what makes you stay?

[tld221]

most of my friends are in relationships ranging from a few weeks to 7 years. ALL of them are facing some drama with their BF/GF, whether its suspected cheating, questionable sexuality, canceled dates, unreturned phone calls, drama with an ex, etc.

i, being the resident single gal, wonders, why stay in a relationship if the person is stressing you? if they get on your nerves, do things that piss you off, and sometimes doubt being with them, why not just break up?

the only answers i can think of is the stereotypical, "well cause i lovvvvvvvvveeeee him" or "because he makes me happy" or whatever.

well clearly they dont if all you can do is b!tch and moan about them. why bother? i find that most people wait til the ultimate last straw to end things - why wait til then?

[Tbagger Vance]

The only reason I can think of is because of magic sticks.

[jillybean]

i think people generally prefer having someone than having no one. they choose the comfort and stability of someone who drives them nuts at times to the insecurity and unattachedness of being single. This can range from just liking being "with" someone, to enjoying the sex, or the perks of a relationship.

i think we all, at some point in our lives, stayed with someone longer than we should have, I know I have. I like to think I'm smarter than that now though, and the thought of staying with someone and being miserable does not sound appealing at all.

[valkyrie]

Many people stay in crappy relationships because they're big insecure wussies who are afraid of being alone.

[damasa]

The sex.

[PhiMuAmberkins]

I think there's a big difference between staying with someone who is honestly bad for you/cruel to you/makes your life miserable and staying with someone who irritates you/makes you mad sometimes, so you go gripe about it to your friends. Honestly, I gripe about my bf to my friends all the time. But that doesn't mean I love him any less, it just means sometimes I need to vent about him! And we fight sometimes. No relationship is perfect...

[SOPi_Jawbreaker]

Originally Posted by tld221

most of my friends are in relationships ranging from a few weeks to 7 years. ALL of them are facing some drama with their BF/GF, whether its suspected cheating, questionable sexuality, canceled dates, unreturned phone calls, drama with an ex, etc.

i, being the resident single gal, wonders, why stay in a relationship if the person is stressing you? if they get on your nerves, do things that piss you off, and sometimes doubt being with them, why not just break up?

the only answers i can think of is the stereotypical, "well cause i lovvvvvvvvveeeee him" or "because he makes me happy" or whatever.

well clearly they dont if all you can do is b!tch and moan about them. why bother? i find that most people wait til the ultimate last straw to end things - why wait til then?

I'm in the same boat as you. I'm the resident single gal in my group of friends. One of my friends, who graduated last year, is now engaged to a guy that she has been dating since junior year of high school. They fought all the time, and then last year, he cheated on her, and she still took him back. She kept telling me that she felt like she'd never be able to trust him again, but she still loved him, she was afraid to be single again, and she had already invested almost six years into the relationship and was reluctant to walk away with nothing to show for it.

[texas*princess]

Originally Posted by tld221

well clearly they dont if all you can do is b!tch and moan about them. why bother? i find that most people wait til the ultimate last straw to end things - why wait til then?

Most women falsely believe that the guys will change. Nine times out of ten they don't.

Even if it's not the guy, they think things will change, and usually things do for awhile, but in my experience things only change for a short time and then they go right back to how it was.

Edited because I just saw the post above me---
I just got out of one of those relationships, and you know what, it does suck to feel like you've wasted 6 years of your life with nothing to show for it, but I would rather be single for now then trap myself in a marriage that won't make me happy in the long run anyway. I was with my guy for about 6 years and he did some pretty awful things, but then situations got better, then they got worse again, then better.... I was on a never ending rollercoaster until I finally decided I had enough.

[OtterXO]

Originally Posted by texas*princess

Most women falsely believe that the guys will change. Nine times out of ten they don't.

Even if it's not the guy, they think things will change, and usually things do for awhile, but in my experience things only change for a short time and then they go right back to how it was

I completely agree with this...you'd be surprised how many women are in "love" with the personality/lifestyle they project onto their boyfriend and not what their boyfriend actually is.

[AKA_Monet]

So, when I was single, I had varied "interests", shall I say...

The problem with that is when you needed these fools on the days that counted, like birthdays, holidays, etc. they were nowhere to be found... Like ghosts...

So, if you can slang some men on the sly without getting caught, then hey have fun!!! But buyer beware with that choice in lifestyle... It's called the "jet set crew"...

Also, if you do get caught, the guys get soooooooo jealous like you would have never seen... I mean, it is liable to get you beaten down if you play some men like that and quite dangerous. But hayle, he's probably cheating on you too, he's got girls on the sly side so why shouldn't you?

Now if you become serious, that's when it all has to stop. But that's after he initiates that conversation with you--not the other way around. 'Cuz if the girl starts that kind of conversation, it usually has some guys running for the hills... Then where are you?