Preparing for recruitment since birth

[33girl]

Originally Posted by tcsparky

I think that this is one of the important things to remember about these girls. No one systematically set out to "prep" them for Recruitment. The characteristics sororities look for, the grades, social graces, activities and connections, are not consciously cultivated, that JUST ARE. It builds up gradually in layers during their lives, and joining a sorority is just one event along the way. They join a certain organization because that's just where girls from their (summer camp, high school neighborhood, country club) end up, not because they consciously planned it out, plotted for it and targeted it.

However, others, who want to end up like these girls, will target, prep, plan and scheme to get there, and aren't usually successful, because it's not "natural" for them- it's part of the artifice that they've created.

They may end up at mixers with the "right" boys, but don't marry any of them because they don't click, because they're not comfortable, or don't entirely fit in, with the lifestyle they are wanting to have. It doesn't "feel" right, because-again- it's not natural for them. Those using sororities for social climbing often end up in situations for which they don't have the "soft skills" and background experiences needed to blend in.

That sounds awfully like "non-Southern girls shouldn't even bother trying Southern rush." What about the girl who isn't social climbing, who in fact has no intention of being in that area one minute past graduation, but who while she is a student would like to have as many experiences as possible, with a sorority being one of them?

We say over and over every year that girls from all states end up in all chapters in SEC and other southern schools, but this post makes that sound like a big fat lie.

[FSUZeta]

But we know it is true because we have seen the bid lists with names and hometown listed. There may be fewer OOS girls in certain chapters, but there are also fewer girls from Podunk, Alabama or Rival HS in there. With 15-16 other chapters to choose from, OOS still have choices.

[jenidallas]

Originally Posted by 33girl

That sounds awfully like "non-Southern girls shouldn't even bother trying Southern rush." What about the girl who isn't social climbing, who in fact has no intention of being in that area one minute past graduation, but who while she is a student would like to have as many experiences as possible, with a sorority being one of them?

That's an entirely different story and those of us in the South know the difference.

The social climbers are painfully obvious and most have known the social climbing moms for years. I hear the term "old" and "new" a lot where I live. "Old money" vs. "new money". Or "old guard" vs. "newcomers". The new folks are obsessed with getting into the right clubs, joining the right committees, being invited to the right parties. The old folks just end up there. (Case in point, the "desirable" committee at a club... the current members propose incoming members and never think to appoint someone not in their circle... but the new money gal will scheme and plot and beg to get on that committee thinking it will make her friends with the old guard.)

In your case, the interested in being involved types don't usually care that they are on the "right" committee or going to the "right" event. They just want to meet people and contribute. Ironically, those ladies often end up in the old circles because they aren't trying... but they don't really care. It drives the new climbers crazy too.

[Sciencewoman]

Jane Austen was writing about this 200 years ago.

[TLLK]

Originally Posted by ucsbgirl

I think it's probably much different to be "raised" as a legacy in the South as opposed to other places. I'm from California (actually many places but that's the easiest answer) I'm a legacy (via my mom) to a pretty well-known national sorority. I've always known about sororities, and I think that when I rush this fall my mom does have some hope that I'll carry on the tradition. She's "prepared" me in the sense that she has talked to me about the pros and cons of recruitment, why she joined, what she liked, what she wasn't crazy about. And sometimes she says things like "Oh, that would be a cute rush outfit" or "Such and such would be a good thing to bring up in a conversation during rush".

That being said, it wouldn't be the end of the world if I didn't join her sorority or even if I chose not to rush at all, and while I've been "prepped from birth" somewhat, because I'm a little bit more familiar with Greek life than most people, I still am nowhere near the level of intensity as someone from a much more competitive area. Not even close.

My parents never even mentioned that they were Greeks until I'd graduated from high school. My mother had quietly joined the local alumnae group and had secured recommendations for me, but didn't share that with me. It was only when the Panhellenic recruitment guide arrived that she pointed it out to me and said that I might want to consider rushing my freshman year. I asked them about their experiences in their GLO and what they thought about it. What tipped my decision was when I realized that all of my mother's closest friends were her sorority sisters. They'd been friends for decades and I admired that aspect of Greek life.

When the time came I felt that I was well prepared because she'd given me good tips for a successful rush. I chose to call her at the end of each day and share my experiences. She stayed neutral and positive about each organization. When I made my choice to join her group, I knew I'd made the right decision for me. Two years later she did the same for my sister and she happily joined as well.

My daughter is a junior in high school and is preparing to start the college application process. A year from now we'll be celebrating her high school graduation and college acceptance. She knows that I was in a sorority only because my husband mentioned it when I'd attended a Founder's Day event. As a GDI he likes to tease me about that time in my life.
Occasionally she asks me, my sister and mother about why we joined and what were the positive aspects about it. She's heard about what we enjoyed and what we didn't like about it. At this point in time I'm not sure if she's going to go through recruitment but if she doesn't that's okay. However if she does, I'll do my best to prepare her and to support her during the process. In the end it must be her decision and I have to let her make her own way on this journey.

[AnchorAlumna]

Originally Posted by TLLK

My parents never even mentioned that they were Greeks until I'd graduated from high school. My mother had quietly joined the local alumnae group and had secured recommendations for me, but didn't share that with me. It was only when the Panhellenic recruitment guide arrived that she pointed it out to me and said that I might want to consider rushing my freshman year. I asked them about their experiences in their GLO and what they thought about it. What tipped my decision was when I realized that all of my mother's closest friends were her sorority sisters. They'd been friends for decades and I admired that aspect of Greek life.

When the time came I felt that I was well prepared because she'd given me good tips for a successful rush. I chose to call her at the end of each day and share my experiences. She stayed neutral and positive about each organization. When I made my choice to join her group, I knew I'd made the right decision for me. Two years later she did the same for my sister and she happily joined as well.

My daughter is a junior in high school and is preparing to start the college application process. A year from now we'll be celebrating her high school graduation and college acceptance. She knows that I was in a sorority only because my husband mentioned it when I'd attended a Founder's Day event. As a GDI he likes to tease me about that time in my life.
Occasionally she asks me, my sister and mother about why we joined and what were the positive aspects about it. She's heard about what we enjoyed and what we didn't like about it. At this point in time I'm not sure if she's going to go through recruitment but if she doesn't that's okay. However if she does, I'll do my best to prepare her and to support her during the process. In the end it must be her decision and I have to let her make her own way on this journey.

Your mom may have been low-key, but you know she was totally thrilled that you joined her sorority! Did she participate in your initiation?
My sorority was not on campus when I went through. I was kind of glad. I would have been crushed if she had turned up her nose at my chapter.

[TLLK]

LOL I should state that on the surface that she was low key, but inside she was absolutely thrilled to have both of her daughters join her chapter of Delta Gamma. I remember walking into the house kitchen the day my sister received her bid to find her crying tears of joy with our chapter advisor. She was always present at Founders' Day events and helped behind the scenes during recruitment.

Yes she was there to initiate me and two years later she was there to do the same for my sister.

Should her granddaughter choose to go through recruitment and join DG, then I expect to see her at her initiation too.

[GreekOne]

I am sure she was thrilled. I did not want to put any pressure on my daughter, but was beyond excited when she sent me the text with her bid card displaying the DG crest!! Attending her initiation and Mom/Daughter DG weekends have been the absolute best!!