Should I rush?

[icicle22]

Hey, I've been thinking quite a while about possibly rushing next semester, but I have brought it up with my parents and they don't really like the whole idea of me even joining a sorority. I've tried to explain to them that I only want to do it because I want to meet people and get involved in campus life, but of course my parents don't really understand that...they're focusing too much on the typical sorority stereotype.
So, what should I do? Should I just go ahead and rush next semester...or should I not?

[Senusret I]

Depends.....are they paying for it?

[icicle22]

Well, at this point, they most likely would be...of course, I'm also worried about the expenses as well.

[KSUViolet06]

Unfortunately, if they are paying, then you do have to consider their input. If you can figure out a way to pay for it yourself, you don't have to worry about it.

[aephi alum]

My parents weren't too thrilled about the idea of my joining a sorority either. They thought that GLOs were all about partying and getting drunk. So, the deal was that I had to pay my own sorority dues and keep my GPA up.

I'd say that if you're prepared to pay your own dues (keep in mind that they can be steep, especially your first semester), go ahead and rush. You're an adult.

[epchick]

My parents, especially my mom, was dead-set against me joining a sorority. She had that typical sorority stereotype in her head. My parents also would be the ones paying the dues, but I knew it was something I wanted.

My advice...sign up for recruitment. Explain to your parents what the sororities at your school are--their philanthropies, etc. When you go through recruitment, they should have a breakdown of dues (usually, if not, ask for a ballpark estimate) and then give that to your parents. Yes, the first year is HELLA (lol) expensive, but its totally worth it.

If after you discuss this with them, and they still are adament about not paying for it, or whatnot, then you can drop out of recruitment. I know its not the best way to go about it, but that is what I did. My parents saw how committed I was to making it work, and my mom finally told me that it would be something good for me

[icicle22]

Yeah I was kind of thinking the same thing too...they have said before that if I want to sign up for recruitment I should. They were like "Go ahead"...so I guess I will, and see how it goes.

[indygphib]

Originally Posted by epchick

My parents, especially my mom, was dead-set against me joining a sorority. She had that typical sorority stereotype in her head. My parents also would be the ones paying the dues, but I knew it was something I wanted.

My advice...sign up for recruitment. Explain to your parents what the sororities at your school are--their philanthropies, etc. When you go through recruitment, they should have a breakdown of dues (usually, if not, ask for a ballpark estimate) and then give that to your parents. Yes, the first year is HELLA (lol) expensive, but its totally worth it.

If after you discuss this with them, and they still are adament about not paying for it, or whatnot, then you can drop out of recruitment. I know its not the best way to go about it, but that is what I did. My parents saw how committed I was to making it work, and my mom finally told me that it would be something good for me

Ditto with what happened with me and my folks. They agreed that I could go through recruitment as long as I paid my own dues and kept my grades up.

Icicle22: Perhaps you could work out a similar arrangement with your parents? Once my folks saw how happy I was living in-house AND keeping up my grades, they definitely softened their stance and, as a pleasant surprise to me, ended up being active in the parents' club.

[icicle22]

Well, that would work. My parents can get rather worried about my grades, so it would make sense if I told them that I would keep my grades up. I probably wouldn't mind paying my own dues, since I considered that at the beginning. I would have to work, though, and save my money.

[PeppyGPhiB]

We didn't have houses on my campus, so I'm not sure if this is correct thinking or not, but doesn't living in a sorority house often cost around the same amount as living in a dorm? Of course dues and first year fees are additional factors, but aren't they worth it?

I paid all my fees and dues for my four years as a collegiate, so I guess I don't understand why so many women rely on their parents to pay for it. You're in college now, and an adult. You should be making your own decisions based on what you really want and what you're willing to do to get it. If you really want it, and your parents won't pay for it, can you get a job?

[EGAOPi]

Unfortunately, there will always be stereotypes about every group of people and social sororities and fraternities get a bad rep from those that don't know much about the Greek system. I understand your parents' concern, particularly because they'd likely be funding your experience. However, if it's important to you, spend some time researching sororities, the role they play in your school and community, their philanthropies, etc.
A lot of times, opposition stems from ignorance. If they don't know any of the merits, of COURSE they're going to think sororities are all about partying (which they definitely are not).

Sit down with them and tell them why you're really interested. Go online with them and show them the websites of chapters at your school --or national websites! They can read about all of the GOOD that sororities do.

If you need someone here to list the merits (so you can get input from sisters), let us know!

Also, if they're concerned about grades, talk to them about how sororities can actually HELP with grades. Of course, sororities provide strong social networks so there are more opportunities to go out and party, hang out, and so forth, but all Panhellenic sororities require a minimum GPA to stay in the sorority and many require mandatory study hours. Sorority membership provides a great incentive to keep up with grades because you can go on academic monitoring or probation within the sorority if you don't keep them up...so basically, if you like going to socials and all of those great perks, you're inspired to work hard!

Also, sorority meetings and events can teach you a lot about responsibility, etiquette, networking, and dealing with groups of people. You can take on officer positions and be a role model and a leader within your organization and university. I have definitely grown tremendously since I joined my sorority.

Of course, we DO have socials and we do have a lot of fun! But that's not all that the sorority is about...that's only a part of it...so make sure your parents know this.

If you try really hard and show them the great things sorority life has to offer and that still doesn't work...try taking them to an information night so they can learn more about it firsthand.

If nothing works, work and pay for it. Trust me--it is definitely worth it. I always hear fellow Greeks saying, "If I paid for my friends, I surely didn't pay enough" and for me, that is so, so true.

Good luck and I hope you do go through recruitment. Let us know what you end up doing!

[GreekGirl06]

I would do it. The way I look at the entire rush process, even if you don't get a bid. You will make lots of friends with other people that you meet through the whole process for instance, I've been at my university for four years and I'm still interested in going Greek as a result. I now have over 200 friends that are Greek, and I still haven't received the bid into a house. It's about the people you meet even if you don't get accepted into the Greek community. They know that I will be rushing every semester and I'm not worried whether or not they think I'm crazy for going through rush. Hopefully one day, I will get in is n. In my head. It's only a matter of time before the bid is extended,

[BabyPiNK_FL]

I rushed and didn't tell my parents (they didn't want me to join anything) but a) I was 20-21 at the time of pledging b) I didn't expect them to (directly) pay for it, c) I was living on campus (normally I commute) at the time so it was easy to hide and d) i didn't expect them to pay for it (directly). If you, yourself, and you can fund it and you're over 18 then when you are ready to rush, then go ahead, but since you're concerned about grades, save up your spare finaid or pocket change, etc. so that way you don't have to worry about what anyone think when the time comes.

p.s. my mom found out after initiation when I came home to stay over the break (the dorms were empty ) by then I didn't care and she didn't get mad because there wasn't anything she could do, but she doesn't like it and calls it "my cult" and i wear "cult shirts" and sing "cult songs" so be prepared for some kind of backlash!

hope i helped!

[Ocalagirl]

Well coming from a pretty much non-greek family, they weren't against it, but were not totally for it. I tried to explain to them why I was going for it, but they had seen my aunt join a GLO, grades drop, and she dropped out of college and they thought this was how it was going to be like. And because I didn't receive a bid, my mom is even now more against it than ever. She doesn't understand why I would want to go through the humiliation and work of going through recruitment again when I pretty much have a slim chance of getting in. I am going through again because I want to know the bonds of sisterhood in some shape or form...I encourage everyone I know to go greek (if they know they would be willing to do it). I hope your parents understand and you are able to go through with it.
Good luck, Ocalagirl

[violetpretty]

It depends how low your grades are and how competitive your school's greek community is. If you are below the panhellenic required GPA, wait until you get your grades up. If you are just at the minimum for many of the chapters, then go ahead and sign up. You have nothing to lose. Worst case scenario is that you will have met a bunch of new people and have extra motivation to imporve your grades for the fall.

Have you talked with your parents yet?