Depledging Then Rushing Again

OneLove719 · #1 11-13-2006, 11:21 PM

Hey all,

I've been on this board for awhile, but I finally decided to make a name and post. I've read topics pertaining to this question, but I'd really like to share my concerns and perhaps talk to someone through PM.

My name is Samantha and I am currently a sophomore at a university in the north with deferred rush. Long story short, I depledged the group I joined because I was very unhappy with my group, not greek life in general. Since then, a lot of things in my life have improved and I would like to rush again.

My question is, should I tell my Rho Chi my story before rush starts, and ask her how the sororities might react in response to my depledging?

Also, if anyone would like to PM me I would be more than happy to answer any questions! In fact, I would love to privately share my circumstances and reasons for depledging, but I do not want to give any information that might give away which school I go to or who I am. So please, I could use any advice!

Thank you all!

<3 Samantha

Drolefille · #2 11-13-2006, 11:50 PM

It can depend on the school. At some schools you can rush again no problem and get a bid. Some you will have difficulty getting a bid because you're a sophomore. Some will kind of shun you if you depledged.

But, asking the question, and explaining your situation to your Rho Chi is a good idea. I'd make sure you don't ask one who's from whatever chapter you depledged (assuming you remember the women well enough). Be prepared to answer the questions if you are asked about it during rush: Why did you depledge? What's changed that you think you'll be ok with pledging now? Etc.

And go through recruitment, but with an open mind. Your options may be more limited, but you also may find a better fit for you.

OneLove719 · #3 11-13-2006, 11:55 PM

Thank you for responding!

At my school, there are plenty of sophomores who get bids. So that fact alone should not hurt me very much.

When I'm talking to the girls, should I bring up the fact I depledged, say, if they ask why I didn't rush last year? Or should I wait for them to mention it?

Drolefille · #4 11-14-2006, 12:06 AM

I wouldn't bring it up unless they ask about last year/rush etc. Don't lie about it. They almost certainly already know so not fessing up just looks shady. But don't make it the focus of your conversation either.

"Hi, I'm OneLove and I pledged XYZ etc." is not exactly the best conversation topic to start on

violetpretty · #5 11-14-2006, 12:10 AM

Right, definitely don't center conversation around it, but chances are that a sister will ask you why you decided to go through recruitment. This would be an appropriate time to talk about your situation.

EGAOPi · #6 11-14-2006, 02:35 AM

I definitely understand your situation and I've seen this happen to girls in the past.
One of my good friends went thru recruitment last year as a freshman and got a bid from a sorority that she wasn't really into. She tried really hard and never really made that connection so after a little while, she decided to depledge.
She cited money reasons instead of admitting that she didn't feel at home no matter how hard she tried. Part of the thing was that she just wasn't ready. She ended up enjoying her first year without being a part of Greek Life by knew the ultimately she'd rush again.
She went thru fall recruitment again this year (as a sophomore), and things worked out very well. She got her top choice sorority this year and absolutely loves them. Some girls asked her if she went thru before because she looked familiar and she told her she did and explained her situation without going into too much detail or insulting the other sorority she was previously in. The girls understood and invited her back everyday. She actually got asked back to all but one of her top choice sororities every day.
Some girls didn't even ask her about it. It's normal for sophomores to go thru, so it doesn't really raise that question as often (at least not here).
If someone does outright ask you about it, be honest but don't go into extreme detail. Just say something like, "I went thru last year and got a bid but I didn't find my home. It truly wasn't the place for me and I wasn't really ready at that point, but now I am and I'm really excited about this experience and I now know what I want out of a sorority, so I'm looking forward to this opportunity"...something along those lines. You can make it into a quick sentence so you know what to tell everyone.
Good luck to you and please let us know how it goes...it's wonderful to hear you're interested in finding a home this time around. I hope it all works out!
<3

breezydz · #7 12-19-2006, 03:18 PM

i just pm'ed you..

SouthernChic · #8 01-07-2007, 01:22 PM

Please forgive me if my post is repetitive of other posts on this message board, but I would like to get some advice from other members on this... My daughter is in a similar situation. She began her freshman year this past fall and went through recruitment and pledged her first choice sorority. She absolutely loved the girls and was having a wonderful experience, and then she became very ill and had to medically withdraw from the university. She was unable to initiate because she left approx. a month before they held initiation. She came home for the remainder of the semester and is going to be attending a different college next year. This school has sororities and I'm assuming that she would be eligible to rush due to the fact that she was never fully initiated. My question is this...should my daughter convey to the rush committe or rush counselors that she did join and pledge another sorority, or is that relevant? Also, do you think the girls at the new school would hold that against her even though she never initiated?
My daughter enjoyed her brief greek experience and would really like the opportunity to be involved again. Any help or advice would be most appreciated!
Thank you very much!

KSUViolet06 · #9 01-07-2007, 02:48 PM

I wouldn't really think it was relevant to bring up.

reverie · #10 01-07-2007, 06:46 PM

our recruitment registration form asks if you've ever pledged or been initiated in another sorority, but only the greek advisor sees that since you obviously can't be initiated into two NPC sororities.

Stef the Pef · #11 01-07-2007, 08:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by reverie

our recruitment registration form asks if you've ever pledged or been initiated in another sorority, but only the greek advisor sees that since you obviously can't be initiated into two NPC sororities.

Yup. Medical withdrawals happen all the time, and as long as she wasn't initiated in that sorority, it should be no big deal and shouldn't hurt her rushing a second time around. Just make sure she has all the recs she needs if it's a school where those matter (i.e. in the south, sometimes in CA). In fact, if that sorority is at her new school and they get some kinds of heads-up on what happened (maybe look into a reference from the pledging chapter?), that might work out. Regardless, good luck to her on finding a home at her new school!

SouthernChic · #12 01-07-2007, 10:41 PM

I think that the recruitment registration form does ask if you were pledged or initiated into another sorority. Of course, I believe it is always to be up front and honest about the situation. My concern is that the girls at the new college might not give her a fair chance if they knew she had once pledged another GLO, no matter what the reasons for her withdrawal were. I think the college that she is going to be attending has the same sorority on campus as well, but of course I would like for my daughter to be open-minded once again when she goes through rush...but if the girls at the school knew that she was a pledge of XYZ previously they might think she would be partial to that sorority on the new campus as well. I am far more concerned about this than my daughter is, but I think that is just the "mom" in me...haha!