that's comfortable with his sexuality and himself has no reason to bash anyone for being gay nor make excuses for his sex life. Let's live and learn.

Love yourself first before anyone else. Never settle for ish. If something doesn't feel right, don't do it. If something doesn't sound right, don't believe it. That's called instinct. People will only do what you allow them to do. With sex, no one can make you not use a condom. I don't care how long you've been with someone. Until you've been tested together and have seen each other's results, please use condoms. If your partner does not want to go through routine check-ups with you, they must have something to hide. I know I can't be with someone I can't trust. Don't hold on to things you know aren't going to work. Staying making excuses the whole time causes more hurt in the long run. Overall, prevention lies within one's self. In the long run, you can depend on no one but yourself. In the end, you can be mad at no one but you and the person(s) that caused you this pain. Knowing is understanding.

Also, what gets me is people that don't want to admit a lifestyle change. You can't say you're a straight man but you like to sleep with men. That makes you gay and in denial. If you sleep with women too, that makes you bi-sexual. That's just always been funny to me.

Also, it is not accepted to be gay if you are from Jamaica or the Bahamas. I have gay friends from both places that live in the US now, and they have all discussed how bad it's talked about. None of their families know about their lifestyle. Their parents still reside on the islands.

[lil_sunshine]

Originally posted by jubilance1922
I died when Terry said "F*ck him and his love"

SO DID I!!!!! It was hilarious.

But I did notice that she paused for a few minutes while she pondered a response to the comment. As I observed her mannerisms after that comment, she 1) stared into space, 2) covered her face as to not show her reaction (I think she shed a tear over what was), 3) maintained silence like she was replaying the entire sordid ordeal in her head: *debating with her devil and angel* He says he still loves me
Devil: But he cheated on me with another man
Angel: He still loves me
Devil: He endangered your life by sleeping with men
Angel: He still loves me
Devil: F*ck him and his love!!!! You could be HIV positive right now!

Albeit, her final comment.