Are You A Godparent?

[AKAtude]

ClassyLady's thread got me thinking about godparents and their responsibilities. I'm not a godparent, but if I ever become one I'll know what to and not to do. My godmother was the perfect example of what NOT to do. For the life of me, I don't know why she was chosen to begin with. It got to the point where I didn't even invite her to my wedding because she just wasn't a part of my life any longer.

For those of you who are godparents, do you take your responsibilities seriously? What do you think your responsibilities are? Share any stories or comments.

[DreamfulOne]

I became a Godparent at 17. My Godson was born the year before I went to college. I was very close to his mother's sister who is 10 years older than me. Her sister (my god-son's mother) is 3 years older than her. Why I was chosen as a Godmother I still don't know...but i'm glad I was. I love my Godson...although, since being away at school, I only see him during the holidays and other vacations. I take my role as Godmother very seriously (from his birth to now). I was very active in his life as a baby and although I'm away, I know how he is doing (in all areas). I spoiled him rotten as a baby. I had him all the time...now that I'm away at school and paying rent and tuition, I can't spoil as much. But as soon as I have it...he's going to get it...

Besides the fact that I'm a minister and have strong moral values, played a role in her decision. I take him to church w/ me when I go home.

There is more that I want to do w/ my Godson but due to my financial standing now...i'm not able to.

[ClassyLady]

Well, as you know, I just became I godparent. In high school, there were plenty of people who said that they were godparents, but very few of them took the title seriously. That was probably because they did not understand exactly what it meant.

I was always taught that the godparent is the one who will gain custody and full parental responsibility if anything ever happens to the birth parent and they are unable to care for the child. I am more than willing to do that for my godson. I have been approached by people that I barely knew to be godmother to their children and I had to refuse. I cannot just take on that type of responsibility for just anyone and their child.

My godson's mother has several sisters who are in their late twenties and early thirties. But, none of them are the least bit responsible. They never live in one place for more than a few months, several have to strip to pay the bills, they date drug dealers and thugs, and just are not the type of people that you would choose to be parent to your child if you had to. My best friend chose me because she knew that I would be more able to give the baby stability if I was ever needed to.

[Beauty08]

I am not a Godparent, but my best friend is my daughter's Godmother. Ya'll she is GREAT!! She is so great that she scares me sometimes! I was a fairly young mother when I had my daughter and my bestfriend stepped in and helped out when it was needed. She sets aside time all the time for my daughter. They have special holiday activities that only they participate in such as carving the pumpkin at halloween, decorating the Christmas Tree and of course having a special part at my daughters birthday parties.

Not only is she good at those things but she is a great spiritual leader for my daughter. Above anything else, I feel like this is the most important factor in being a Godparent.

[#1 Leading Lady]

I agree with you AKAtude about wondering why that particular person was chosen to be my Godmother. I recently saw my "supposedly" Godmother at my Grandfather's funeral and she walked up to me and asked me, " Do you know who I am?" and I said, " You are "supposed to be Godmother, but anyway Aunt so and so I know who you are."

Matter of fact I am about to call my mother and ask her WTH she was thinking when she chose her to be my Godmother.

On the other hand, my son's Godmother is FANTASTIC. My step-sister is on point. My sister lives 2 hours away. My mom called her at work (she is a hair stylist) and told her I was in labor my sister stopped bumper curling, weave twisting and was in the delivery room when my son popped out. She gets him on at least 2-3 holidays and 2 weeks out of the summer and calls him once a week. I love her for being a good sister and a GREAT Godmother.

[Miss. Mocha]

I am the Godmother of a twin. Not a set of twins, but one of the twins.

I take my responsibility very serious. He's little now (3), but I'm always concerned anout his present, and his future. I have started a college fund for him (along with my own daughter's), and I have started having savings bonds sent to him.

My biggest hope for him is that he always knows that I'm there, and that he can talk to me about anything.

I tell my daughter all of the time that there are going to be things that she will feel that she can't talk to me or her father about. I explain to her that's why I have brought other adults into her life (such as her own Godmother, my friends, my cousin, and so on), so that she can talk to SOMEBODY, and not be out in life guessing about important issues.

[AbundantlyBlessed]

Good topic Akatude!!

I am also a godparent. My husband and I are the godparents of a dear friend of mines son (he's 8) and of my cousins daughter (she's 11mths). I take the role VERY seriously. It means so much more than just buying things and taking them here or there. When I was younger, I didn't take it as seriously as I do now, but I do sit back and think, if I were to become pregnant right now, who would my husband and I choose to become godparents of our child? Sadly, I don't really know. It would have to be someone that I could entrust my child's COMPLETE well-being with if we were no longer here. How are these people spiritually, emotionally, financially..etc. It's truly a tough decision to make, but I don't think enough people take it as seriously as they should.

Then on the other hand, as a godparent I question my role too. My husband and I receive phone calls from our goddaughter's mother with request's of picking her up from the babysitters at least twice a week because she works 2 jobs and is a single mother. I would go out of my way to help her, we both will at times, but sometimes I feel as if SHE'S using the "godparent thing" as a means of getting us to do certain things. I guess I'm kinda confused too as to where the responsibility ends...but I love child, so I assist even when I don't want to

Sorry for the length of the post...

[Professor]

Happy Thanksgiving to All - - -
I became a godparent when I was 14 or 15. A female friend of mine has a sister that became pregnant during her senior year in high school. Kareem was born and I was always at their house. Babies, kids and children have always gravitated towards me and Kareem was no different. I remember pushing his stroller around the neighborhood at 14/15 while caring for him. When I was a senior in HS Kareem was my class mascot. When I was a sophomore in college he lived with me for a year. Today, my baby is not so little. Kareem graduated from my HS where his picture is now beside mine on the wall of fame. I am so proud of him!!! Every time I see him I still envision the little boy that use to hold my hand as we walked. The other thing that stands out is that Kareem always says my entire name before asking a question. He never just says Michael. My baby is now a man and a sophomore at NCA&T on football scholarship - Go #74 - The Man!!!!

[AKA2D '91]

Yes, I am a Godparent. I have 2 girls and 1 boy (my nieces and nephew). Today is my niece's 5th birthday. So, you know I had to do my duties as an aunt/Godparent and purchase her her stuh.

I take my role seriously, since I am the children's aunt/Godmother. I only have one sibling and it's her children. Those 3 "monsters" are the closest thing that I have to children at this point and time. Therefore, I focus alot of my attention on them. Whenever they have birthdays and I'm not available or it falls on a weekday and they don't have a party, I make sure they have something in the mail.

Their paternal grandmother passed away last week and the funeral was yesterday. I was right there. Even though they didn't understand why I was there, because their grandmother was not MY relative, I knew I had to be there.

I'm sure my sister and brother-in-law know that if anything were to happen to them (God forbid), that they will be in great hands.

[kizzie22]

Good Topic

I am sitting up here getting misty eyed reading everyone's response.... I am a godmother to the most beautiful and precious little girl in this world. Micah is a very special little girl. Micah's mother had a rough pregancy so this little girl is lucky to be here. I have a college fund set up for her and will be availiable for her on her 18th birthday. I keep her two and sometimes three times a week. I am always buying her things. We took x-mas pics yesterday. She is 4 months old now and I am thankful everyday that I have this little angel in my life.

[dst3800]

Yes, I am the Godmother to my 1st cousin's 3 year old daughter. In my family, the number of boys out weigh the number of girls(5-2), and I have always wanted a daughter (when the time is right of course!), so when my cousin gave birth to a baby girl and asked me to be the Godparent, I was elated! She has become so attached to me, and vice versa...and I take my duties seriously. And when I say "duties," I mean just to be there for emotional, physical, and financial support.

I try to spend as much time as I can with her now because I will be moving soon, and I know I am going to miss her terribly. Just as I know she will miss me. My home phone and my cell numbers are in the speed dial on the phone(#1 & #2), and she'll pick up the phone no less than 10 times a day and call me! And if I don't answer the home phone, she'll hang up and push the button for my cell! She knows that I love her and would do anything to make her happy. On Fridays, she'll call me and say "me wanna come to your house" and I have to just hop in my car and go pick her up!!

I think that the decision to be a Godparent is one of priviledge, and parents should take into consideration the type of person they want to be their child's Godparent...everyone is not Godparent material. When I start having children, they will already have an older sibling because my Goddaughter will always hold a spot in my heart as my 1st child. And when I look for Godparents for my children, I will know how to choose the right person for the job because I know what it takes.

[korkscru]

No, I haven't had the honour of being a godmother. However my best friend of 27 years (we've been friends since the age of 5) is the godmother of my two children. I COULDN'T have chosen anyone more perfect for the job (or should I say challenge). She's affectionately known as "Aunt Shawn" to my children. She calls or emails them since we've been living here in Virginia (she lives in Columbia, SC). But when we were in SC she made sure that she spent time with them. And even now, whenever we go home to visit, she makes it a priority to spend time with them. She remembers their birthdays. She inquires about my daughter's grades in school and things like that. Anyone can tell that she takes her role of being godmother VERY seriously. Of course she buys them things. And I find it rather wise that she focuses on buying things that they NEED more often than what they WANT. Every time I think about her, I just get emotional because I KNOW that I KNOW that I KNOW that she is a blessing in my life and the lives of my children. I love her more than I could EVER say because I know that if something should ever happen to me, she (along with my husband, my husband's family, and my family), will step up to the plate and my children will be WELL taken care of. And that has put my mind at ease ever since she accepted this responsibility 8 years ago when my daughter was born.

[darling1]

evrybody-----yes i said evrybody :-D

i just found out that i am going to be a godparent. i am very excited and scary and excited , did i say excited!!! teehee.

i know that it is a grand responsibility and i don't want to repeat the same mistakes that were done to me. also i know that there are certain things that i am supposed to do like purchase the baby's christening outfit. but is there counseling that i am suppose to attend prior to the service? any and all assistance would be helpful.

[Special1920]

I WAS the Godmother of 2 girls. My HS friends had children and asked me, and I excepted. I was GREAT. Not having children myself, my parents even got in on the act as if they were god grandparents. But after 14 years, no longer.
One woman took me for granted, thought GODMOTHER meant DADDY. I did a lot for this child, but I'm not the DADDY. It was simply never enough. I sponsored schhol pictures, school trips, Great Christmass, took to movies, slumber parties, then when I told the girl about how badly she was acting, the mother got mad at me, saying she's not my daughter. What a joke.
As for the other, same scenario, but she picked-up moved out of town, no forwarding address, or anything. My mom ran into her a month back, she was here because her dad was sick, she didn't even call, but lied to my mom and said she was.
If you have brothers or sisters, let them be godparents, after all if you die, unless it's stated in the will they will get your children anyway. I think it's a joke in most cases.

[darling1]

i am sorry that you had a negative experience. hopefully in time these godchildren will seek you out and want to reconnect or perhaps they will have the good memories of the wonderful things you did inspite of their parent's shortcomings. i didn't have the best of godparents but i made due and lived my life inspite of that fact. i still think that it is a blessing and will do the best that i can. she didn't have to ask me. we have only been friends for a short amount of time but she considers me a good friend. this confirms that i am doing something right in my life. i will pray that i won't lose contact with my godchild and that if my friend and i have a falling out, it will not affect the relationship i have with my godchild. incidentally, i believe that a godparent is a substitute for a parent and i hope you are encouraged through the good things you did for your godchildren.