Question about my manager's behavior

absolutuscchick · #1 11-23-2003, 04:08 PM

Ok, I know I had a thread on my manager asking me out before, but now I have a completely new problem and I feel that what he is doing is wrong. So I guess I made it clear that I wasn't interested in him. Since then, almost everytime I've been at work, he says I can go home early (not like I really have an option) OR he takes the day off because he's "having a bad day". Then, today he calls me and tells me I'm not at all scheduled for the next week. Do you think he's trying to get rid of me because I didn't want to date him? Isn't that illegal? Thanks!!

ThetaPrincess24 · #2 11-23-2003, 04:12 PM

IF what you are assuming is correct, then yes that's illegal. Its very hard to prove though, and there would need to be proof.

However it could be a ploy to intimidate you to go out with him. The whole situation is fishy. I'd be looking for a new job if i were you and get out of that situation before it escalates further.

absolutuscchick · #3 11-23-2003, 04:17 PM

Yea....that's what I think I'm going to do this week, since obviously I'm not working or anything...

smiley21 · #4 11-23-2003, 06:25 PM

poor thing

that is just crappy

SparkliiQTMTSU · #5 11-23-2003, 06:45 PM

That is awful! Im so sorry that this is happening. this happened to me at my old job except it was just that my manager had a grudge against me when he tried to fire me illegally cause I had a doctors note and whatnot. I eventually quit cause I got tired of the BS. I'd look for another job but dont give up on your job too easy at least not if you really like where you work.

Nichole

James · #6 11-23-2003, 09:23 PM

Well. Normally I would be entirely on your side darlin'. But you did kind of lead this guy on.

You had no interest in him but still went on a date. He spent money on you and all.

Now he should be the bigger man let it go but he isn't.

I think you just chalk this one up to experience and don't do the same thing again: Go on a date with someone you have no interest in especially when he is your boss lol

.

DeltAlum · #7 11-23-2003, 10:32 PM

Actually, I doubt that he's done anything illegal -- at least that you can prove. But I would guess that he is not so subtely trying to force you out the door.

Of course, if you quit instead of being fired or laid off, you can't get unemployment, etc.

Bad situation.

absolutuscchick · #8 11-23-2003, 11:03 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by James
Well. Normally I would be entirely on your side darlin'. But you did kind of lead this guy on.

You had no interest in him but still went on a date. He spent money on you and all.

Now he should be the bigger man let it go but he isn't.

I think you just chalk this one up to experience and don't do the same thing again: Go on a date with someone you have no interest in especially when he is your boss lol .

Ok, honestly you obviously DONT understand the situation.....he asked me out and I felt two things...(1) obliged to do something with him as he is my boss and (2) not sure if was a date or not....had I known his intentions, I probably would have said no, but instead I gave him the benefit of the doubt and assumed that no boss would actually ask out his employee on a date, so it must be just as friends. Also, I think I made it pretty clear very soon into the date that I wasn't interested when I realized he WAS interested.
Hopefully this clears up your misunderstanding of me leading him on...

DeltAlum · #9 11-23-2003, 11:13 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by absolutuscchick
Ok, honestly you obviously DONT understand the situation.....

Rachel and anyone else...

NEVER feel obligated to go out with the boss unless it is for something clearly business related.

The only exception I can think of might be if a group of co-workers (which might include the manager) are getting together after work or for some kind of celebration or something.

Otherwise, you will often put yourself in a situation you may not like -- whether you mean to or not.

SSS1365 · #10 11-23-2003, 11:16 PM

Actually, it's a form of sexual harrassment, so it is wrong. You should probably talk to him... ask him why he's not scheduling you to work. Let him know that it bothers you. Give him a chance to explain and change his ways. If he doesn't, then does he have a boss you can go to?

James · #11 11-23-2003, 11:25 PM

Yes there is a legal alternative to almost everything. And no doubt an administrative one if this is a corporate store.

But sometimes our own inexperience or naivete just causes unfortunate situations. Its part of life's learning experience. Consequences.

So we chalk it up to experience. In the meantime SS1365 has a good plan. Talk to the poor rejected fool

Hootie · #12 11-23-2003, 11:59 PM

All I have to say is DOCUMENT DOCUMENT DOCUMENT!

I had a former boss sexually and mentally harass me. Everyone was aware of it, but corporate. So when I finally quit and sought out my DM to tell him, he was clueless. He's like, why didn't you say anything. Well, why should I? It would have only made my life more of a living hell...and I wasn't the first female employee to have experience this (there were other women who every time he was moved to another store, they'd leave). So I did write EVERY DETAIL DOWN in a three page letter to the company. All I got was a "thank you for your time with the company, best wishes". F-THAT! I could have sued if I had documented it all earlier.

So MY suggestion...it's all a game of intimidation. He thinks he has the power and control over you. BS! Call someone about it. Document it in writing and fax it to your corporate HR! Seriously! What do you have to lose? A job you're already unhappy at? Do the right thing...because if you don't...he'll do it again to someone else!

cashmoney · #13 11-24-2003, 02:01 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by smiley21
poor thing that is just crappy

Does it get pretty rough at starbucks sometimes? I can imagine how sexy you look holding a cup of french vanilla cappiccino.

absolutuscchick · #14 11-24-2003, 02:54 AM

Unluckily, this is a restaurant owned by a brazilian man, no corporation involved. As the man just moved to scottsdale 8 months ago, and the manager is someone he recruited and is also brazilian, as well as most of the waiters and staff. I have a very strong feeling that they would rather get rid of me then go to the trouble of finding a new manager who was also brazilian...it sounds like the owner set up my manager with a car, apartment, everything so he could come out and work at his restaurant....
I have a feeling the only way I'd get any support would be if I filed a lawsuit which I dont feel is neccessary at this point...

Quote:

Originally posted by Hootie
All I have to say is DOCUMENT DOCUMENT DOCUMENT!

I had a former boss sexually and mentally harass me. Everyone was aware of it, but corporate. So when I finally quit and sought out my DM to tell him, he was clueless. He's like, why didn't you say anything. Well, why should I? It would have only made my life more of a living hell...and I wasn't the first female employee to have experience this (there were other women who every time he was moved to another store, they'd leave). So I did write EVERY DETAIL DOWN in a three page letter to the company. All I got was a "thank you for your time with the company, best wishes". F-THAT! I could have sued if I had documented it all earlier.

So MY suggestion...it's all a game of intimidation. He thinks he has the power and control over you. BS! Call someone about it. Document it in writing and fax it to your corporate HR! Seriously! What do you have to lose? A job you're already unhappy at? Do the right thing...because if you don't...he'll do it again to someone else!

absolutuscchick · #15 11-24-2003, 02:55 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by cashmoney
Does it get pretty rough at starbucks sometimes? I can imagine how sexy you look holding a cup of french vanilla cappiccino.

lol!