Double standards among sexes

[PiKA2001]

I was reading this a few days ago and it really pissed me off. Debra Lafave who had sex with the 14 yr old student got off with a slap on the wrist. The link for the story is below. I know if I "raped" a 14 yr old my ass would be carted straight to jail. I would be called dirty, filthy , perverted, child predetor. Yet this Lafave is being referred to as being "hurt", "confused", "lonely", "mentally unwell". It just makes me sick. I was talking to a female friend and she was telling me about how someone she knows was having an affair and pretty much it was all the husbands fault for the affair. She basically made it sound that it was justifiably right that her friend was unfaithful because her husband works 60 hours a week and is too busy to give her all the attention she wants. OK, that makes sense. I know if I ever cheated on my girl it (for not giving me enough attention) I would just be a horny cheating bastard. No one would have any pity on me for being "confused", "lonely", "hurt".



http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20051123/...teacher_sex_14

[PM_Mama00]

That kinda happened to a friend of mine that I've known since elementary school. He was 18 and his girlfriend was I think 14? (he was a senior in high school, she was a freshman) Her parents found out and they slapped him with a statutory rape lawsuit. His name was all over the papers and I'm not sure if it was in the news. He had to register with the sex offender list and I think he did jail time too.

[AOII_LB93]

It is a total double standard...one of many in our society. That woman should have gone to prison.

[honeychile]

I think I'll worry about that once the disparity in wages is equalized.

Yes, I can be cynical.

[aephi alum]

Originally posted by honeychile
I think I'll worry about that once the disparity in wages is equalized.

Yes, I can be cynical.

Cosign.

I can be cynical too.

[Coramoor]

Equal pay. That's a joke.

Maybe when women (like this one for example) stop taking the victim role, they will be looked at like equals. Until then, there are always equal reactions.

[aephi alum]

Originally posted by Coramoor
Equal pay. That's a joke.

Please clarify.

[honeychile]

I can't remark about the situation PIKA2001 described, as all I know about it is his post. But the teacher? You cannot tell me that the 14 year old boy wasn't bragging to his friends about it! Women who are raped do not brag about it - that's a large part of the difference.

But I digress: these issues will change considerably when women who are doing the same work as a man are paid equally.

[PM_Mama00]

Originally posted by honeychile
I can't remark about the situation PIKA2001 described, as all I know about it is his post. But the teacher? You cannot tell me that the 14 year old boy wasn't bragging to his friends about it! Women who are raped do not brag about it - that's a large part of the difference.

But I digress: these issues will change considerably when women who are doing the same work as a man are paid equally.

I think PiKA meant "raped" as in statutory rape.

[Taualumna]

I don't think it's all women....it's only prettier than average women that get away with it. Uglier women like Mary Kay Latournau (or however her name is spelled) went to jail.

[ZetaPhi708]

In another famous "teacher-student" sex case, Mary Kay Laturno ( spelling? ) did do time for her relationship with the young student whom she had an affair with. But they are now married adults raising their two daughters. Que sera sera. Kind of interesting that the legal system tried to keep them away from each other and in the end, they are together ( legally ) again.

I think that the teacher in question in this thread should have done jail time just like Laturno did.

[AchtungBaby80]

Originally posted by Taualumna
I don't think it's all women....it's only prettier than average women that get away with it. Uglier women like Mary Kay Latournau (or however her name is spelled) went to jail.

You know, that thought crossed my mind, too...

Yes, I agree it is a double standard. So is the thing about how if a guy sleeps around he's a major stud, but a girl who sleeps with more than two or three men is slapped with the 'slut' label.

[SOPi_Jawbreaker]

I can't remember where I read or heard this (Oprah show maybe???) but I think it was a psychologist and he or she said that there is a difference in between men and women who commit statutory rape. For most of the men, it wasn't about a particular girl. It was just about girls of that particular age. Basically, the girls were interchangable to these men and many of them had been with more than one underaged girl. For the women, it was about a particular boy. The women became obsessed with one particular boy and for them it was about more than sex. In their minds, they imagined that a relationship with this particular boy would make them happy and make all their problems go away. I know it's kind of a generalization but I think it is sorta reflective of the way men and women cheat. Just generalizing but I think men cheat just for sex or just to boost their ego/feel more like a man (when their wife or girlfriend doesn't provide that) whereas when a woman cheats, there's more of an emotional cheating element added.

As far as punishment for women who commit statutory rape, there is still this feeling in society that women are supposed to be gentle, nurturing creatures. Therefore, it's difficult for a lot of people to see a woman as a predator. It's easier to believe that there must be something wrong with her.

[honeychile]

Originally posted by SOPi_Jawbreaker
I can't remember where I read or heard this (Oprah show maybe???) but I think it was a psychologist and he or she said that there is a difference in between men and women who commit statutory rape. For most of the men, it wasn't about a particular girl. It was just about girls of that particular age. Basically, the girls were interchangable to these men and many of them had been with more than one underaged girl. For the women, it was about a particular boy. The women became obsessed with one particular boy and for them it was about more than sex. In their minds, they imagined that a relationship with this particular boy would make them happy and make all their problems go away. I know it's kind of a generalization but I think it is sorta reflective of the way men and women cheat. Just generalizing but I think men cheat just for sex or just to boost their ego/feel more like a man (when their wife or girlfriend doesn't provide that) whereas when a woman cheats, there's more of an emotional cheating element added.

As far as punishment for women who commit statutory rape, there is still this feeling in society that women are supposed to be gentle, nurturing creatures. Therefore, it's difficult for a lot of people to see a woman as a predator. It's easier to believe that there must be something wrong with her.

In utter seriousness, this may possibly be the most intelligent post I've read here in quite a while!

[USCTKE]

I believe I read somewhere that in South Carolina, the wording of the law makes no mention of a women being able to be charged with statutory rape. I dont know if there have ever been any women charged with it in the state.