Dropping letters, engagement, ect.

ARSigmaNu · #1 06-26-2007, 10:04 AM

Hey guys (and girls!) I have found the love of my life, and I would like to learn what the steps are twards engagement as far as dropping letters, candle lights, ect. We've been dating since first semester of freshman year, and we're starting our junior year. What are the first steps? I'm just completely clueless about what to do, and not too many of my brothers care about this stuff too much, so I really need to know my shit so I can get them behind me.

Thanks so much!

alum · #2 06-26-2007, 10:11 AM

1. Lavaliere
2. Pin
3. Engagement Ring

kathykd2005 · #3 06-26-2007, 10:13 AM

Congratulations!!! A good way to move ahead with your plan is to ask questions on here, but why not email HQ to see what they think? I'm sure they would be very happy to help you. There are so many different ways to do this, that it would be almost impossible to say, unless it's only done one way by your GLO. Good luck!!!

Kevin · #4 06-26-2007, 10:16 AM

HQ would tell you that it varies from chapter to chapter.

kathykd2005 · #5 06-26-2007, 10:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kevin

HQ would tell you that it varies from chapter to chapter.

But I'm sure they could throw out some hints, no?

adpiucf · #6 06-26-2007, 10:29 AM

It really just depends on you and what you want to do.

At some campuses, lavalieres are presented (a letter drop with your letters) as a way to show committment.

At others, you present her with your fraternity pin. Some organizations also have a "sweetheart pin" you can give to her.

And at still others, one may first "lavaliere" the lady, and then at a later date, present her with his pin/sweetheart pin.

If she is in a sorority, you may want to organize a serenade with your brothers and present it to her. Or give it to her on a romantic date.

You can bypass all of these things, of course, and propose to her or give her a promise ring, depending on "where you are" in the relationship. It just depends on what you feel comfortable with.

If you'd like to be married by the end of your senior year, most brides like about 1 year to plan the wedding, so if that is what you have in mind, plan accordingly if you'd like to propose to her.

minDyG · #7 06-27-2007, 02:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by adpiucf

If you'd like to be married by the end of your senior year, most brides like about 1 year to plan the wedding, so if that is what you have in mind, plan accordingly if you'd like to propose to her.

That's a pretty broad generalization. If I had taken an entire year to plan my wedding I would have been bored to tears. I think it only takes a year if it's going to be a grand affair.

On the other hand, to the OP, I think it's awesome that you're so in love with your girlfriend! She is obviously a lucky lady. Good luck with whatever you decide!

ARSigmaNu · #8 06-26-2007, 10:27 AM

Thanks for the help guys, what are some of the traditions that yall do at your chapters?

I'm also a little fuzzy on what is actually involved in dropping the pin? Do I not get to wear it again?

Kevin · #9 06-26-2007, 10:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ARSigmaNu

Thanks for the help guys, what are some of the traditions that yall do at your chapters?

I'm also a little fuzzy on what is actually involved in dropping the pin? Do I not get to wear it again?

Let's be clear on "pinning." They make little tokens.. either fake gold, gold plated or solid gold sets of letters that can be attached to a chain. That's okay.

What's not okay is to let her wear your badge (unless you get engaged). Girlfriends do not get to wear the badge. Fiancees, mothers and sisters do.

I've been in on a lot of "droppings." My favorite was where basically the whole chapter rolled out to Bricktown (an entertainment area in OKC with a riverwalk, numerous clubs, etc.) I brought my fiddle... The member we did it for arranged that he and his gf would be walking one way down the sidewalk, us the other. We ran into them, and serenaded 'em with Green Day's "Time of Your Life." I think one guy had a guitar.. I did the violin part. Anyway.. she enjoyed that.

As I said though, it varies from place to place. If you're part of the recolonization effort at Arkansas, you can either talk to some alums and find out what they did and do that so long as it's legal.. Or you can just make up your own thing.

ARSigmaNu · #10 06-26-2007, 10:55 AM

Thanks, Kevin. I'd pretty much say that we are recolonized here in Arkansas. Got a brand new house that will be finished this fall right across from the student entrance to the stadium. She's a beaut. You'll have to swing by and visit sometime.

I gave her a promise ring for christmas last year, and I think that I'll be setting up some sort of singing for her and give her the lavaliere this fall. Just to make sure that I am clear on the language here, "dropping your letters" is the necklace that I give her with my letters (SN) on it, correct?

FYI, she is also greek, a beautiful ADPi from Texas. Still haven't figured out how she ended up here at Arkansas and in love with me, but I'm not complaining!!!

adpiucf · #11 06-26-2007, 12:50 PM

There's a sweetheart pin you can order from Sigma Nu. Check out your national web site. It's basically your same badge, but in miniature.

ARADPi05 · #12 10-07-2007, 02:23 AM

Candlelights are not ritual and although typically done in the private of our house, the recent no-flame policy has made us have them outside on our lawn. They are still intimate, but definitely not secret affairs. You sound like an amazing guy and I'm sure that my sister will love whatever you end up doing for her.

SnuKnight172 · #13 10-11-2007, 04:49 PM

In our chapter we take it to an even more drastic extreme. We don't allow anyone to even wear our letters. Lavelering is not an option in our house. Once a year we elect sweethearts @ White Rose and those are the only women outside of Fiances, Wives, Mothers, and Sisters that are allowed to wear letters or the badge, in these situations they most be given to the woman by her connection to the Fraternity. We have had situations in the past where brothers were dating the younger/older sister of a fellow brothers and the dating brother made the mistake of giving a set of letters (Sweatshirt)to the sister (thinking it would be ok because she was another bros sister). Our initial chapter involvement in a relationship is singing to the new bride on her wedding day.

To each chapter their own I guess.

Good luck with your relationship, a little over a year into my marriage I can say, with all of my heart, that proposing to my wife was the greatest decision of my life and with out te Greek System we would have never meet.