Who here knows what it's like to go without?

[MeezDiscreet]

My pastor always raises this question when he's testifying about God's grace and mercy and I can really feel him because I grew up poor. My family struggled up until I was about a freshman in high school so I learned about sacrifice.

How many of yall feel me? Share!!

I can remember a time when I went to my mom crying because all of the other girls at school brought Barbies to play with and laughed at me because I didn't have one. She had to explain to me that her and my dad just couldn't afford it. I played like I understood but I was still sad. The next day, before she took us to school, she stopped at Eckerd's. She wouldn't let us go in with her and we didn't know why we stopped because going was out of the way for us. She took us on to school and before I got out, she handed me something. She went in and bought me a doll so I could fit in. It wasn't fancy (yall know the type of toys you get at a drugstore) but when I think back on it, that was one of the sweetest things. I actually teared up typing this.

[treblk]

You know, I had a similar conversation with a Soror friend not too long ago, and how we discussed that we all have our own levels and understanding of what poor is or what going without is.

I remember having to wear my clothes more than one day a week, because I didn't have enough clothes nor could my parents, working 4 jobs between the two of them, afford to clothes all of us like they wanted and I remember being teases when I was in the 7th grade. This boy I like even wrote in my year book (yes we had yearbooks in Jr. High?middle school) that though he thought I was a nice person, I stunk and that I should change my clothes. Talk about hurtful and a beating on the ole self-esteem.

[MeezDiscreet]

One of my supposed friends asked me one day when we were in the 7th grade, "So what you wearing tomorrow? The brown pants?" I know I told her something good but that really hurt my feelings because I thought "If my 'FRIEND' is saying this to me, what are other people saying about me?"

I think that may have been when I truly understood my family's finances. When my mom bought that doll for me, I was young and didn't really understand. And that's what I'm thankful for--we were poor but my sister, brother and I didn't even know it.

I knew my dad didn't get up early like my mom to go to work (he had his own engineering firm that didn't really take off until about '94) but I knew he prayed A LOT, worked in the church and taught Sunday School. I can remember being young and someone asking me what my dad did for a living and I told them "He works for God."

We also thought it was fun to eat pancakes for dinner but when I got older, I realized that was because you could feed a family of 5 for at least 3 meals on a $3 box of pancake mix.

People from church or my mom's job would also give us food--especially snacks during the times when we didn't go to school like Christmas break and summer break. I just thought everyone loved us a lot. They did but when I got older, I realized that they were trying to help my parents out.

[Still BLUTANG]

i remember when i was younger my parents had one car between the two of them, this beat up old datsun. it was old and beat up for as long as i could remember. i mean, i remember us being broke down on the side of the road at age 5 and broke down in the same car at 15... LOL. they had it from the time i was in day care until about maybe 10th grade - i remember (selfishly) being glad it finally died around the time i was supposed to start learning how to drive.

i am having trouble as i type this figuring out exactly how my parents did the one car switch-off. i remember getting up in the middle of the night (JUST when i finally went to sleep) so my mom could pick up my dad from work. Then waking up early in the morning so my dad could drop my mom off at the bus stop. i guess my dad would park at the metro and ride the train TO work, and then when my mom got off she rode to the metro to pick up the car.

it hurts my heart right now just thinking about it because my parents would go out of their way to make sure i had a ride no matter where i needed to go, and they would offer a ride to my friends if they needed it... however the favor was NEVER returned. There were many days i was late to activities and the last kid picked up from school or rehersals. my parents made it a priority that i would be able to have those experiences (band, ballet, choir, etc), even though that meant they had to play this ridiculous scheduling game.

this might not seem like a huge hardship, but we lived out in the middle of the county before metro buses made convenient stops and waaay before the train stations extended out here.

[OneTimeSBX]

MeezDiscreet, i might tear up a bit too on this...

my parents made the decision to be a single income family. dad worked, mom stayed home with us (im the oldest of 3 girls). at the time i didnt understand. we wore hand me downs, ate oatmeal and drank powdered milk... mom was the most talented person ive ever met for coming up with different dishes each night to eat. we always ate as a family, never once missing a meal. sure, i was super jealous growing up, there was so much i wanted and couldnt have. they taught us early on there was no Santa, so that we wouldnt be disappointed at christmas time.

we were not quite poor, not quite broke...we never recieved any type of government assistance, we never went to school dirty or hungry. and we also never knew we had no money. my parents made sure to hide that from us and raise us comfortably, where all our necessities were met. last year i found my parents taxes from 87 and i think my dad made close to 10k. total.

i didnt appreciate it at the time, but now i know how to go without. and even though i do well for my family, my fiance was raised the same way, and we make sure not to give our daughter everything she wants. i appreciate more. i give more. i expect less and prepare for the worst. it made me better.

[MeezDiscreet]

Originally Posted by OneTimeSBX

they taught us early on there was no Santa, so that we wouldnt be disappointed at christmas time.

<--- same here!!!

Originally Posted by OneTimeSBX

we were not quite poor, not quite broke...we never recieved any type of government assistance, we never went to school dirty or hungry. and we also never knew we had no money. my parents made sure to hide that from us and raise us comfortably, where all our necessities were met.

You're telling my story!!!

[mulattogyrl]

I can relate to this. My gym teacher was nice enough to buy my sneakers in 5th grade, because my parents couldn't afford them. I remember, they were blue and grey Nikes . My family didn't have a phone until I was in middle school, no cable until the middle of high school. I really had to find stuff to do when I was a child, lol. I used to write down my outfits for the week so I would make sure to mix and match what I had, because they were the same clothes from last week.

It just makes me so thankful now when I do have. I have to check myself when I'm on a 'tight budget' now and complain that I might not have money to eat out or buy a new outfit, because I'm paying the rent, I have cable with HBO and all that jazz, I have a home phone and a cell phone...I'm doing a lot better than I was when I was a child, and I should be grateful for that.

We spend so much on frivilous things nowadays, we really don't realize how much we DON'T need what we think we do.

I still love to eat breakfast for dinner, though!

[Boom_Quack13]

Originally Posted by MeezDiscreet

My pastor always raises this question when he's testifying about God's grace and mercy and I can really feel him because I grew up poor. My family struggled up until I was about a freshman in high school so I learned about sacrifice.

How many of yall feel me? Share!!

I can remember a time when I went to my mom crying because all of the other girls at school brought Barbies to play with and laughed at me because I didn't have one. She had to explain to me that her and my dad just couldn't afford it. I played like I understood but I was still sad. The next day, before she took us to school, she stopped at Eckerd's. She wouldn't let us go in with her and we didn't know why we stopped because going was out of the way for us. She took us on to school and before I got out, she handed me something. She went in and bought me a doll so I could fit in. It wasn't fancy (yall know the type of toys you get at a drugstore) but when I think back on it, that was one of the sweetest things. I actually teared up typing this.

I teared up reading it.

I am one of six, so things were kind of lean for us at times too.

[ChanelLover]

I can't say that I know what its like to go without. I grew up in a upper middle class home and we just didn't struggle. For a while, when I was younger, I was like these kids you see on My Sweet 16, etc. I guess its part of the maturing process and/or the fact that when I went to college I met and become friends with people who were totally different from me, I think that I have become a better person. I realize that I don't like who I used to be(stuck-up, bougie, unsympathetic, cold, etc. ).I am so appreciative of the things that the Lord and my parents provided for me. Reading some of these stories, brought a tear to my eyes also, because I realize how blessed I have been and how easily things could have been on the other foot.

I really don't know any of you personally, but I believe that the Lord wouldn't give you anything that you couldn't handle. And these expierences have probably made you into stong, independent, successful women.

Sorry its so long!!

I have experienced just about everything that has been mentioned in this thread. I grew up very poor. My brothers and I also had to wear the same pants more than once in a one week because we didn't have a lot of clothes. We also had our utilities shut off many times, didn't have a vehicle many times, and couldn't participate in a lot of school activities that required money. Once I got older, my mother shared with me how she had to shoplift for baby food and milk when my older brother and I were babies.

Even though we didn't have a lot, my mother always made sure that the few clothes we had were always clean, and we always had food to eat.

Growing up poor has allowed me to appreciate all of the blessings that I have received, and how far I have come. Yes, I am on a VERY tight budget right now, but my childhood and life struggles have made me the strong, independent woman I am today.

[Dionysus]

I only experienced something like this a short period in my life (15-16), but it was still awful and I still rememeber everything about it.

-My parents pawned everything under the sun.
-Selling our nice sunday outfits to consignment shops.
-Car reprossesions.
-My dad selling baked goods and hot tamales without a license.
-I remember my mom getting really sick, but wouldn't get treated because she had no health insurance....wait maybe she had insurance but couldn't afford the co-pay. Something like that.
-Piling 5-7 people in a raggedy cadillac

Sorta funny looking back at it, but wasn't funny at all when we experienced it.

[Wonderful1908]

I did not experience this as a child but as an adult. We went through a very hard time for about a year. I had to pawn alot, I even pawned my wedding rings, my son broke his arm in between me transferring jobs and he had no medical care, so we couldn't even take him to get the permanent cast fitted. I couldn't even fill his $10 prescription of motrin. We had no water for a couple of weeks, we were just trying to hold onto to our house and live. My car was tripping my husbands car was broke, it was horrible. This wasn't in the all so distant past......

So I am humbled and grateful for all that I have and I appreciate it now. This is probably why my husband tries to spoil me now, he feels guilty for what happended. However looking at us from the outside you would have never guessed in a million years.

So God is faithful and so good to me. He keeps his promises and is a redeemer. I went today and got me feet and nails done, went to the mall and spent $300, and came home in my BMW. I say that not to brag but to confirm God answers prayers and moves us out of lonely and bad situations.

[KAPital PHINUst]

Oh, I most definately know what it's like to go without. Having to forego field trips due to lack of funds, oh yeah. Utility disconnections, been there done that (electric disconnection Monday Sept 9, 1985 that lasted 4 days, and gas shut off due to old pipes and water heater system 9/28/89 that lasted about 3 weeks).

Having to scrape up change to buy a 43 cent pack of Hostess Chip Flips (which were IMHO so delicious) or a 25 cent Little Debbie oatmeal cream pie (this was circa 1983-85).


I remember being promised an allowance of 30 cents for each time I emptied a “loaded” mousetrap (and amassing close to $10—in 1982 dollars, mind you, within a month’s time that my mother never paid me for). Subsequently, I never had to empty any more mousetraps after that. About a year later, I was given an allowance of $1 per week and was paid every 2 weeks—which lasted maybe a couple of months before that came to an end. I received for my 10th birthday a whopping $2.25 in cash—6 months later I visited my Aunt Rozina in Pittsburgh and she game me $5 for no reason at all. I thought I was big ballin’ for a kid.

I was so accustomed to making chump change, if I ever had over $10 in my pocket at any given time; I thought I was a millionaire (or close to it).

When I was 12 years old, I amassed $15 in birthday money so I opened up my first savings account at Bank Ohio (now National City) and got my own little bankbook. I thought I was the MAN—until the bank started charging my account $5 a month in bogus service fees. My mother promptly closed the account and reimbursed me the $5. What the fuss kinda gangster mess was that? A big bank such as Bank Ohio charging a kid such bogus fees. Was someone on the pipe to be doing stuff like that?


Wearing clothes from Charity Newsies, did that too. Having food with the white box and black lettering that just said "CEREAL" or "BEANS" ala Chris Rock's stand-up bit, I can relate, and not just the government-issued food, but from a now-defunct chain supermarket called Big Bear that had no-name brand food.

Buying groceries on credit from a corner store called Little Giant, (I bet some of you young folk didn't know you could do such a thing). My family went off welfare in 1986 and I felt a burden being lifted off the family as a result.

I remember being “upgraded” from free to reduced price school lunches in 10th grade. I also remember at the age of 14 being denied a summer job via my city’s Private Industry Council because my family made too much money. I actually found that denial a thinly veiled compliment and was actually flattered.

I also remember eating free box lunches in the summertime at the local Recreation and Parks summer program at the local playgrounds and recreation centers. Does any other city besides mine have something to that effect? You gotta love those turkey sandwiches that smelled like someone’s B.O.

I remember as a teenager, my appetite starting to grow. Those portions Mom gave me as a kid wasn't cutting it anymore. The one thing I remember inventing to eat to hold me over until dinner was a "spice pizza", which was a slice of toasted bread with ketchup, numerous spices from the spice cabinet (chili powder, onion powder, etc.) salami bits, and government cheese all toasted in the toaster oven and served hot. Delicious!!

But for what it was worth, my family did without many things, but we were never evicted, and we never went hungry. Praise God.

[MeezDiscreet]

When I was in elementary school and would get out of school, if my dad wasn't home, I would go to my neighbor's house. I had to call my mom as soon as I got there everyday and she would just ask how was school and we would talk for about 5 to 10 minutes about my day while she was at work. One day, she made it a point to tell me to make sure I did all of my homework while I was at my neighbor's house. When my parents got home (we had one car and my mom would ride the bus to work and my dad would pick her up from work), I found out why--our lights were out. My mother's strength through those times was so unflappable because as we talked, there was no hint of concern. It just seemed like our ordinary conversations.

[Senusret I]

I know what it's like to go without.

Never again.