I Don't Date Outside of My Race...

[teena]

Originally posted by OhioCentaur
the removing from the list or the not wearing deodorant for years?

The deodorant

[Honeykiss1974]

Originally posted by teena
The deodorant

That just breaks my heart - to be that cute and THAT funky.

Matthew need to be ashamed.......

[preciousjeni]

Originally posted by Honeykiss1974
to be that cute and THAT funky.

ROFL!

[Boom_Quack13]

Originally posted by AKA_Monet
OHHHH the irony... It was my mom who told me to stay outta a couple's affairs, but she's the one that gossips to me about my brother...

I really don't talk to my brother all that much...

Basically, I said what I had to say before he got married... After he got married, I didn't say chit to him and his wife and their relationship.

I think maybe there is a misunderstanding about my points. I am purely regarding it from a domestically violent relationship...

I have seen and heard my brother yell at his wife. As far as him yelling toward ANY woman in front of me, I cannot handle that and I take that personally. To me that is domestic violence and I will not allow that kind of yelling to escalate. Do that kinna chit away from me because I will say something... Especially to my brother...

And no, I will not leave the room or go somewhere else when any man thinks he can speak to a woman any way he wants to--especially if it is done in front of me...

I have been in a domestically violent relationship and withstood verbal abuse and if in my own way I can prevent any woman from undergoing that situation I will...

And I have seen A LOT of African American men be domestically violent against women generally. There are many reasons for that, many of them have to do with racism. However, the basis of domestic violence is about power in the relationship--making the other person subservient by any means necessary. Not ALL African American men--but a significant number of them do not know how to have an appropriate relationship with a woman. Whatever the reason, IMO there does need to be something done about that.

And when I speak on this topic alone, domestic violence, if the African American man is purveyer of that violence it is usually over women that 1) are African American women or 2) women that lack the basic understanding of the cultural identity--namely other ethnic groups...

As an example, I know plenty of Asian women that are very strong willed and minded women, extremely intelligent and will speak their minds. But they will hesitate with some African American men who they might be dating because that man will hit them...

That is how our men often get into deep trouble... It does not make it right... Should we really stay out of that? Or should we teach our African American men how to not think that it is okay to be misogynistic and abusive toward women generally by first starting off with loving their African American women?

That is where I am coming from... PM me if you would like to discuss further...

I still think it was overstepping your bounds. While he is your brother, his relationship with his wife is NOT your business. When she is tired, she will handle herself. Your interfering is not going to help her. She has to stand up for herself. Why would she stand up for herself if she has you to rush in playing Captain Save'em?

One of my messageboard peeves is when a poster gets everything off their chest and then asks that any further replies be taken to PM. I don't roll like that. It's nothing personal, but if you wanted to take it to PM, you should have PM'd me, not spill your guts for the world to see and ask for a private 'rebuttal.'

[Boom_Quack13]

Originally posted by preciousjeni
This post has been bothering me for a minute. So, I've decided to say something.

On straightening out a man: I have no use for advice on this as my man is respectful. How condenscending to suggest that a man be treated as a child who needs to be "straightened out." I left that type of man alone and in my past.

On soul food recipes: I am southern. I already know about southern soul food. But, it doesn't matter since my man is a vegetarian and health nut.

On hair advice: As if all non-black women were so ignorant...Ok - I've heard horror stories about babies getting their hair yanked out with fine-toothed combs and getting their scalps burned by inexperienced hairdressing mothers, but not everyone is this way. I, for one, will be keeping my daughter's/daughters' (if I am so blessed) hair natural until she is 16 - at which time we will discuss other options that she may prefer aesthetically. My son/sons will maintain a low-cut style. I will insure that ALL of my children are as neat and comfortable as possible.

Hair care is not a mystery if you have half a brain.

ETA: There ARE options for biracial children. For example: http://www.curls.biz/index.htm

I did NOT make that post to you or concerning you. I don't care about your personal situation.

I'll be glad when non-Black women who are boo'd up with Black men stop trying to explain shyt all the time and taking things so personally.

[Boom_Quack13]

Originally posted by preciousjeni
Oops - I meant to respond to this too! I DID stop to educate myself. But, Boom_Quack didn't account for people like me. Oh - and I appreciate your comments - you demonstrate an understanding of what I'm talking about.

Why should I 'account for people like you?' If you are not coming to me asking all that bull, then there is no reason to bring you up.

But being true to another aspect of 'people like you,' you came in here explaining isht that nobody asked about. That also irks me.

[Jill1228]

Ahhh ya bring back memories...

Learning sistah hair 101...

I was with my mom in a drugstore and this poor dude (white guy) comes up to us begging for help. His wife was in the military and stationed overseas. He had a list of stuff that his wife wanted him to get. (His wife is a sistah). We spent an hour helping this very grateful man get what he needed to get. His wife should have given him the Sistah Hair 101 lesson from the git go.

Mr. 1228 got the Sistah 101 lesson very early. I took him to the beauty supply place with me and he now knows what to get if needed.

He takes braids out faster than I do

He grew up in Canada but can cook the HAYLE outta some greens.

Originally posted by Honeykiss1974
Now, I may sound like a hypocrite because the person I'm dating right now is white. (lol) But thank you lord, I don't have to educate him on stuff like. He knew going into the situation what is going on. He grew up in the south so he knows what greens and chitterlings are. He knows why some sistahs where a scarf on their head at night and difference between a relaxed and a natural. I'd die a slow death if I knew he was soliciting advice from strangers in Wal-mart about how to deal with black ______ (hair, food, etc.).

[Dionysus]

Originally posted by teena
I will get right on it.

How about Dionysusus?

That's fine teenaweenytitties!

[ShamikaT]

Originally posted by mulattogyrl
Oh wow, I'm a biracial grown-up, but thanks for the website!

There ain't no such thang as bi-racial. Errrrrone gots a lot of races in them. I am Afrussiandianrish (1/8 Indian, 1/16 Irish, and 1/32 Russian), goin' by that reasoning. Just face it, you IS just plain ol' BLACK!

[aopirose]

Originally posted by Honeykiss1974
That just breaks my heart - to be that cute and THAT funky.

Matthew need to be ashamed.......

Agreed. He explained it this way on Oprah. As a teen, his mom told him that he had a good natural smell and therefore, didn't need deodorant. He went on to say that although he didn't wear deodorant, he still bathed daily.

[ladygreek]

Wow, I avoided this thread because I thought it would make me angry. But there is some good discussion on here.

Personally, I dated a White man for over a year, but probably would not do it again. Why? there were just too many fundamental differences. But I don't criticize Black women that do who have managed to overcome those differences.

Now I will be hypocritical and say I have a real problem with Black men and non-Black women. Why? Because I live in Minnesota where it is very prevalent, and while I understand the concept of true love knows no color, my personal experiences here have been very bad.

I have had White women smirk at me when they pass me with their Black man on their arm. I have had Black men nearly knock me down in a club trying to get past me to talk to a White woman. And I have had Black men who were friends and proclaimed their love for Black women to be busted out otherwise.

When interracial dating and marriages are equal, i.e. just as many White men seeking Black women, then I think I will be okay with it. But the bottom line for me is until then, the number of eligible Black men is significantly lower than the number of eligible Black women, and add that to the fact that we have to compete with non-Black women leaves many of us and our daughters out in the cold.

[Boom_Quack13]

Originally posted by ladygreek
Wow, I avoided this thread because I thought it would make me angry. But there is some good discussion on here.

Personally, I dated a White man for over a year, but probably would not do it again. Why? there were just too many fundamental differences. But I don't criticize Black women that do who have managed to overcome those differences.

Now I will be hypocritical and say I have a real problem with Black men and non-Black women. Why? Because I live in Minnesota where it is very prevalent, and while I understand the concept of true love knows no color, my personal experiences here have been very bad.

I have had White women smirk at me when they pass me with their Black man on their arm. I have had Black men nearly knock me down in a club trying to get past me to talk to a White woman. And I have had Black men who were friends and proclaimed their love for Black women to be busted out otherwise.

When interracial dating and marriages are equal, i.e. just as many White men seeking Black women, then I think I will be okay with it. But the bottom line for me is until then, the number of eligible Black men is significantly lower than the number of eligible Black women, and add that to the fact that we have to compete with non-Black women leaves many of us and our daughters out in the cold.

I have been on the receiving end of the smirks, as well. And worse, I've had them clutch their man, as I pass by, or enter a room. I refrained from posting those experiences, because I knew some Becky (or should I now say Jeni) would come in here explaining and going on and on, trying to negate my experiences.

While I am married to a Black man, I do understand and agree with your point about the IR dating and marriages becoming equal. What's more troubling for me is how Black men tend to lower their standards, when it comes to dating outside their race. I can use my cousin as example, although he is not the only one, by far.

My cousin has always had to have his (Black) women come from a certain kind of family, with a certain level of education and physical appearence. He married a Caucasian chick, and all of thath went out of the window. Her appearence is subpar, as well as her education. We won't talk about her breeding (or lack thereof ).

A friend, who I graduated from high school with, always had to have the cream of the crop sista. She had to be shaped a certain way, even if she wasn't the most beautiful girl, facially. He had a serious track record of dating sistas who had very nice figures. Along comes truckish Becky, and I'll be darned, if he didn't trip over his own feet to get to that big ol' pale chick. Becky was a run-through girl. She had been run through by A LOT of guys (and a couple of girls ). But he lowered his standard in a major way for her. He stayed with her for years, trying his best to get that light-skinned baby from her. Come to find out, she couldn't have children, and she was dropped for another Becky.

[mulattogyrl]

Originally posted by ShamikaT
There ain't no such thang as bi-racial. Errrrrone gots a lot of races in them. I am Afrussiandianrish (1/8 Indian, 1/16 Irish, and 1/32 Russian), goin' by that reasoning. Just face it, you IS just plain ol' BLACK!

Thanks Shamika T! I stand corrected.

[Boom_Quack13]

Originally posted by mulattogyrl
Thanks Shamika T! I stand corrected.

LMAO!!!!

Soror, I need you to teach others how to take Miss ShamikaT in stride.

[AKA2D '91]

Originally posted by AKA2D '91
but if I would, I'd be interested in dating (Celebrities or Someone You Know-First names only):
)

Personally: M.S.
Celeb: Andy Garcia