I'm so scared and excited to death

Future9529 · #1 07-10-2006, 11:13 PM

I never knew I could be this excited and scared at the same time!! I will be leaving to school in just about a month and I made up my mind a very long time ago that I will rush. The school that I am going to is a SEC school with a very competitive recruitment process. Up until now I have been very excited but I just found out that other my new roomate and highschool friends have just decided to rush also. While I really am excited for them I am scared that the process will become too competitive. I was hoping that this would be a chance for me to do y own thing. I think it will be best if we don't share too much information about our individual processes because at least for me I want to keep an open mind and I don't want their opinions of each sorority to affect mine and I am also afraid that if they mention to me that they don't like one and I was to get a bid to it I am afriad that it would not make me like it as much. I know it will be hard not to talk about it with them but I think it would be better. I am also afraid that they will want to all put the same preferences which I do not want to to because like I said I am realy to do my own thing. Does anyone else agree?
Also, at first I tried to convince myself that I would just check out the greek life on my campus to meet new people but now after researching the sororities at my school I really really want to be part of it. My worst nightmare is that I will really really like all of the girl but that I won't recieve any invitations back. I have blocked my facebook so none of the current members can pre-judge me and I have recs to about 4 or 5 different sororities but does anyone have any adivce on making a great first impression? Or how to make rush as smooth as possible. I know I should relax but I'm scared

epchick · #2 07-10-2006, 11:21 PM

I think that keeping your rush process a "secret" from your friends is a very smart idea. I rushed as a sophomore with one my my bestest friends. We shared everything about rush, stayed in the same rush group (even if we weren't suppose to) and had the same judgement as each other. If she didn't like XYZ...i didn't (even if I really did.) Once bid day came, she chose ABC and I chose RST and she was PISSED! She wanted us to stay in the same group and that wasn't happening...so long story short...we don't talk anymore. I'd hate for that to happen to you (although i doubt it would).

Just keep an open mind all the way to the end...and do be prepared for the worst, cause it might happen. Learn all you can about the sororities, so that you can ask them questions and such. Just have fun!

notyouraverage · #3 07-11-2006, 12:03 PM

on the flip side of that Future, don't dislike a group just because your friends or roommates are interested in it. Sororities at SEC schools are typically very large and it will be easy to make your own set of friends within the sorority. Two girls in my class were best friends and roommates. They were both interested in DG but didn't want to use each other as a crutch instead of making new friends. So during all the new member activities they were careful not to sit together or ride to the house together. It was a long time before I even knew they were friends outside of DG! I would suggest talking to your friends about the process, keeping an open mind, and how you may not end up the same place, but that's okay - you'll still stay friends, etc. And if during the process you hear someone bashing a sorority, just say, "hey guys, you never know which one of us may end up a sister there." good luck and keep us posted!

flirt5721 · #4 07-11-2006, 01:44 PM

I agree with what the others have said. I would suggest to talk to your friends and tell that you want to go thru rush for you and not them. You guys can talk about your experiences but the choice is yours and yours along. Don't do thing your friends want you to do but what you want. Keep an open mind, if your friends talk bad about a chapter you like just ignore them, each chapter has something different for everyone. And if you and your friends end up in different chapters that doesn't mean you will not be friends anymore.....unless you or they choose not to be.

Glitter650 · #5 07-11-2006, 02:01 PM

I think you have the EXACT right attitude about rush. Just be upfront with your friends about it though, and make sure they know your thoughts. College is your time to experience new things, and meet new people.
Also I know it's happened where chapters have liked one girl in a set that goes through rush together, but not bid her because they figure she won't accept if they don't bid her friend. Not extremely likely, but it could happen. Good luck and HAVE FUN it totally seems like you have the perfect attitude going in.

jwright25 · #6 07-11-2006, 04:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Future9529

I have blocked my facebook so none of the current members can pre-judge me

OK. now this is just MY opinion - I'm sure there are others who will disagree. From my perspective (a chapter advisor), this looks like you have something to hide. And you are correct - current members WILL be looking up facebook profiles, just as I have been doing for the past month. But when I see a blocked one, my first reaction is - hmmmm.... I wonder what she doesn't want us to know. And some that I have seen should be edited! I mean PNMs with albums called "drunken nights" with photos of herself and another girlfriend half naked and pawing each other.

I know that this wasn't the point of your post, but it really jumped out to me. Facebook and MySpace can be detrimental to a PNM, but if they are used effectively, they can also help her out. In essence, they are like a recommendation letter or additional application materials that you didn't have the room to submit. Listing your activities, interests, and intentions for the future are just more ways that current members can get to know you and identify common ground. I know that I've made notes about some PNMs with regard to who in the chapter should meet them based on similar interests and activities. When the recruitment parties start up, we'll make sure that the active member who spent 2 weeks in Italy will be matched up to the PNM who spent 2 weeks in Italy (or whatever).

Not everyone who looks at your Facebook wants to find your flaws. I'd rather someone be completely offline than to run into a blocked profile. But in the situation where PNMs are not properly educated to fill out their applications to the fullest, Facebook will be a huge help to us when deciding who should be released on that very first night. I've seen some brilliantly filled out FB /MS profiles that greatly complement so-so recruitment applications. In some cases it will mean the difference between being released after the 20 minute open house or being invited back to the second round.

We didn't have anything like Facebook or MySpace when I was in college, so I can't speak to the 18-22 year-old mind on this one. But I always thought these sites were for networking and meeting new people. What's the point in showing your profile to just your friends? Don't they already know that you are a cheerleader, love the color pink, and like to listen to Fall Out Boy?

As to your original question -

- I think you've gotten some good advice. I, too, went through with a good friend. We didn't compare notes all week and were pleasantly surprised to find ourselves in the same chapter! We made lots of new friends and still remained close.

Very best of luck to you! Again, you may get some thoughts contradicting my above ramblings on Facebook. I can only refer to my experiences on it, though. Others may have other perspectives that will help!

tunatartare · #7 07-11-2006, 04:41 PM

I don't think that a pnm with a private facebook account means that she has something to hide. To me it seems just that she is concerned with her privacy and who looks at her profile. Many people make their facebook and myspace profiles private and they have nothing to hide. Why should pnm's be any different?

BBelleADPi · #8 07-11-2006, 05:16 PM

I agree with KLPDaisy. My first thought at any blocked Facebook or Myspace profile is that the person has some maturity about them, and has actually been listening to all of us adults who have harped upon internet safety. So my immediate first thought is a positive, not a negative one. While I certainly agree with the concept that FB/MS can help a PNM if done appropriately, I still lean a little bit more towards the "less is more," "classy" philosophy, and would look forward to meeting that person during rush even more than one who has everything out there. My daughter has her Facebook blocked, and I think she has shown good taste in doing so. She was showing me last night that someone (that she doesn't know) from a sorority asked to be her friend, and she did so, but with the privacy wall still on, so that there is still a limit to what the woman may see.

DominoTheta · #9 07-11-2006, 09:56 PM

My two cents:

I would suggest talking to your friends as well. Now, IF they decide to talk bad about a house that you particularly like, keep this in mind. EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT! Just because they do not like a certain house, does NOT mean that you are not allowed to. That is why we have the tedious recruitment process, because not everyone is the same. If we all listened to each other and felt the need to walk a certain way, we would all be in the same sorority and there would not be a need for many sororities. Now, you mentioned a scenario that went something like this:

"If I get a bid to a house that my friends have been talking bad about, I'm afraid I won't like it as much."

That is irrelevant. If you accept a bid to a house, I am hoping it is because you are head over heels for that house and not just because they offered you a bid. What other people say means nothing to you. If you decide, in your heart, that you want to be nowhere but there with those girls as your sisters, then you accept that bid because you love the house and you enjoy being there with them. You wouldn't have accepted that bid because you love the house and then not enjoy your time there because your friend pledged somewhere else or said something opinionated about your sorority. The purpose of having many sororities is to reach out and find girls from various backgrounds and bring them together by the bonds of sisterhood and the foundation of a sorority to give them something in common. This allows girls that would have never otherwise met, to come together for something they are passionate about.

Personally, I went through recruitment with several friends from high school and not one of them wound up being in my pledge class. Not necessarily because they didn't like Theta, but because they found their homes elsewhere. Their opinions of other houses never swayed my opinions. Keep that in mind, and you will find your home and be truly happy. Remember that this is a lifetime decision you are making.

Now, as far as facebook and myspace goes. I do not think having a private page is a bad thing. I see a private profile as someone not wanting random people looking at her page. There are lots of weird people out there. The only time I would think twice about this is if there was a provocative screenname placed with a private profile.

Good luck sweetheart! I hope you have an amazing recruitment and you find your home. Follow your heart first and foremost.

DatSexiZeta · #10 07-19-2006, 08:29 AM

You are right. Facebook and MySpace can really determine if you are in or out. I know for a fact one girl that is an interest had a picture on facebook throwing up signs of random faternities and sororities. Me being nice, I warned her that she should take it off because it was not only hindering her chances but she was disrespecting other orgs.

DatSexiZeta · #11 07-19-2006, 08:31 AM

Also, i think that being scared is a natural feeling when you are getting to the know the girls of the sororitiy you want to join. You must remember they were once in your place so they know how you feel.

adpiucf · #12 07-19-2006, 08:45 AM

This is your recruitment. You need to spend the events meeting new people and making new friends, learning about their sororities and talking up yourself. Your friends are completely irrelevant to this process and should not even be brought into conversation. This takes away time from them getting to know about YOU.

And talk to your friends. Tell them you love them, you're excited about recruitment, but you know that no matter what you are friends for life. And that means that at recruitment, you should all go in with an open mind knowing that your friendship is secure even if everyone joins a different sorority. Lay the ground rules. And then move on and be happy for one another's choices. If they pout and cry, then cut them off for a while. They're in college now-- they can't get manipulate you into getting their way by being a child.

GDIfly · #13 08-29-2006, 03:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jwright25

I'd rather someone be completely offline than to run into a blocked profile.

I know the issue is pretty much closed, but, for the record, you can change Facebook privacy settings to make it appear as though you don't even have an account to anyone who searches for you and isn't your friend. So that's an option for anyone who is hesitant to block their profile but still doesn't want to be snooped on.

LOVEinZTA · #14 09-16-2006, 08:57 PM

ok I couldn't resist this.

As facebook has recently said they are going to open up essentially to "anyone who wants a profile" (no, I'm not going to comment on that) I think it would be ABSOLUTELY REDICULOUS to think anything but "she's smart" of someone who privatized their account. what is she hiding? Come on, I understand that you want to get to know the PNMs and see what they're like, so talk to them. Don't read what her drunk friend posted in a message to them and try to infer something about her. As I'm sure we've all learned, the web lets you become whomever you choose. I have quite a few friends whose online profiles make them look like saints when I and anyone else who has met them face to face certainly knows they aren't. I think it would be just as bad to get pumped up about a girl because she has the "quintessential online profile," rush her hard, give her a bid, and then have her turn out to be a loud public drunk who just doesn't own a camera to post the pictures. (this is just an example)

Keep it private, by all means. Treasure the fact that you have "the right to be left alone." My facebook, from the day I opened it, has been set so that only my friends and 'friends of my friends at my school' can see it. I have the name of my apartment complex up because my friends always forget and I don't want that information free for the taking. Ok sorry, i HAD to get that out.

HOW'S RECRUITMENT?!?!?!??

Little E · #15 07-12-2006, 09:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Future9529

Up until now I have been very excited but I just found out that other my new roomate and highschool friends have just decided to rush also. While I really am excited for them I am scared that the process will become too competitive. I was hoping that this would be a chance for me to do y own thing. I think it will be best if we don't share too much information about our individual processes because at least for me I want to keep an open mind and I don't want their opinions of each sorority to affect mine and I am also afraid that if they mention to me that they don't like one and I was to get a bid to it I am afriad that it would not make me like it as much. I know it will be hard not to talk about it with them but I think it would be better. I am also afraid that they will want to all put the same preferences which I do not want to to because like I said I am realy to do my own thing.

I totally understand where you are coming from, it can be hard to take your own path while your friends from HS are nearby. I would suggest chatting with them, and everyone agreeing that you'll each follow your own hearts and it won't change your friendship. Just because you wear letters, it doesn't mean your friends must have the same ones on.

In terms of how much to tell them...I think that is something that in the end only you will know. Relationships between girls are hardly ever straight forward, we seem to have thousands of layers that complicate things. If it is too hard to discuss each day with them and still keep an open mind, then don't, there is nothing wrong with keep your thoughts to yourself. If you think you can keep an open mind and share all your thoughts, then go that route. But find a way that you feel you'll best be able to make your own decision. It is a nice sentiment to think that we can all stand up to our friends but it isn't easy, at 18 or later in life. I wish you the best of luck, you seem to have really thought about this.