Dating/effing within your circle of friends

Dionysus · #1 10-22-2007, 04:06 PM

Do you prefer to find dates and/or sex within your circle of friends? Friends of your friends? Or do you prefer to meet people who are strangers?

fantASTic · #2 10-22-2007, 06:24 PM

I prefer to meet people at things I like to do or am involved in.

Example: In class, lives in my apartment complex, plays the same sport and we meet up on the course, etc.

DaemonSeid · #3 10-22-2007, 07:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dionysus

Do you prefer to find dates and/or sex within your circle of friends? Friends of your friends? Or do you prefer to meet people who are strangers?

just a warning...never sh*t where you have to sleep....some things just don't mix well

Dionysus · #4 10-22-2007, 08:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DaemonSeid

just a warning...never sh*t where you have to sleep....some things just don't mix well

I agree. It's really tempting, but that just make things so awkward. It seems that I'm in the minority, many people I know would date and fuck within their circle at the drop of a hat.

squirrely girl · #5 10-22-2007, 08:18 PM

i would say strangers or friends of friends. the more removed the better. when things are too good, you end up doing your own thing more and that can suck for groups of friends. and, on the other hand, when things go bad, it can really screw a group too. i hate watching either of those happen...

PrettyBoy · #6 10-22-2007, 08:54 PM

It doesn't matter to me, as long as she's a "one man" woman and not a whore that's screwed every joker she's met.

AlethiaSi · #7 10-23-2007, 10:04 AM

I try not to date or eff around within my circle of friends, it never works out well, hurt feelings, messed up friendships, etc. It's happened before.

friends of friends? If we hit it off, absolutely, but it doesn't happen that often... I think my friends are just losers with loser friends

I don't necessarily prefer to date strangers, i think i'd rather have an "endorsement" from a friend.

KSUViolet06 · #8 10-23-2007, 11:17 AM

I like to date people whom I know from similar activites/interests that are not in my circle of friends. For example, I'd date a guy that know from classes or church (or some other large-scale environment like that), but not one that hangs around with me and my friends.

PrettyBoy · #9 10-23-2007, 09:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Knoxstudent

"one man" woman
Yeah, they can be hard to find. They do exist though.

Oh yeah, they do exist, just not like they did back in the day. It's too much FWB going on now a days.

christiangirl · #10 10-24-2007, 01:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Knoxstudent

"one man" woman
Yeah, they can be hard to find. They do exist though.

We sure do. Where are the "one woman" men?

I'm more likely to date a stranger now, but in high school and college, we always stayed within our circle of friends (at school and at church). We didn't like to date outside that limited pool of people and all circled around until everybody had been to dinner and a movie with everybody else. I didn't really date, but the two boys I did were in the circle. Now that I'm older, that seems ridiculous and pretty much only date men I don't have links to.

PrettyBoy · #11 10-24-2007, 09:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by christiangirl

Where are the "one woman" men?

All over the place.

A lot of women just don't want those kind of men now a days. They're outdated. It's these low down bad boy jokers who are the in thing. All they want is the nookie and not the woman.

REE1993 · #12 10-23-2007, 11:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dionysus

Do you prefer to find dates and/or sex within your circle of friends? Friends of your friends? Or do you prefer to meet people who are strangers?

I read this about five times before I decided to respond, because I just didn't know what to say. I had never seen the term "effing" written out before, and it made me giggle and gasp at the same time.

Now, I haven't dated in 13 years (been married for 10!), so things are a little more carefree than they were when I was single, but I have some experience dating both within and out of my circle of friends. In HS, we dated each other's exes, but we didn't have very physical relationships. We were the youth group kids in Catholic school, honor students, with very strict parents.

In college, it became too complicated to date within your circle, because relationships were much more complicated. So you met through class, organizations, etc.

I can't answer for anything outside of that. I married a few years after college, to someone i had met in college (though we were older when we graduated).

I think it's a personal decision, a very different decision with each person/potential partner. I don't think there is a hard and fast rule. Consideration and respect bode well no matter what you do, and you are old enough to be aware of consequences.

So....long answer is that it's up to you, based on each individual situation.

Infamous12 · #13 10-23-2007, 02:23 PM

I cannot date a stranger*, stranger meaning someone without a link/friend or 'endorsement' (Thanks Alethiasi

) I have to either know this person through personal connection i.e. we go/used to go to school, work, church together. OR a good friend must know them and be able to serve as a reference for them.

I've dated a person in my circle before - unless you're absolutely sure it's going to work - DO NOT DO IT. The headache is not worth the strain on the friendships, it affects not just the two involved but the rest of the circle as well.

<---- Idiot girl who attempted to date a best friend but didn't really feel it and now fears the friendship may be totally gone...

Though he 'claims' he doesn't hate me.

AlethiaSi · #14 10-23-2007, 02:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Infamous12

I cannot date a stranger*, stranger meaning someone without a link/friend or 'endorsement' (Thanks Alethiasi

) I have to either know this person through personal connection i.e. we go/used to go to school, work, church together. OR a good friend must know them and be able to serve as a reference for them.

I've dated a person in my circle before - unless you're absolutely sure it's going to work - DO NOT DO IT. The headache is not worth the strain on the friendships, it affects not just the two involved but the rest of the circle as well.

<---- Idiot girl who attempted to date a best friend but didn't really feel it and now fears the friendship may be totally gone...

Though he 'claims' he doesn't hate me.

lol we can also call it a "recommendation" but i like endorsement better

awww that sucks, i went through something like that, and it broke up the whole group.... i'm so sorry, i hope it works out, meaning you guys can be friends

Infamous12 · #15 10-23-2007, 02:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlethiaSi

lol we can also call it a "recommendation" but i like endorsement better

awww that sucks, i went through something like that, and it broke up the whole group.... i'm so sorry, i hope it works out, meaning you guys can be friends

Yeah...'endorsement'. I think I'll tell my boyfriend that now - "Honey, you were a part of an endorsement deal. " LOL.

The whole group (about 5 of us) knows our entire background story and everything. The other girl in the group, my personal bestest girl friend, was never too keen on the idea of me and him anyway - she knew I didn't feel it and was only trying to force myself to feel it because he was my friend. Which in turn was me sacrificing what I felt for the sake of his feelings. Not good at all. It'll be fine though. The boys and her are trying to hook him up with somebody to get his mind off of me, lol. Bad thing is, his crush has been accumulating speed since we were in junior high...so yeah.

Thankfully the rest of the group kinda' ignores it, lol, and loves me and him just the same. We just can't have any 'family dinners' until he's comfortable with me....which sounds like it'll be around November...of 08.