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  #1  
Old 10-11-2001, 01:53 PM
ZTAngel ZTAngel is offline
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Angry BIG roommate problems

It's actually not my roommate...it's her sorry excuse for a boyfriend. He lives about two hours away and he comes and stays every weekend with us (there's 3 of us living in the apartment). He brings his ugly, smelly dog with him everytime. The dog barks at its own tail and if it hears someone outside, it will start barking at 3am waking up the whole apartment. But, that's not even the worst. He's a total slob. He'll leave a bowl of half-eaten food just sitting on the dining room table expecting his girlfriend to clean it up. She refuses so it ends up being me or my other roommate who cleans it. He never puts anything away. We have about 7 cups sitting on our living room coffee table and they ALL belong to him. He eats all my food!!! Even more disgusting...he'll, um, go number 2 (I'll use child terms for this one ) and he won't flush!!!!!!!! So, I talked to my roommate about this last week after he left. I explained to her very calmly that I don't feel that he respects us. She's very hot-tempered so she didn't take anything I said into consideration. She was just like, "Well, I'll try to clean up after him but it's not my job when I work 20 hours a week and I go to school...." Um...yeah...it's her boyfriend so it is her job. Yesterday, I cleaned out the whole apartment. Spent all day doing it. The place smelled beautiful...a mix of pine sol and bleach. I told my roommates that my parents were coming on Friday and I wanted the place to look nice. Dum, dah, dum, dum, DUM!!!!!!!!!.....her boyfriend shows up here yesterday! I just bought these new shower rings a few days ago. Costed about $20. They don't break or fall off easily. I know that because I tested them just to make sure. Pulled on the shower curtains and dropped the rings on the floor. Those things were unbreakable...at least I thought. Came home from my boyfriend's place early this morning to find one of the rings missing. My roommate had just left for work so I called her on her cell phone inquiring about my shower hook. As I was dialing, I saw the hook sitting in one of the bathroom cabinets...it was shattered to pieces. I asked her how it happened. Yeah, it was her boyfriend who did it...somehow managed to break it off. He must've played tug-of-war with it or something. She's like, "Is it that big of deal that you had to call me about it?" I could no longer stay calm. I screamed at her, "When I spend $20 on something and haven't even seen a penny of it from you then, yeah, it is a big deal!" I promptly hung up. Probably wasn't the most mature thing but whatever. But, now, I don't know what to do. I'm sooo beyond annoyed. My other roommate (who's my best friend) is never around bc of her internship and has her own bathroom so she never sees the worst of it. Any of advice anyone??? Thanks. Sorry this was so long.
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  #2  
Old 10-11-2001, 01:54 PM
ZTAngel ZTAngel is offline
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Sorry...one more thing and then I promise that I'm done. She pays for 1/3 the rent in the apartment so telling her that her boyfriend is no longer welcome in the apartment is NOT an option.
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  #3  
Old 10-11-2001, 02:55 PM
The1calledTKE The1calledTKE is offline
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Just confront the bf and ask him nicely to clean up and keep the dog at home. Otherwise you can make his life hell by doing random mean things and he might just stop coming over.
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  #4  
Old 10-11-2001, 02:57 PM
kimmykimmy kimmykimmy is offline
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I would kick her out and find another roommate FAST or you and your best friend find another place. Not to quote Ann Landers, but the added expense is worth it when you get peace of mind in return.

I know money is tight but you guys MUST break your lease (usually there is a fee but you can usually pay it off in installments) or kick her out. If she also signed a lease, talk to your management company. Maybe there is a no dog rule. That would be grounds for being kicked out.

This is TOTALLY unacceptable. You MUST do something.

And, to quote Ann Landers again "Someone can't take advantage of you without your permission."

Please do something and please keep us posted.
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  #5  
Old 10-11-2001, 03:14 PM
PenguinTrax PenguinTrax is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by kimmykimmy

And, to quote Ann Landers again "Someone can't take advantage of you without your permission."
Actually, Eleanor Roosevelt originated this quote.

Regardless, the roommate and her BF are something else. Either they move out or you do. If he's spending that much time there, she/he should pay more rent. If he's there every Friday night - Sunday night, then he is there using utilities, etc. for 8-10 days each month. That's at least 1/3 of the month. She should pay extra for rent and utilities to cover his living there. It's only fair.

Also - you guys need to set down some basic house rules - you mess it up, you clean it up, you break it, you pay for the replacement, you eat it, you buy me another one, etc.

Barbara
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  #6  
Old 10-11-2001, 03:26 PM
OleMissGlitter OleMissGlitter is offline
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Lightbulb Have a talk with them!

Hey darling!
Trust me I know what you are going through! But the only way to help the situation is to sit down your roommate and the boyfriend, maybe after a few beers, and talk to them. You have to be honest and you have to put your foot down. You pay rent too and you have rights too! Your roommate's boyfriend is not on the lease or contract that ya'll agreed to so therefore, he has no legal rights. And also, if they are always together, she should really think about living alone since she doesn't seem to see his errors! Oh and about the dog, that would so upset me! You could do something subtle, like making comments around the roommate like, "gosh I wonder what a weekend of just us girls would be like, or without any shackers." Good luck, and I know that if you talk to the two of them, it will all work out!
-Ole Miss Glitter Girl
(Kate)
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  #7  
Old 10-11-2001, 03:33 PM
ZTAngel ZTAngel is offline
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Update:
Thanks to everyone who answered. Very good suggestions. Moving out would be a last resort. We are all on one lease, it's not three seperate leases. I think that if I left them stranded and did not pay them money that's grounds for a lawsuit. If I move out and pay them the money for the rest of my lease (our lease ends in August), it would end up being almost $4000! It's that on top of paying a new rent. I'm very poor and I guarantee that my parents wouldn't help me out.
Our rules of house are exactly what Barbara said: you break, you pay for the replacement, etc. She's an excellent roommate when her boyfriend isn't here. She's clean and tidy, she's quiet, and she happens to be one of my really good friends. It's just that when her boyfriend visits she seems to forget all these things. My other roommate and I told her that we felt this way and she said, "You all act as if I don't do anything around here." She does do a lot. I admit that she is the ONLY one willing to take out the trash if it starts leaking or smelling really bad (me and my other roommate are kinda prissy). But, she doesn't seem to understand that she isn't a good roommate when the bf is here.
My best friend came into my room an hour ago in tears. The night before she brought her boyfriend over. The "jerk boyfriend" (his new name) starting making fun of my roommate about how she use to binge drink a lot and hook up with lots of guys....in front of her boyfriend!!! My best friend isn't confrontational so I don't even think she'll say anything to my roommate. Sigh.
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  #8  
Old 10-11-2001, 04:29 PM
valkyrie valkyrie is offline
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Okay, I'm thinking. What a terrible situation!

The guy is an ass. You said that you have house rules -- well, your roommate is basically violating the rules by inviting this slob over all the time. I mean, who poops and doesn't flush?? The behavior you described is outrageous. The problem is that there seems to be no consequence to violating the rules -- okay, he makes a mess, doesn't give a damn about anyone else and takes advantage of you all and nothing happens, except you getting upset (which doesn't matter to him).

It sounds like you have tried to talk to your roommate and she just gets defensive and angry. I don't really know what to suggest next. You really shouldn't have to (because your roommate should) but you could try talking to the guy, right, or both of them?

Why can't you and the third roommate (who should support you whether she's around or not) tell her that he's not welcome any more? She pays 1/3 of the rent, but not enough to make up for his lame ass disrespectful actions and all the stuff he eats/breaks/poops. Why doesn't she go visit him sometimes? Why does he need to come over every week? What on earth does your roommate see in a guy who is such an ass and has no respect for her and her friends and who expects her to clean up after him?

If it looks like moving out is your only option, try to find someone else to take your place and pay your share of the rent.

Or, if you talk to them and nothing gets resolved and you really don't want to move, just be even more obnoxious than he is. Ha ha. You could keep track of everything he eats and breaks, and send him a bill at the end of the month.

You know, I just thought of this -- does your school have anything like student mediation? I'm wondering if there's someplace on campus where you guys can go and discuss this, and get input and suggestions from a neutral third party. That might work.

Eeek. Good luck!
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  #9  
Old 10-11-2001, 05:50 PM
damasa damasa is offline
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About your lease problem:
Couldn't you try to find someone to sublease the apartment for you? I know around my university, it is highly practiced because we have quite a few students that study abroad for a semester or so. If that is still not an option, go and talk to him yourself. Tell him how it is, and if your roomie gets upset, she's just going to have to deal with it. I know that a lot of my brothers have their gf's over all the time and I mean ALL THE TIME! Are house is always taken over by gamma phis or random gf's of some of the brothers, but..that's ok, because they respect the house, and they clean up after themselves. Other than that, I really don't know what to say, set some kind of meeting up maybe w/ all of the ppl living in the apartment and try to lay down some law, so to speak.

d
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  #10  
Old 10-11-2001, 07:40 PM
aephi alum aephi alum is offline
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Ouch! Sorry to hear about your roommate problems.

Try talking to your roommate again. Point out to her, that if she ends up marrying this guy, she's going to be picking up after him, flushing the toilet for him, etc. for the rest of her life. This guy is taking advantage of her, and by extension, you and your other roommate. Tell her he and his dog are not welcome any more, and that she will either have to tell him not to come over or move out.

If she does move out, you will have to find a third roommate, but that shouldn't be a problem. Rental housing, particularly around colleges, tends to be hard to come by. You and your other roommate may have to cover a month's worth of rent between the 2 of you, but it's worth it.

Good luck!
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  #11  
Old 10-11-2001, 11:51 PM
XO_Princess XO_Princess is offline
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Oh my gosh, what kind of guy is this? Who doesn't flush?And who is so non-tactful to say things like that in front of your poor roomate's new bf? I would be so emberrased, not only for you, but for your roomate with the jerk boyfriend. Does she not acknowledge how he acts? Or does she just make excuses for him? I would definately sit down with all your roomies, and tell GWJB( girl w/ jerk boyfriend) that while you know she puts in her share around the apartment, her bf doesn't and you don't appreciate his behavior. Or his sponging. You live there too, and you shouldn't have to put up with it. I'd say things like.."gosh, I never see you on the weekends anymore, it would be so nice if it was just us girls this weekend" Or something like that. I don't know-I would probably lose my temper and yell at both of them. Probably not a great idea.

When my boyfriend and his frat brother lived together, they had a rule, that I still use today-you get one cup per day. None of that drinking from one cup, and getting another stuff. That way, you only have a couple of cups sitting around-as opposed to 7. That rule even applied to us girlfriends. It really cut down on the dishes laying around, you know?
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  #12  
Old 10-12-2001, 08:44 AM
justamom justamom is offline
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I'd try to find a new roommate, or plead a dog allergy. You might think kicking her out will end your friendship, but at the rate things are going, it's heading for disaster anyway.

Mean things-spike the food with ex-lax. (oops he might not flush that either)
Invite some people over and tell his poop story to the crowd.
Invite her parents for a surprise visit.
Let the dog loose and call animal control.

These are pretty lame. I KNOW there are some criminal minds on this board that can come up with some whoppers.

On the shower ring-fold and double the last hole and use one ring.
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  #13  
Old 10-12-2001, 10:21 AM
carnation carnation is offline
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Talking

LOL, justamom!!!!Only someone like you or me who had been through years of crappy roommates could come up with answers like that!

I vote for telling his friends about the poop. Heck, tell everyone you can! The girl sounds clueless anyway, the kind who's blinded by her feelings for the guy, so I'm not sure that you'll get any results from laying your cards on the table--but try.

And if that fails--criminal minds of Greekchat, what can she do?
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  #14  
Old 10-12-2001, 11:00 AM
AOPiLaLa AOPiLaLa is offline
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Okay, I had a different kind of roomate hell, but will so agree with everyone who says to get out and get out fast! I lived with 3 girls who had all gone to college together(I knew one of them from HS but she was a few years older) and I was so excited when she let me know that they had an extra room in their cool house in DC. We talked a few times before I moved in and I was really excited. SADLY, that was the last time any of the girls talked to me AT ALL. When I moved all my stuff in, none of the girls helped me(one of my new neighbors saw me struggling with my mattress and gave me a hand. They were all retreated into their rooms. They would all go out and never ask me. They would forget to give me phone messages, or tell me that "the girl with the annoying voice-I think its one of your sorority sisters called"(They were COMPLETELY anti greek). And when I did have friends over, they would leave me little notes, telling me how they didn't think my friends were the kind of caliber of people that should be in their house. When I did meet a guy in DC and began to spend some nights at his house, I learned that the girl from my hometown had told people I had turned into an alcholic slut and was sleeping around and never home.
Finally, I had enough and actually moved from DC to ATL, because I knew that I would rather be near my friends than at a good job. The kicker was when I told my roomates I was moving out and one of them looked at me and said "You know, Atlanta really is more of the place for sorority girls that need their mommies and daddy's. DC is the place for people with strength and backbone" I moved out a week later and have not spoken to any of them since.
While I did want revenge and I had some nice things planned, I came to realize that their lives were so shallow, pathetic, and bitter, what they did to themselves in the years to come was much worse than anything I could ever do to them. And whats great is I ADORE Atlanta, have amazing friends, a killer apartment(by myself), a good job, and know that I have the STRENGTH to admit I made a mistake and move on with my life. That to me is the best revenge!
Hang in there, sweetie!! I am always here to listen!!!
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  #15  
Old 10-12-2001, 11:52 AM
KillarneyRose KillarneyRose is offline
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Don't leave us hanging!

Quote:
Originally posted by AOPiLaLa
While I did want revenge and I had some nice things planned, I came to realize that their lives were so shallow, pathetic, and bitter, what they did to themselves in the years to come was much worse than anything I could ever do to them
I'm so nebby but I have to ask, what happened to these witches after you left?

Also, I couldn't help but laugh at their claim that D.C. isn't a town for sorority girls. A sorority girl named Condeleeza Rice seems to be doing pretty well there
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