Why? Sophomore UGA story

[snakealum]

Just found this site while looking for an impossible answer. An oustanding candidate had a miserable rush experience at UGA. High GPA (3.9), personable, actively involved in several philanthropies, Greek family history, tons of very favorable recs (close family friends, past chapter officers), attractive (Homecoming court), politically astute (class President), numerous friends/other connections and went into rush with a VERY open attitude. IOW, everything that, at least I, think about when thinking of sororities. Can there be THAT much bias against sophomores? Is there a valid reason for it that I am missing? I'm not talking about not getting the sorority that she wanted, she was cut by everyone BEFORE prefs. I can't believe that she could not find a home. Please help me understand.

[AOII_LB93]

Originally Posted by snakealum

Just found this site while looking for an impossible answer. An oustanding candidate had a miserable rush experience at UGA. High GPA (3.9), personable, actively involved in several philanthropies, Greek family history, tons of very favorable recs (close family friends, past chapter officers), attractive (Homecoming court), politically astute (class President), numerous friends/other connections and went into rush with a VERY open attitude. IOW, everything that, at least I, think about when thinking of sororities. Can there be THAT much bias against sophomores? Is there a valid reason for it that I am missing? I'm not talking about not getting the sorority that she wanted, she was cut by everyone BEFORE prefs. I can't believe that she could not find a home. Please help me understand.

No one here can answer your question.

[kddani]

Originally Posted by snakealum

Just found this site while looking for an impossible answer. An oustanding candidate had a miserable rush experience at UGA. High GPA (3.9), personable, actively involved in several philanthropies, Greek family history, tons of very favorable recs (close family friends, past chapter officers), attractive (Homecoming court), politically astute (class President), numerous friends/other connections and went into rush with a VERY open attitude. IOW, everything that, at least I, think about when thinking of sororities. Can there be THAT much bias against sophomores? Is there a valid reason for it that I am missing? I'm not talking about not getting the sorority that she wanted, she was cut by everyone BEFORE prefs. I can't believe that she could not find a home. Please help me understand.

Membership selection is confidential and no one can answer your question accurately.

Ideas:
- She did not maximize her options
- She did something her freshman year that earned her a bad reputation
- HS accolades mean very little for a sophomore
- She's up against hundreds of other "perfect" girls and just wasn't memorable.

[snakealum]

Originally Posted by kddani

Membership selection is confidential and no one can answer your question accurately.

Ideas:
- She did not maximize her options
- She did something her freshman year that earned her a bad reputation
- HS accolades mean very little for a sophomore
- She's up against hundreds of other "perfect" girls and just wasn't memorable.

1 - Maybe, but she did have 12 solidly on her "very
interested in" list going in. She was cut by all but one after second round.

2 - Always possible but highly doubtful.

3 - Agree, but the hit parade continues in college (3.9 is college gpa, HS was 4.3, leadership positions in several organizations, etc). "I love Athens!" was all I heard everytime I talked to her.

4 - Glad you put quotes around perfect. I think this would be more believable had she not been cut so severely so early. A 10 minute visit only confirms your predisposition.

I appreciate the attempts at answering what I guess was my true question, the one about sophomores. Some of them have validity but I do think that they are short-sighted when compared to what is missed by so easily dismissing this (or these) girls. No easy solution here but I am troubled by it. Never seemed to be a problem "back in the day".

I understand that there will never be any true answer to what happened. We had talked about what could happen before she went, I just never thought this really would. "Trust the process, you'll end up where you belong" was the mantra repeated over and over. I now feel like the general telling a mom that the battle went as planned and we won, So sorry your son got killed. Luckily, this young lady will be fine. Hurt but she will recover. I doubt, however, I can ever be as enthusiastic about trusting the process again. This was a train wreck.

[aopinthesky]

Originally Posted by snakealum

1 - Maybe, but she did have 12 solidly on her "very
interested in" list going in. She was cut by all but one after second round.

So are you saying that your daughter did not maximize her options? What I read is that there were 12 groups she would consider which leaves 5 that she would not? If she refused invitations from those 5 then there is not going to be an answer to your questions that you are going to like.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by snakealum

"Trust the process, you'll end up where you belong" was the mantra repeated over and over. I now feel like the general telling a mom that the battle went as planned and we won, So sorry your son got killed.

Small detour here:

I'm sorry, but likening recruitment to war is a bit much. Your daughter did not get a bid, and yes, that's hurtful to her and it's hard for you to see her sad, but there is no comparison. Your daughter is still alive.

[nittanyalum]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

Small detour here:

I'm sorry, but likening recruitment to war is a bit much. Your daughter ddi not get a bid, and yes, that's hurtful to her and it's hard for you to see her sad, but there is no comparison.

God, no kidding, big co-sign. I haven't heard an explanation why she was rushing as a sophomore either. If she didn't have a 'good reason' for not rushing as a freshman, couldn't that have hurt her too?

[pbear19]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

Small detour here:

I'm sorry, but likening recruitment to war is a bit much. Your daughter did not get a bid, and yes, that's hurtful to her and it's hard for you to see her sad, but there is no comparison. Your daughter is still alive.

THANK YOU for saying that. Not to trivialize any mother's pain if her very close daughter doesn't get into a sorority, but the analogy really went too far there.

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

Small detour here:

I'm sorry, but likening recruitment to war is a bit much. Your daughter did not get a bid, and yes, that's hurtful to her and it's hard for you to see her sad, but there is no comparison. Your daughter is still alive.

Is the OP a mom or a dad? I immediately thought Sigma Nu, but I know the snake's referenced by Sigma Kappa as well.

I was not under the impression that the OP was even the PNM's parent.

[breathesgelatin]

Originally Posted by snakealum

1 - Maybe, but she did have 12 solidly on her "very
interested in" list going in. She was cut by all but one after second round.

Given this scenario, I think you have your answer as to why she did not get a bid. She did not maximize her options. Perhaps if she had stuck with recruitment for the one group that invited her back to second rounds, she might have received a bid. We'll never know though.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by I.C. a Pi Phi

Class year is also looked at as $$ contribution. Let's say your dues are $1000/year.

If you pledge a freshman, that person is bringing $4000 to the sorority before you have to "replace" them, while the sophomore is contributing $3000.

Only if she stays the whole 4 years and doesn't drop out. If you have a lot of people burning out before their junior or senior year and terminating, the "we can get 4 years worth of dues" out of her really isn't a valid argument.

Originally Posted by UGAALUM

You can live in an apartment after you get out of school, but only one time in your life can you live in house. If you don't want to do it why join a sorority? The thing that has amazed me is the number of parents that pay for their daughter to live in the house and then rent an apartment for them. As a Mother why wouldn't you want your daughter to live in the house with a House Mother (no curfew) that allows no alcohol, smoking or boys in the rooms. I know some parents say they can't study, but there are quiet hours and study rooms better than the dorms.

Not everyone is suited to communal living. You shouldn't have to give up your chance to be part of a sorority because of it.

And if I was a parent...I would much rather my daughter live in a place without archaic rules where she can do what she wants to without sneaking out or driving drunk...but that is another thread.

[nittanyalum]

Paging OTW's signature link!

Originally Posted by nittanyalum

Paging OTW's signature link!

Late to the party as I've been away all day...but I'm heeeeere!

[Benzgirl]

Originally Posted by OTW

Late to the party as I've been away all day...but I'm heeeeere!

I propose that whenever a HM posts about DD, we need the OTW sig to pop-up. Kind of like, "Gotcha".

[NutBrnHair]

Originally Posted by snakealum

I'm not talking about not getting the sorority that she wanted, she was cut by everyone BEFORE prefs. I can't believe that she could not find a home. Please help me understand.

If a sorority doesn't choose to have someone in their new member class, then the time to release her IS before prefs. Everyone who attends pref is somewhere on the chapter's bid list and therefore, a possible new member.