rush "parties" really aren't parties at all in the sense that you're thinking of. they are carefully structured and orchastrated from beginning to end. there is no music (other than sisters singing or as part of a skit), and absolutely no drinking or smoking or anything. the parties consist of each rushee chatting with several actives in a one-on-one setting, and on certain nights you may see a slide show of photos, or a skit. these parties are highly civilized, sickeningly polite, and very formal. nothing like a "frat party"!
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pref night is a little different from the earlier events, because the rushees will watch some sort of ceremony unique to each house. these ceremonies may involve candles, flowers, etc. the sisters may recite their "symphony" or a sort of statement of the sorority's ideals. you will witness some of the sorority's special rituals, but they won't reveal any of the secrets that only members can know. the sisters will get kind of misty-eyed, and may discuss how much the house means to them. pref night is the most dressy, and the mood tends to be more serious.