Between Sex, Finances and Communication, which one is it? What would it be for you?

cheerfulgreek · #1 04-16-2008, 03:02 PM

I started a thread on the importance of finances in a relationship/marriage on a scale from 1-10. Well, as the chatting went on, people started talking about divorce. I always hear people say that the lack of sex, communication and/or finances are the biggest causes of divorce. I highly doubt it would start off as all three and if it did, that is one screwed up marriage.

If you were married or living with your bf/gf what would it be for you? Lack of sex, communication or finances? You're not limited to just one choice, but what's most important to you?

For me it would be finances, because I think it would have an effect on the other two. If a couple is financially stressed, it would effect sex because their minds would be on bills. It would effect communication, because with the financial stress I can't see how a couple would be on the same page.

33girl · #2 04-16-2008, 03:09 PM

Hands down, finances. Not so much do we have a lot of $$ but do we look at spending, saving etc the same way.

There are too many people getting married who don't even like to think about this because they think it's "unromantic" or " materialistic" and it's not at all.

RU OX Alum · #3 04-16-2008, 03:58 PM

i think a healthy relationship would need all three of those

cheerfulgreek · #4 04-16-2008, 07:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl

Hands down, finances. Not so much do we have a lot of $$ but do we look at spending, saving etc the same way.

There are too many people getting married who don't even like to think about this because they think it's "unromantic" or " materialistic" and it's not at all.

33girl I agree. I do think all three are necessary, but finance is what's most important.

Sex is important, but what if a couple can no longer have sex. Then what? Finance can make or break a marriage.

MysticCat · #5 04-16-2008, 09:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek

33girl I agree. I do think all three are necessary, but finance is what's most important.

Sex is important, but what if a couple can no longer have sex. Then what? Finance can make or break a marriage.

Having been married almost 20 years, I'd say finances are important, but communication trumps everything. If you can't communicate well, everything, including finances and intimacy, will suffer.

PrettyBoy · #6 04-17-2008, 02:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MysticCat

Having been married almost 20 years, I'd say finances are important, but communication trumps everything. If you can't communicate well, everything, including finances and intimacy, will suffer.

I agree here. Communication is everything, because it's related to both sex and finances. Now, I do think sex is just as important as communication, at least it is for me. I think men and women are different so I think a lot of it depends on that. I don't worry too much about finances because that all comes with education and the proper training.

So sex and communication are equally important for me.

AKA_Monet · #7 04-17-2008, 02:24 AM

Like Mystic said Communications (verbal, non verbal and telepathic

) is > sex/intimacy > = finances.

If you cannot tell your partner anything in a declarative sentence, the sex/intimacy could be spetacular and he or she could be a multi-gajillionaire--lack of communication (verbal, nonverbal or otherwise) will instantly neutralize any form of relationship. Generally, it turns the relationship into a fling or a hustle/pimpin situation.

nittanyalum · #8 04-16-2008, 10:01 PM

I co-sign MysticCat. Being able to (or learning to) talk about everything, including issues about finances and sex, is paramount. If you have open communication, you can tackle and overcome most anything in your relationship.

KSUViolet06 · #9 04-17-2008, 12:44 AM

Communication is most important. If you can't communicate, you can't effectively discuss anything that might be going on. Once you stop communicating, it's all downhill.

nikki1920 · #10 04-18-2008, 11:37 AM

Communication. If we can't communicate about the good, bad and ugly, then what is the point of staying in a relationship?

What works for me and Mr. Nikki1920 is remembering that we communicate differently and that that's ok. We areboth very careful to discuss things in a way so that the other person can understand what we are saying. Our fights came up when one of us was simply trying to get a point made without thinking of how the other person would receive it.