Greek Social Life - Then and Now

[vtgreekalum]

I've got a son entering college next year and two daughters shortly thereafter, so I was wondering if any of the "older" GCers with kids in college can contrast the Greek social seen now versus say the late 70's to early 90's; i.e.: dating, mixers, alchohol vs. marijuana use, etc.
Chris

[Benzgirl]

We were just discussing this last night with my niece who is a sophomore. She is not Greek, but attends many fraternity parties.

Themed Gatherings:
-Now: Cops and Robbers (girls in booty shorts and low-cut tops with push-up Bras). "_____ and Ho" (Golf Pros and Tennis Hos, Pimp and Ho, CEOs and Office Hos). 80s themes (explained to her that we didn't wear mini skirts up to our ass), Trailer Trash
-Then: Luau, Double-vision, Fiesta, Toga, Disco Fever, Flash Dance, Preppy, Caddy Shack, Casino, Old West.


Formals:
-Now: Buy a new dress and jewelry. Have hair and makeup done. Manicure and Pedicure. Rent limo or ride in luxury bus. Afterparty in a hotel suite with a jacuzzi.
-Then: Swap your last formal dress with a sister and borrow jewelry off someone else. Do your own hair and makeup. Paint your nails and maybe your toe nails too. Date meets you at the house and you board one of the busses. Afterparty in someone's off-campus apartment


Alcohol and Drugs
-Now: Beer and Hard Liquor, Crystal Meth, Crack, Heroin, Ritalin
-Then: Beer, Grain Alcohol, a little pot, Coffee


Sex
-Now: You carry condoms on you at all times and you hook up very casually with anyone, of any sex, and everyone knows. Walk of shame is shamless. Worry is HIV and STDs
-Then (note: AIDS had just been identified): Girls who were pinned and lavaliered spent the night with their BFs, everyone knows. Girl hooks up with someone after a date party and only roommate knows. Walk of Shame was shameful. Worry was pregnancy and STDs

Also,

-Now Cyber Stalking
-Then Catty Bitch down the hall calls you names

-Now Crazy Students shoot up classrooms
-Then Crazy Girls shoot you with mace

Bottom line. It's very different. In some ways it's good (better transportation around campus, the food options are greater, you can email, text or call your friend's cell). It's also bad...too easy to spend time surfing the internet, they get less exercise, it's easier to cheat on tests.

[kathykd2005]

Some of your "thens" sound a lot more like MY college experience than your "nows." The nows you are discussing are freaky, and I'm not sure they are the "norm" for Greeks "these days."

[Benzgirl]

Originally Posted by kathykd2005

Some of your "thens" sound a lot more like MY college experience than your "nows." The nows you are discussing are freaky, and I'm not sure they are the "norm" for Greeks "these days."

I know, it's spooky. Those contrasts came from a 19-year old. She is somewhat disgusted be what she saw in the dorms, but loves college anyway. I am aware of many similar responses from the smaller colleges near my home. The one that completely threw me was when she told me there was a "condom club". I didn't ask her to elaborate

[kathykd2005]

Again, however, I want to reiterate that this is not the norm for college life these days... I'm sure it happens, a lot more than we would like to think, but let's not scare this poor parent into not wanting a child in a Greek organization "these days." That's really not fair to the organizations, at all.

[ForeverRoses]

Originally Posted by Benzgirl

I know, it's spooky. Those contrasts came from a 19-year old. She is somewhat disgusted be what she saw in the dorms, but loves college anyway. I am aware of many similar responses from the smaller colleges near my home. The one that completely threw me was when she told me there was a "condom club". I didn't ask her to elaborate

I know this is from the first page, and this thread is on page 7 now, but I do have to comment on the "condom club". My alma mater- Ohio University does have a student run "condom club". They are dedicated to 1) teaching people the correct way to use one 2) providing them to students at cost. In order to get them at cost, a student sits through a presentation (it used to be called condomology) that talks about signs and symptoms of STDs. It is sponsored by student health services.

I don't see it has a huge negative, in fact they try and get the word out about being as safe as possible.

[Lucky SC]

Originally Posted by ForeverRoses

I know this is from the first page, and this thread is on page 7 now, but I do have to comment on the "condom club". My alma mater- Ohio University does have a student run "condom club". They are dedicated to 1) teaching people the correct way to use one 2) providing them to students at cost. In order to get them at cost, a student sits through a presentation (it used to be called condomology) that talks about signs and symptoms of STDs. It is sponsored by student health services.

I don't see it has a huge negative, in fact they try and get the word out about being as safe as possible.

everyone in U101 has to go to a presentation on that at South Carolina. we have the #1 awareness programs from the school and percentages have been going down because of it supposedly.

I don't see whats wrong with getting the people informed either, believe it or not i bet a decent amount of people go into college not knowing how to use a condom

[violetpretty]

You remind me of my aunt who thinks that all teenagers today have rainbow parties after hearing about it on Oprah. She OBVIOUSLY doesn't have kids.

I would say I more closely represent "now" rather than "then" since I graduated in May 2007. I'll provide some commentary.

Originally Posted by Benzgirl

Themed Gatherings:
-Now: Cops and Robbers (girls in booty shorts and low-cut tops with push-up Bras). "_____ and Ho" (Golf Pros and Tennis Hos, Pimp and Ho, CEOs and Office Hos). 80s themes (explained to her that we didn't wear mini skirts up to our ass), Trailer Trash
-Then: Luau, Double-vision, Fiesta, Toga, Disco Fever, Flash Dance, Preppy, Caddy Shack, Casino, Old West.

Mostly accurate. We had a "party like a rockstar", my personal favorite. Also "Halfway to Halloween", "When I grow up", "Disney characters", New Years in November, Heaven and Hell,
Don't forget graffiti and stoplight themes as well. These would usually be fraternity parties rather than a sorority sponsored event.

Originally Posted by Benzgirl

Formals:
-Now: Buy a new dress and jewelry. Have hair and makeup done. Manicure and Pedicure. Rent limo or ride in luxury bus. Afterparty in a hotel suite with a jacuzzi.
-Then: Swap your last formal dress with a sister and borrow jewelry off someone else. Do your own hair and makeup. Paint your nails and maybe your toe nails too. Date meets you at the house and you board one of the busses. Afterparty in someone's off-campus apartment

My formals were much more like the "then". We usually had a dress swap a few weeks before formal, and most of us recycled at least one formal dress from high school (myself included). I don't recall anyone ever getting their hair or makeup professionally done, though we often did each other's hair and makeup. Renting a limo wouldn't fly due to my GLO's RM policies. We took charter buses, I don't know if those qualify as "luxury". Hotel suite in a jacuzzi? Yeah right! I think these differences depend more on the affluence of the school and the chapter members (as well as RM policies) rather than "now and then".

Originally Posted by Benzgirl

Alcohol and Drugs
-Now: Beer and Hard Liquor, Crystal Meth, Crack, Heroin, Ritalin
-Then: Beer, Grain Alcohol, a little pot, Coffee

Maybe I am just sheltered, but I have never seen anything other than alcohol and weed, and never heard about anyone using anything other than alcohol, weed or coke at parties. Or maybe it's a regional difference? A bunch of my sisters had a party with the lacrosse team, who brought coke and my sisters flipped and kicked them out. I have heard of people using Adderall, but not at parties.

Originally Posted by Benzgirl

Sex
-Now: You carry condoms on you at all times and you hook up very casually with anyone, of any sex, and everyone knows. Walk of shame is shamless. Worry is HIV and STDs
-Then (note: AIDS had just been identified): Girls who were pinned and lavaliered spent the night with their BFs, everyone knows. Girl hooks up with someone after a date party and only roommate knows. Walk of Shame was shameful. Worry was pregnancy and STDs

Yes, morals are looser today, but there is A LOT of variation. I am sure every chapter has girls who really get around, girls who are waiting until marriage, and everything in between. I wouldn't say the Walk of Shame is shameless, but humorous. The level of shame would depend on who it was that you hooked up with too.

Originally Posted by Benzgirl

Also,

-Now Cyber Stalking
-Then Catty Bitch down the hall calls you names

Definitely. Thank you facebook and myspace.

Originally Posted by Benzgirl

-Now Crazy Students shoot up classrooms
-Then Crazy Girls shoot you with mace

And this happens at every campus?

[Benzgirl]

Originally Posted by violetpretty

And this happens at every campus?

No it doesn't, but it seems to be (sadly) happening more and more. What is really sad is that students walk around aware that it could happen to them at their school. Schools are required to have so much more security than they did before. I can't even imagine having a 911 system when I was in school.

I only remember one campus shooting in the 80s

[Leslie Anne]

Interesting discussion. From what I've read the only conclusion I can come up with is "it depends on the campus."

However, it was also interesting to read what VioletPretty wrote because she and I went to the same university but I was there 20 years earlier.

Originally Posted by Benzgirl

Themed Gatherings:
-Now: Cops and Robbers (girls in booty shorts and low-cut tops with push-up Bras). "_____ and Ho" (Golf Pros and Tennis Hos, Pimp and Ho, CEOs and Office Hos). 80s themes (explained to her that we didn't wear mini skirts up to our ass), Trailer Trash
-Then: Luau, Double-vision, Fiesta, Toga, Disco Fever, Flash Dance, Preppy, Caddy Shack, Casino, Old West.

Originally Posted by violetpretty

I would say I more closely represent "now" rather than "then" since I graduated in May 2007. I'll provide some commentary.

Mostly accurate. We had a "party like a rockstar", my personal favorite. Also "Halfway to Halloween", "When I grow up", "Disney characters", New Years in November, Heaven and Hell,
Don't forget graffiti and stoplight themes as well. These would usually be fraternity parties rather than a sorority sponsored event.

Twenty years ago, it definitely would have been "then" for me. We did luau, fiesta, preppy, toga, and my personal favorite destination unknown. Dressing skimpily just wasn't done and a "pimps and hos" party? Forget it! Never!

Originally Posted by Benzgirl

Formals:
-Now: Buy a new dress and jewelry. Have hair and makeup done. Manicure and Pedicure. Rent limo or ride in luxury bus. Afterparty in a hotel suite with a jacuzzi.
-Then: Swap your last formal dress with a sister and borrow jewelry off someone else. Do your own hair and makeup. Paint your nails and maybe your toe nails too. Date meets you at the house and you board one of the busses. Afterparty in someone's off-campus apartment

Originally Posted by violetpretty

My formals were much more like the "then". We usually had a dress swap a few weeks before formal, and most of us recycled at least one formal dress from high school (myself included). I don't recall anyone ever getting their hair or makeup professionally done, though we often did each other's hair and makeup. Renting a limo wouldn't fly due to my GLO's RM policies. We took charter buses, I don't know if those qualify as "luxury". Hotel suite in a jacuzzi? Yeah right! I think these differences depend more on the affluence of the school and the chapter members (as well as RM policies) rather than "now and then".

Generally, dress buying was a first year thing. Then you were "stocked up." From there it was dress swapping. Manicures before a formal were fairly common. No limos, because of RM it was all buses. Hotel suites? Yes, but not with jacuzzis. Someone always rented a room at the hotel but it was mostly for drinking and hanging out and, occasionally, for hooking up.

Originally Posted by Benzgirl

Alcohol and Drugs
-Now: Beer and Hard Liquor, Crystal Meth, Crack, Heroin, Ritalin
-Then: Beer, Grain Alcohol, a little pot, Coffee

Originally Posted by violetpretty

Maybe I am just sheltered, but I have never seen anything other than alcohol and weed, and never heard about anyone using anything other than alcohol, weed or coke at parties. Or maybe it's a regional difference? A bunch of my sisters had a party with the lacrosse team, who brought coke and my sisters flipped and kicked them out. I have heard of people using Adderall, but not at parties.

Big difference here. I don't know if it's then versus now or what, but drugs were very much on the scene. That said, I have to credit my sorority with getting me away from drugs. I was living in a rental house with several Greeks and a few non-Greeks. It was drug-central: pot, coke, shrooms, and eventually some crack. I didn't realize the extent of it until years later, but I was basically living with the major supplier of cocaine to the entire Greek system -- a few houses moreso than others.

Acceptance of it varied though. My sorority wasn't into it (of couse there were a few pot-heads on the side.) Another sorority, on the other hand, was heavily into cocaine use. The fraternities pretty much went for anything and everything.

Originally Posted by Benzgirl

Sex
-Now: You carry condoms on you at all times and you hook up very casually with anyone, of any sex, and everyone knows. Walk of shame is shamless. Worry is HIV and STDs
-Then (note: AIDS had just been identified): Girls who were pinned and lavaliered spent the night with their BFs, everyone knows. Girl hooks up with someone after a date party and only roommate knows. Walk of Shame was shameful. Worry was pregnancy and STDs

Originally Posted by violetpretty

Yes, morals are looser today, but there is A LOT of variation. I am sure every chapter has girls who really get around, girls who are waiting until marriage, and everything in between. I wouldn't say the Walk of Shame is shameless, but humorous. The level of shame would depend on who it was that you hooked up with too.

The walk of shame was hugely shameful. Aids was just starting to become a concern but VD was definitely a worry.


So, some things have changed at my campus and some things haven't. What really shocked me was seeing what was going on 20 years later across the country in Southern California. This post is long enough already so I won't go into the details, but what I saw in Los Angeles was truly frightening.

[ΑΓΔSquirrelGirl]

Originally Posted by Benzgirl

We were just discussing this last night with my niece who is a sophomore. She is not Greek, but attends many fraternity parties.

Themed Gatherings:
-Now: Cops and Robbers (girls in booty shorts and low-cut tops with push-up Bras). "_____ and Ho" (Golf Pros and Tennis Hos, Pimp and Ho, CEOs and Office Hos). 80s themes (explained to her that we didn't wear mini skirts up to our ass), Trailer Trash
-Then: Luau, Double-vision, Fiesta, Toga, Disco Fever, Flash Dance, Preppy, Caddy Shack, Casino, Old West.


Formals:
-Now: Buy a new dress and jewelry. Have hair and makeup done. Manicure and Pedicure. Rent limo or ride in luxury bus. Afterparty in a hotel suite with a jacuzzi.
-Then: Swap your last formal dress with a sister and borrow jewelry off someone else. Do your own hair and makeup. Paint your nails and maybe your toe nails too. Date meets you at the house and you board one of the busses. Afterparty in someone's off-campus apartment


Alcohol and Drugs
-Now: Beer and Hard Liquor, Crystal Meth, Crack, Heroin, Ritalin
-Then: Beer, Grain Alcohol, a little pot, Coffee


Sex
-Now: You carry condoms on you at all times and you hook up very casually with anyone, of any sex, and everyone knows. Walk of shame is shamless. Worry is HIV and STDs
-Then (note: AIDS had just been identified): Girls who were pinned and lavaliered spent the night with their BFs, everyone knows. Girl hooks up with someone after a date party and only roommate knows. Walk of Shame was shameful. Worry was pregnancy and STDs

Also,

-Now Cyber Stalking
-Then Catty Bitch down the hall calls you names

-Now Crazy Students shoot up classrooms
-Then Crazy Girls shoot you with mace

Bottom line. It's very different. In some ways it's good (better transportation around campus, the food options are greater, you can email, text or call your friend's cell). It's also bad...too easy to spend time surfing the internet, they get less exercise, it's easier to cheat on tests.

Whoa...my now...
Theme parties/mixers: white trash (the most scandalous thing here seemed to be crop tops), secs and sexecs (same as above), luau (tank tops and jeans, maybe a skirt)...

Formal: Borrow a dress or wear one from high school...buy one if you're lucky. Get sisters to do your make up and hair, go to the formal with everyone, leave with everyone, party after at the local bar or someone's house.

Alcohol/Drugs: The normal booze, and pot here and there (though rarely among any sorority on our campus...it's a good way to get kicked out). I haven't seen coke, acid, or x since high school. I've never run into heroin or meth. And I'll admit it...I've got some VERY sketchy friends.

Sex: Double standard never fails. Girl gets pregnant and married...ok. Girl gets pregnant and doesn't know who the daddy is and people are talking three years later. STDs are a real concern. Sororities get very irritated with blatant sluts. Walk of shame is never taken by a Greek girl unless she wants to relieve the whispers and stares every time she walks into a party. I know of two females who carry condoms with them. Neither are greek...anymore. Go figure.

Cyber stalking? This is a REGULAR occurance?

How often does that happen?

Maybe she needs to REALLY rethink her current school...

[fantASTic]

Originally Posted by Benzgirl

We were just discussing this last night with my niece who is a sophomore. She is not Greek, but attends many fraternity parties.

Themed Gatherings:
-Now: Cops and Robbers (girls in booty shorts and low-cut tops with push-up Bras). "_____ and Ho" (Golf Pros and Tennis Hos, Pimp and Ho, CEOs and Office Hos). 80s themes (explained to her that we didn't wear mini skirts up to our ass), Trailer Trash
-Then: Luau, Double-vision, Fiesta, Toga, Disco Fever, Flash Dance, Preppy, Caddy Shack, Casino, Old West.


Formals:
-Now: Buy a new dress and jewelry. Have hair and makeup done. Manicure and Pedicure. Rent limo or ride in luxury bus. Afterparty in a hotel suite with a jacuzzi.
-Then: Swap your last formal dress with a sister and borrow jewelry off someone else. Do your own hair and makeup. Paint your nails and maybe your toe nails too. Date meets you at the house and you board one of the busses. Afterparty in someone's off-campus apartment


Alcohol and Drugs
-Now: Beer and Hard Liquor, Crystal Meth, Crack, Heroin, Ritalin
-Then: Beer, Grain Alcohol, a little pot, Coffee


Sex
-Now: You carry condoms on you at all times and you hook up very casually with anyone, of any sex, and everyone knows. Walk of shame is shamless. Worry is HIV and STDs
-Then (note: AIDS had just been identified): Girls who were pinned and lavaliered spent the night with their BFs, everyone knows. Girl hooks up with someone after a date party and only roommate knows. Walk of Shame was shameful. Worry was pregnancy and STDs

Also,

-Now Cyber Stalking
-Then Catty Bitch down the hall calls you names

-Now Crazy Students shoot up classrooms
-Then Crazy Girls shoot you with mace

Bottom line. It's very different. In some ways it's good (better transportation around campus, the food options are greater, you can email, text or call your friend's cell). It's also bad...too easy to spend time surfing the internet, they get less exercise, it's easier to cheat on tests.

Themes now: Luau, Naughty Santa at Christmas, the ho ones you mentioned. Rarely does anyone go all out and be completely slutty, though. And it's usually not sorority girls that do it.

Formals now: Wear a dress from high school or swap. Maybe go to Goodwill if you want a new one, or a thrift shop. Do your own hair and makeup or have a sister do it for you. Your date drives you to formal. Party afterwards somewhere else.

Alcohol and drugs now: beer, liquor, maybe weed, but definitely not in front of everyone. People who are doing that are sneaking out and doing it, or going upstairs with someone who lives there.

Sex now: I know of no females who carry condoms. STDs are a concern for girls who hook up, but not really pregnancy. The walk of shame is VERY real.


I think you need to talk to your niece about her life choices, if she thinks these things are okay.

[alum]

OP (since I think you are a Hokie alum based on your alias), the following is for you if your kids end up in VA schools, public or private. In terms of alcohol consumption, law enforcement officials are known to breathalyze suspicious-behavior pedestrians on weekends at many campuses in the Commonwealth of VA.

A couple of college forums that I frequent have had posts from OOS parents who were surprised at the strict MIP interpretation within our fine state.

[lillady85]

Honestly, BG, a lot of what your niece says is kind of over the top. I don't know of a single girl who carries around condoms with her. Yeah, that's my personal experience so it's not a scientific study but there seems to always be a generational gap in what actually is happening out there and what seems to be exaggerated. The walk of shame? Still happens, its out there. A lot has to deal with campus culture as well. My previous college was in the middle of the cornfields and a lot of beer and pot was taken in. My school now? Smoking a joint around the corner of the Sears tower is not going to happen. But it's easier to get heroin in chicago then it is in nowheresville Small state.

As for the school shootings, not to be dismissive nor play them down in any way, but they are NOT a regular occurrence. We've had how many in the past year? But suddenly they are a part of college life? I don't think so.

It just seems that college kids are portrayed as a bunch of meth smoking, gun toting, bisexual, internet addicted boozeheads. A lot of it is just pure exaggeration that scares parents to no end.

Sorry, but its annoying. Especially with what someone said about 'rainbow parties'? Ai. Stop watching Oprah and talk to your kids instead.

[Dionysus]

Originally Posted by lillady85

Honestly, BG, a lot of what your niece says is kind of over the top. I don't know of a single girl who carries around condoms with her. Yeah, that's my personal experience so it's not a scientific study but there seems to always be a generational gap in what actually is happening out there and what seems to be exaggerated. The walk of shame? Still happens, its out there. A lot has to deal with campus culture as well. My previous college was in the middle of the cornfields and a lot of beer and pot was taken in. My school now? Smoking a joint around the corner of the Sears tower is not going to happen. But it's easier to get heroin in chicago then it is in nowheresville Small state .

Ewwww, what kind of nasty girl doesn't carry around condoms with her? She probably has 15 kids and more microbes than a mattress at Motel 6. Girls, look both ways before crossing the streets and crossing the sheets. Be safe, not sorry, USE condoms!

I never understood whats shameful about the Walk of Shame. That means you got some DICK!

Originally Posted by lillady85

It just seems that college kids are portrayed as a bunch of meth smoking, gun toting, bisexual, internet addicted boozeheads. A lot of it is just pure exaggeration that scares parents to no end.

Sorry, but its annoying. Especially with what someone said about 'rainbow parties'? Ai. Stop watching Oprah and talk to your kids instead.

Why do bisexuals have to be grouped with metheads, gun toters, dorky internet addicts? They just want to love.