Feminism

[prdlocal]

I consider myself to be a feminist, and I am proud to be a member of my sorority. The two seem to be at opposite ends of the spectrum sometimes, and I was just wondering how other sorority women deal with this, and perhaps, how the fraternity men feel about this issue. It's just that fraternities and sororities are based on tradition, and feminism is all about breaking out of the tradtional mold that women are stereotypically placed in.

[lifesaver]

Originally posted by prdlocal:
and feminism is all about breaking out of the tradtional mold that women are stereotypically placed in.

That's not what feminism is all about to me. I think its a subjective thing. To me, feminism is women reaching, and attaining the equality that they were denied far too long. to me that equality means being able to do WHATEVER it is they want. Join a sorority, or drive a tank. The freedom to do it of therir own accord, and not at the decision of a man.

my 2 bits.

[IowaHawkeye]

i graduated from an all-female high school that above everthing else, taught us to be strong independant women. so when i joined my sorority, i feel that was part of me being strong. i'm surrounded by women who accept me as i am and care for me unconditionally. theyre willing to support me and give back to the community with me. to me thats what its all about. the sad thing is, when i told my "feminist" friends about joining DZ, a few of them were shocked that i feel into the mainstream "airhead/slut/snob sororiy thing" when they see the hard work my house give sto the community and the awesome grades we get.. they realized you can be a feminist with a bunch of sisters supporting you

[SuperXO]

Well said, lifesaver! I like that!

here's my 2 cents: Most sororities/ women's fraternities were created to nurture and advance the development of women. Even if our founder's never realized how far we would one day come, I like to think that them taking a stand and being sort of entrepreneurs is just another aspect of women coming up and showing they have minds and abilities of their own. Now, sororities can seem bad when we think of some modern stereotypes, like promiscuity, drinking and making a sexual object of oneself (or being made one by others). People seem to think this is more common in sorority women. They also think it is more common for them to be dependent on men (daddy, boyfriend, etc.) at least as far as I have heard in my experience. But, I would argue that these are people's stereotypes while real research has proven that sorority women achieve a lot in the business, academic and social world. They are involved in great projects, are very ambitious and have often been the first women to break through the glass ceiling in their respective professions. Sororities are about empowering women to do what they feel is right and best uses their abilities, if you really look at the purposes of the org. For instance, XO's purposes are all about making the members well-rounded, conscientious and achievers in 6 aspects of life (scholarship, community service, morals, friendship, extracurricular activities and career development).

It is hard for me though, when people talk about the stereotypes. I try to tell them how much I have developed and XO has helped me, but they just give me a look like, "Yeah, we know what you sorority girls really like to do!" And the worst is when guys joke about naked pillow fights in the sorority house! Give me a break! That's soooo not how it was!

Well, that was a lot more than 2 cents! Great topic though and I hope all women feel the same that their organization empowered them to become the best women they could be!

[33girl]

Originally posted by lifesaver:
That's not what feminism is all about to me. I think its a subjective thing. To me, feminism is women reaching, and attaining the equality that they were denied far too long. to me that equality means being able to do WHATEVER it is they want. Join a sorority, or drive a tank. The freedom to do it of therir own accord, and not at the decision of a man.


my 2 bits.

lifesaver:

ABSOLUTELY. You just earned a whole boatload of "good guy points"!

Feminism is NOT about whining how the patriarchy has oppressed you, harassing some guy reading Playboy magazine, or not shaving your armpits. It's about EQUALITY - the chance to do whatever a man can do and reap equal rewards for it. And if you want to do that in 5 inch heels, as a homemaker, or in a sorority, DO IT UP!!!

I highly recommend the book "Who Stole Feminism" by Christina Hoff Sommers...she hits the nail on the head, again and again.



[This message has been edited by 33girl (edited March 05, 2001).]

[Siobhan]

Iowahakweye: I too went to an all girls school - for 12 years!!! - joining a sorority just seemed like the right thing to do because I was used to being around women who are taught to be strong, independent, and to take on roles in their society - exactly what I found with the sororities.

I wouldn't call myself a feminist perse; obviously I believe in equal rights etc., but some things just go a bit too far. For example my grade 11 enlglish teacher was a feminist and she wanted to have the Illiad banned from our curriculum because it portrayed women in a bad light. You can't change the past, but you can change the future.



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Delta Phi Epsilon
Delta Gamma Chapter
University of British Columbia
Sigma 1996

[UNFSigmaChi]

Well i think its a good thing for women to be a little more independent but i always think one thing is funny. And thats a lot of girls preach feminism, yet when we take them out to dinner...the girl always looks for the guy to pay! :-) So i always joke with them saying ya feminism is good until then LOL.

[Billy Optimist]

Originally posted by UNFSigmaChi:
Well i think its a good thing for women to be a little more independent but i always think one thing is funny. And thats a lot of girls preach feminism, yet when we take them out to dinner...the girl always looks for the guy to pay! :-) So i always joke with them saying ya feminism is good until then LOL.

Yeah, they want us to be their slaves. LOL just kidding but then again

[sigmagrrl]

I also went to an all-girl's high school. I loved that we were there for each other and for ourselves. None of that petty HS crap that I went to a signle sex institution to avoid! When I got to college, I wanted that experience to continue. I knew I wanted to be Greek back in HS, it was a matter of finding my fit.

Sorority life is about sisterhood, a band of women who live for each other, care about one another, and grow and learn together for the greater good of the organization. Personally, I think that is the definition of feminism.

[mccoyred]

Like many previous posters, I also attended an all girls high school. I feel that the single sex environment empowers women because ALL of the 'important' positions are held by women (ie stud govt, athletics, club leadership). It also empowers because more women are seen excelling in science and math whereas in mixed environments, boys tend to be favored (according to various studies). Becoming a part of such a powerful organization like DST was a natural step for me.

It is also interesting that this topic came up today. I am currently reading a very powerful book "Ain't I a Woman: Black Women and Feminism" by bell hooks. I recommend it to anyone interested in the historical and social context for the feminist movement.

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MCCOYRED
Mu Psi '86
BaltCo Alumnae

Dynamic...Salient...Temperate...Since 1913

[Billy Optimist]

I just want to say, more power to you all.

[prdlocal]

Thanks for all your opinions guys!

I remember when I joined my sorority, and a fellow feminist/friend of mine seemed so suprised by the fact that I was joining a sorority. I guess a lot of it stems from peoples idea of what a sorority is. A lot of people associate it with media stereotypes... like naked pillow fights... right... now we all know this isn't true.

Also, I've been having a huge problem within my sorority recently because I am now one of the older members, a "wise one", and I have a lot of opinions regarding this topic that I don't think people share with me. I don't know if I should express my opinions within my chapter, as the newer members are more likely to follow my lead. So here it is... A majority of our meetings involve more conservative members complaining, and yelling at us about our behavior at parties, especially fraternity parties, and in particular exchanges (mixers). By behavior I mean PDA's and perhaps even going home with a guy, or taking a guy home. Now, unless you're making a complete fool of yourself, what's wrong with a woman expressing her sexuality? As long as she is safe about it, I don't think that a woman who has casual sex is a bad person. Hello!!! It's the 21st century, and we are now allowed to express our sexual freedom. Unfortunately, we're still stuck on the whole "you represent your whole sorority", and "we don't want to look like sluts" thing. I just think that it's time to move past this, to help our newer members to realize that today, it's okay... to do what you want, as women. Let's move away from the glorifying the male who sleeps around and ostrisizing the woman who does so.

Okay, I know this is a hot topic, but I just think that part of my feminism, is moving away from that part of the stereotypical mold of women. I don't know how well I explained myself, but I would appreciate any feedback. Thanks again guys!

[This message has been edited by prdlocal (edited March 06, 2001).]

[mccoyred]

While I do not condemn a woman expressing her sexuality, DISCRETION (there is that word again ) is key.

Originally posted by prdlocal:
Thanks for all your opinions guys!
A majority of our meetings involve more conservative members complaining, and yelling at us about our behavior at parties, especially fraternity parties, and in particular exchanges (mixers). By behavior I mean PDA's and perhaps even going home with a guy, or taking a guy home. Now, unless you're making a complete fool of yourself, what's wrong with a woman expressing her sexuality? As long as she is safe about it, I don't think that a woman who has casual sex is a bad person. Hello!!! It's the 21st century, and we are now allowed to express our sexual freedom. Unfortunately, we're still stuck on the whole "you represent your whole sorority", and "we don't want to look like sluts" thing. I just think that it's time to move past this, to help our newer members to realize that today, it's okay... to do what you want, as women. Let's move away from the glorifying the male who sleeps around and ostrisizing the woman who does so.

Okay, I know this is a hot topic, but I just think that part of my feminism, is moving away from that part of the stereotypical mold of women. I don't know how well I explained myself, but I would appreciate any feedback. Thanks again guys!

[This message has been edited by prdlocal (edited March 06, 2001).]

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MCCOYRED
Mu Psi '86
BaltCo Alumnae

Dynamic...Salient...Temperate...Since 1913

[Billy Optimist]

I think you should definetly express you opinion at chapter. there is nothing wrong with anyone expressing their sexuality.

[SuperXO]

I absolutely agree with mccoyred and prdlocal. A little discretion goes a long way, but I would never expect someone to not do something which they want to do (which is legal, etc.) if they want to. Outdated ideas of womens' morality are stifling and while we want our members to be of high standards, it is up to us to decide what high standards are. To me, high standards would be to be discreet about it, but not to be ashamed. There is absolutely no reason to broadcast it, but being in a sorority is not about putting rules on yourself that any average law-abiding woman would find ridiculous. I would suggest you try to have some sort of roundtable at your chapter where everyone tries to come to some consensus on what kind of standards need to be upheld and the balance of personal freedom vs. reflecting poorly on others you are associated with. You, as an older member, will be able to get this started and encourage honest dialogue amongst chapter members. Then, if a skilled facilitator is able to bring some resolution, everyone agrees to it and there is no grumbling behind backs or yelling in chapter meeting!

Good luck and let us know if you find something effective!

[This message has been edited by SuperXO (edited March 06, 2001).]