Your in a Sorority right...???

[treblk]

I have a question to Soror, Sisterfriends...

First let me tell you the situation. There is this young lady that I work with. She is training to be a social worker. She doesn't really know me, except for the fact we work in the same office. She came to me saying..Your in a sorority right? I looked at her and answer, I am?
She proceeded to look totally lost and said, well someone told me that your a member of Delta something or another..
Ok, ya'll I felt my heat rising, and looked at her like she had lost her mind. She proceeded to say, well xyz told me that you were in a sorority and my job is looking for people to step at our program in a few weeks. We have a drug awarness program and black history month program for kids, and we want some stepers.

I looked at her, and I said, well Yes I am a member of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority Inc. and we do more then just step. Do you even know anything about Sororities and Fraternities? She, of course, did not. I gave her our offical website and told her to do some research. She proceeded to say, dang, we just want ya'll to step, it's not a big deal. When I was in undergrad, I use to see your sisters doing their steps on campus and what not..what is the big deal.

I kept my cool, and proceeded to read her HER rights!!!!! How dare she!!!!
I mean, she and I haven't had a convo since we both started, now she wanna have beef.

My question is this: Has this happened to you? If so, what did you? or how did you react and handel it?

As much as I love my Sisterhood, I am sick and tired of only being protrayed as just steppers. I am not against stepping, being a former step master, but we all know that stepping is the smallest part of being in a organization.

Ok I am done, I'll get off my soap box now.

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Treblk
MSK94

[12dn94dst]

I have some questions.

• How is her FIRST conversation with you going to be about your sorority?
  
• How is she NOT going to get the NAME right if she plans to ASK you for something?
  
• What the heck does stepping have to do with drug awareness?
  
• How is she going to be upset with you got getting upset with her?

**end of questions

I have been asked if I'm a Delta and then be "commanded" to step, regardless of where we were or what I had on. One fool stopped me in the hall of business building and asked me to step, mind you I had on a suit (not saying that one can't step in a suit). I was like can a sista get to class & do her presentation?? How I responded depended on my mood & how much time I had. Some folks got read the riot act and some got a polite response, but all were informed that Deltas do much more than step and if they want to see me step, the next show is...

However, I think sometimes we bring this on ourselves. I'm not talking about stepping while you're hanging out on the yard, strolling while waiting for a step show to begin. I'm talking about agreeing to step at events like drug awareness forums, AIDS Awareness seminars, stay in school programs and the like. Where's the connection? Black History Month programs I can understand provided the history of stepping is explained. How about inviting us to speak about the chapter programs we have that are approriate for the topic instead of asking us to step all the time? Or better yet, why don't we start suggesting that as an alternative?

[Eclipse]

treblk,
I think you did the right thing by trying to educate her (we are more than steppers), but if I go to the store for bread I don't expect the store manager to send me on a quest to research how the store offers so much more than bread! I just want some bread. Now, at another time I may go to that store for some other items that it has, but right now,I want some bread. Based on the situation you typed, it seems like the same thing. Of course I wasn't there to see the head/eye rolling (If there was any) so I don't know the entire story.

To answer your orginal question I would have probably done one of 2 things: I would have commended her on the Black History Program and, if I did not feel like stepping was appropriate, offered some alternative ways that the sorority could help them out.
or...
Developed a black history/drug awareness type step show and stepped for them. Most kids don't want to hear a lecture, but are intrigued by things like step shows. My neices are involved in a Christian Step team and they abosolutely love it. They have learned more Bible verses stepping than any other way!

I've been in similar situations Soror. When people find out I'm a Delta, they want me to do a step or the call. I've learned not to let it get to me because it has happened so many times. Some people are just ignorant to the main points and work of greek life.
For example, I graduated in May '99 with the remainder of my line sisters and most of Spring '98. We left basically Spring '99. My hometown has an annual Juneteenth pageant and the coordinator "asked" me to "get some girls together and entertain the audience during the breaks." When I explained to her that it was the summer and most of the Sorors weren't at school, she said okay, but do what you can. Mind you, this was in 1999. Well, last year the same lady comes to me again for the same thing. My undergrad chapter had a Fall '99 line. I knew some of the girls, but for me to tell them "Hey come down here and step" I don't think so.
My suggestion to the woman was to call the Greek Life office and see if the other greeks had more time or people.
I had to vent. Some people just know how to hit all the right buttons.

I think that stepping, but with a positive message is a good idea. A couple of years ago, our theme was to get out and vote because it was local election time and people liked it.

[This message has been edited by c&c1913 (edited February 08, 2001).]

[treblk]

Thank you sorors, and you all have a point. The problem I have with this situation, and I see that I did forget to mention it, was that I did tell her about the plight of African American Sorority and Fraternities. I tried telling her our history and what we stand for, and not just Delta, but the other organizations as well. I went far as to go show her some websites of Delta Chapters, AKA chapter and so on and showed her their public service projects they had done. I even showed her Delta main website and our 5 Point Trust. I didn't just tell her to go search it for her self, but I did educate her as best as I can. What pissed me off was the fact that she was not really interested in know how we came to be, but whether or not I can find a group of Sorors who would be willing to come and step for her program. I then told her, well it wasn't as easy as she thought, there was a lot that goes into this, and yall...that is when the attitude hit the fan, and I had to tell her about her self.

I don't mind steping for kids, for a good cause. When I was in undergrad, one of my prophytes tutored at a high school, sometimes she would ask us to come help her out, and from there, the school asked us, and the other organizations on campus, to participate in their Black History Month program. That we did willingly, but to have someone, just out of the blue, ask us to step, because we are in a Sorority, that is out of line, no matter how you slice it.


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Treblk
MSK94

[Rachel0497]

Sisterfriends of DST,
I hope you all don't mind me posting here, but I just had to say something about this. Why is it that a number of people in our community like to pick and choose the elements of our organizations they like, and totally ignore the others? It does irritate me when we are just viewed as steppers, etc. I don't think any org has any problem with coming and volunteering time, but not just to step-there is so much more we have to contribute.

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Sassy, Classy, but never Trashy-The Ladies of Z Phi B!

I would like to add my opinion even though I am not in a greek org.

I don't think most people pick and choose certain characteristics of an organization and ignore others. I think it's simply a matter of not knowing what the organization's major principles/aspects are.

If someone has never done research or been exposed to the services of XYZ organization, how can they be expected to know what they should or should not say? It's simply a matter of ignorance.

For instance, I belong to a criminal justice organization called National Association of Blacks in Criminal Justice. I have had SEVERAL people approach me, assuming that we exclude other races from joining. I've even had people tell me that they thought we were racist simply because of the name of the org. These are the people that do not come to our monthly meetings and see the diversity of the membership and have not seen us volunteering in the community. I have learned that I cannot get mad because of someone else's ignorance (lack of knowledge). I simply provide them with the information or direct them to the proper resource to find out what we are about. Now, if the same person approach me with the same ignorance AFTER being provided with the opportunity to do research... then I get mad.

My opinion.