Introducing a new boyfriend to parents

[winneythepooh7]

Hey everyone. So here is my dilemma. I recently started dating a totally amazing guy and things are going great. I am not ready to introduce him to my parents yet or tell them that I am dating a new guy. The reason behind this is because in the beginning of the year I went through a horrible break-up and I am just not ready to introduce the idea of a new guy in my life to them if you know what I am saying. The problem is I have already met his family and all of his friends and he keeps telling me he wants to meet my family. I am totally happy with my new relationship but with my last guy everyone in my family got used to the idea that he could have been *the one* and I don't want to put them through that again, you know? It gets complicated because he says next time I go to visit my family he wants to come. I am thinking of going to see them tommorrow since I haven't seen them in like a month. I told him this this morning and he got really quiet, I think because I didn't mention bringing him. Anyone been through a similar situation?

[AlphaFrog]

Yes...that's why I brought my fiance (boyfriend at the time, we weren't engaged yet) to last Thanksgiving as my "friend". I suggest you bring this guy as your friend. If your family is ready to accept another guy for you, they'll get the picture...if not, then they get a chance to get to know him. At the time when I had brought my new guy home, my parents were still in love with my ex-boyfriend (too bad I hadn't been in awhile), and weren't ready to accept another guy yet. In fact, they still didn't get the picture when I brought him home for Christmas too...(hello, two major holidays in a row with the same "friend"???)


If he has a problem with being introduced as your friend, (which I would mention ahead of time, in case he would), tell him that you want to give your family a chance to get to know him first, before you drop the boy-friend bomb.

[Eclipse]

Why don't you tell him exactly what you told us and let him know that you are, in a way, "protecting him". He needs to see what's in it for him. Has he met your friends? If not, he is probably thinking that a) you are not as into him as he is you or b) he's your dude on the side and your friends and fam know the 'real' guy or c) you are in some way ashamed of him. Introducing him to your close friends is a way of getting around that and buying some time until you are ready.

In the meantime, I would casually mention to the fam that you and a "friend" went to the movies to see XX and it was a great movie, blah blah. Make it more about the movie than your friend, so they can understand that every guy does not have to potentially be the one!

[winneythepooh7]

Both of you have some great advice. A lot of my friends have met him because he is the cousin of one of my sisters. Other friends haven't but that is due to schedule/location issues. Plus I have one of those crazy/judgemental friends I don't like any of my boys meeting if you know what I mean She seems to try to sabotage any relationship I have.