PNM's: Beware of Thefacebook

[kdonline]

Recently, I have looked up girls who have asked me for recs on The Facebook, Myspace & Friendster...to see if they pledged, because I hadn't heard otherwise.

One of them who didn't pledge (or hasn't "connected" herself to a sorority) seems to enjoy partying much more than school. At least, from what I can tell by her pictures, comments, grops, etc.

I can't help feeling uncomfortable that last year, I had recommended her to my sorority.

[OleMissGlitter]

At Ole Miss they are cracking down on PNMs and actives who are using facebook to dirty rush.

Check this out:
Memorandum:

To: NPC member sorority presidents, recruitment chairs, and advisors

From: Greek Life Office

Re: The Facebook.com

Date: July 7, 2005

As most of you are probably aware, thefacebook.com has become an increasingly popular website for many college students and many of your members. As technology changes and advances, it can present new challenges and issues to our recruitment processes. The Panhellenic Council has made significant efforts to communicate some necessary adjustments in order to hold to our Panhellenic Constitution and the recruitment rules. It seems, however, that there are still some misunderstandings concerning thefacebook.com. This memo is being sent to all parties involved as a way of clearing up any possible misinterpretations of the recruitment rules and how they apply to thefacebook.com.

There are two main issues that have presented some difficulty:
1) Having “groups” representing a particular sorority. (i.e.-the “Beta Beta group”)
*****Please remove these groups from the website immediately! PNM’s have become friends with members and then become “groupies.” So to eliminate the problem altogether, we asked all groups to take the groups off. Several sororities have already taken this action. For those that have, thank you for your cooperation. For those of you that have not, we have set a deadline of Wednesday, July 13th to remove your sorority’s group from thefacebook.com.

2) Current undergraduate members of sororities being “friends” with potential new members.
*****Members of NPC sororities at the University of Mississippi cannot be “friends” via thefacebook.com with any potential new members!! This is a clear violation of the Panhellenic recruitment rules during the pre-recruitment period. Section II, #2:

“Sorority women may not have phone conversations, written contact, or internet contact (email, instant messenger, etc…) or arranged meetings with Potential New Members for the purpose of acquainting them with their sorority.”

Again, the Panhellenic Council has made numerous attempts to communicate this rule to every sorority and how it applies thefacebook.com. Obviously it is rather difficult to keep track of every single sorority woman and their acquaintances via thefacebook.com. But because there are still many woman who remain “friends” via thefacebook.com, we are setting a deadline of Wednesday, July 13th at 12:00 p.m. noon for ALL sorority women at the University of Mississippi to remove their “friendships” with ALL potential new members.

For every violation after noon on July 13th, 2005 there will be a $300 fine. For every day after that (defined at noon each day), there will be an additional $100 fine.

We understand that this may seem excessive. But with the advancement of technology and culture, we must adapt to the new changes to abide by our constitution. As a Panhellenic Council, we have been charged with upholding the rules and ideals of sorority women at Ole Miss. We are working hard to make Recruitment 2005 the very best it can be. We urge everyone to cooperate in the spirit of fair play.
-------------------------------------------------------

All of the sororities got ride of their groups but it is hard to regulate this be/c before they made these rules some of the actives and some of the PNMs have made friends with each other so now they are having to defriend each other!

[WVU alpha phi]

We haven't been issued a warning yet from Panhellenic, but our president and chapter advisor have encouraged us to remove ourselves from groups promoting drinking and drugs. I don't really see the big deal with the drinking groups because pretty much every typical college student drinks, not just Greeks. However, a small group of my sisters (only about 3 or 4 girls) are in groups like "Professional Weed Smokers of WVU", which I think can reflect negatively on my chapter. I hope we do take harsher action against that before fall recruitment.
As for eliminating chapter's groups on facebook, I think that's going a little far. If the PNMs want a preview of the girls they're going to be rushing for a week, I don't see the problem with it. I can see though the problem with befriending PNMs through facebook.

[daisy625]

Originally posted by Camelia
I agree with you, that's why I said that we ALL need to maybe use more discernment and caution when we post things about ourselves on the interent.

including remarks made on this website. theres a huge readership here. i know plenty of you post under the funny rush stories forum, & while it's silly to hear a young girl ask something about hair color... how do you think PNMs see you (or your org) after habitual unwarranted remarks? especially personal remarks/remarks about other orgs? (this is clearly more of an issue on fratty.net. on that note, i wonder if orgs have created standars to prevent this kind of thing yet)

anyway .... it doesn't exactly make them feel welcome & positive about your role in the greek community. or the greek community at large for that matter. while it is unlikely that one person would carry a comment that far, if it is an individual who has had bad experiences or had exposure to a lot of bad press.. it could be enough to leave a lasting impression on them.

i'm not saying it is common or that it happens a lot, but it is a viewpoint that isn't considered very often around here (until threads are deleted after the fact). being a PNM, i think it's an equally important factor.

the internet is a casual environment. most pictures are jokes & sarcasm is pretty much the norm. most understand that. i doubt that anyone would judge an entire organization (or a person) by the contents of a breif profile.. but if there was something that blatantly stuck out or was consistent with other behavior.. i see how it could make a difference.


anyway the point of all this rambling is:


stay conscious of the impression you make whether it is in person, over an email, or on a place like facebook. greek member, pnm, or a third party.. impressions are lasting.

[FSUZeta]

well said!!

[33girl]

Originally posted by daisy625
including remarks made on this website. theres a huge readership here. i know plenty of you post under the funny rush stories forum, & while it's silly to hear a young girl ask something about hair color... how do you think PNMs see you (or your org) after habitual unwarranted remarks? especially personal remarks/remarks about other orgs? (this is clearly more of an issue on fratty.net. on that note, i wonder if orgs have created standars to prevent this kind of thing yet)

anyway .... it doesn't exactly make them feel welcome & positive about your role in the greek community. or the greek community at large for that matter. while it is unlikely that one person would carry a comment that far, if it is an individual who has had bad experiences or had exposure to a lot of bad press.. it could be enough to leave a lasting impression on them.

I would hope any high-schoolers or PNMs that are reading the funny rush stories thread are using it as a series of cautionary tales as to what NOT to do. Plus there are just as many stories on there of sisters doing stupid things! It's no different than the columns in Seventeen etc where people write in about their most embarrassing moments.

And anyone who says something crappy about another group here on GC gets the smackdown pretty quickly. fratty.net, not so much.

[daisy625]

i was referring to members who are rude to newcomers or younger girls with questions. or who are just unnecessarily rude/harsh on a habitual basis.

if you are turned off by certain traits during rush, chances are those girls are turned off by the same things from you. it isn't limited to rush in any way, it's just general manners.

[FAB*SpiceySpice]

Ok when recruitment at a school like mine is going on (STL Kappa you can feel me on this) or other huge schools where over 1000 PNM's go through rush, how in the heck are sorority members supposed to a) remember some chick from some party during 16 party day...yeah right, when that day is over the only thing I want is SLEEP and b) even have the time during recruitment to get on facebook? Maybe I'm just thinking of my campus, and especially my house but I don't think anybody looks girls up on facebook before they go through. That to me just seems incredibly creepy... And if some girl doesn't want to join my house or any of the other amazing sororities on our campus b/c she finds our facebook groups offensive then oh well, that's HER loss. Life is too short you guys...


And if people are so worried about this just change your settings so only people you list as a friend can look at your profile...problem solved.

[lyrelyre]

I don't want to say too much, but I am going to be honest. I know that on the campuses where I advise these websites are used by current members during recruitment. This year was the first year I had heard of it. I believe there are a few different sites.

However, the members were only looking for seriously inappropriate representations. I hope that eases some peoples minds.

I wish I could give some examples of the seriously inapproriate things that were found. That, as well, would be inappropriate.

[Optimist Prime]

Originally posted by Camelia
PNM's... please be VERY careful if you choose to register on Thefacebook before Recruitment.

As soon as a student is accepted at Clemson, he or she is given an email account through the university, so the student is eligible to subscribe to Thefacebook with his or her university email address. I'm sure that other universities have the same policy. With the popularity of Thefacebook increasing so much over the last year, high school graduates are making Facebook accounts prior to even arriving at the university. Many are even joining groups called "People who actually aren't at Clemson yet... No, you aren't the only one!" and "Class of 2009." Joining these groups makes a PNM very easily searchable. If a member of a GLO accesses the profile of a PNM and sees that her interests are "drinking tequila, staying out all night, etc etc" and has joined groups like "People Who Pre-game Everything," "M.I.L.F. in Training," and "I drink wine any day of the week and with anyone...biatch,"... or worse, I promise, the PNM will be remembered and probably not thought highly of during Recruitment.

GLOs want THE BEST new members possible... so in other words, don't post anything on Thefacebook that you would not tell one of the sisters or brothers of a GLO in person. Thefacebook is fun, and yes, I'm a member. But, if joining it means that you may possibly not get a bid because of something on your profile... it's not worth it at all.

Just be careful!

On the other hand , if you're a guy and thinking of rushing of fraternity, don't be worried about what you did/ said on the facebook/anywhere on line. what ever you did/ said was cool if we think you're cool, but If you are worried about it, you will be black balled.

[Allie]

~WARNING!~

This is my 2 minute rant on facebook!

I'm an active alumna so of course I'm on facebook, and one of the new members facebooked me without even knowing me! Then at homecoming when I met her she didn't even know who I was! I mean if your excited about your GLO your excited but it's no reason to randomly facebook people unless you have ever spoken to them! I will also throw in that I stop by the house ALL of the time since I live in town and one of my closest friends is still living in house, so we go out to dinner and stuff all of the time.

It gets better though... one of the other new members has all sorts of innaproperiate pictures in her album. Like pictures of dildo's and drunk people passed out with wet shirts that you can see through! I'm going to pass along the cautions of facebook to the chapter advisor and president. This way the girls can have a friendly reminder that you are always promoting yourself and your GLO!

Side note: This is the easiest way to not be voted in! If I still had that option I would not want these girls as sisters!

[WCUgirl]

I don't know if it has been mentioned yet or not, but even if it has, it bears repeating.

I am increasingly hearing about Greek Advisors who troll Facebook, Webshots, AOL away messages, etc., to find ammunition to use against the GLOs on their campus. It's not uncommon for these administrators to see pics of the GLO members doing things that appear to be hazing, when oftentimes the activities in question occurred before the member even went Greek.

Also, members of one GLO are turning another GLO in order to get their competition into trouble.

Please be mindful of what pictures you're posting online and what kinds of comments you make. The internet is NOT 100% anonymous.

/stepping off my soapbox

[KDMafia]

The Facebook is a really touchy issue. I am on it and I'm probably not in all of the most appropriate groups but I'm also in groups advertising academic sucess and/or philantrophic issues. However, I think the real danger lies in the facebook pictures. Especially now that they just allowed photo albums to be put up. I think it's all about moderation with it. You can put some groups that can suggest you are social but you shouldn't only be in groups supporting alcoholism. Also there's nothing wrong with a picture showing you out for the night and having fun. But dont put one of you dancing on a bar with your top off.

Chapters know what kind of behavior fits in with the rest of them. My chapter wouldn't be scared off by a girl who has a few mentions of going out. but if that was all she mentioned we might be wary.

My best word of advice is just to be smart. But I also didn't come from a school with a competitive rush so my idea of what being smart is might be too much.

So my other bit of advice is know your school's greek system

[AGDLynn]

Okay, i've read all these posts about what not to say/post, etc. but I have a different question.

I gather that someone can post a note on your "wall" or whatever it is called. Since it is "your wall", if you find it offensive, etc., can you yourself remove it or can only the post-er and/or moderator remove it?

Thanks.

[AUDeltaGam]

Originally posted by AGDLynn
Okay, i've read all these posts about what not to say/post, etc. but I have a different question.

I gather that someone can post a note on your "wall" or whatever it is called. Since it is "your wall", if you find it offensive, etc., can you yourself remove it or can only the post-er and/or moderator remove it?

Thanks.

You can remove it yourself