I need advice...

RebelSong84 · #1 09-10-2003, 06:10 PM

Ok. It is coming time to pick my big sister.. I am making my desicion on Sunday. But I have a huge delimma... well it seems huge to me. One of the girls that I have really been spending a lot of time with lately wants to be my big, but she is really dramatic and i don't know if i could ever be like best friends with her or anything.
another girl who i have spent less time with is so much like me and i could trust her and count on her a lot more.

i know that both of them will pick me if i pick them.. and i dont know what to do. i want to tell the first one im sorry but i cant be her little sis, but that seems soooo hard. but at the same time i cant choose unwisely can i??
someone help me

-kalie

WhiteDaisy128 · #2 09-10-2003, 07:31 PM

Kalie, how are matches made? In my chapter, the sisters rank who they want and the new members rank who they want...ONLY the VP of Member Education see's them...

If you think there is any chance that someone else will put the "dramatic" girl down, put your true first choice down and you will have a perfect match...then the "dramatic" girl will get her second choice or something...does that make any sense?

RebelSong84 · #3 09-10-2003, 07:43 PM

yeah it makes sense, but what if no one else puts her down... then she wont get to have a little sister because of me. and that would make me feel really bad. i think that i am going to have to talk to her about it, but i dont know what to say.

-k

WhiteDaisy128 · #4 09-10-2003, 08:20 PM

Hmm...I guess there is no good way to solve this...all I can say is that your big will be your big forever and you will want it to be someone you can trust and go to with ANYTHING. You have to do what is best for you and things will sort themselves out. If she ends up littleless then talk to her and say you were sorry it didn't work out and thank her for doing so much for you through out these first few weeks...make her feel really special, even though she isn't your big...

Hehe, or when the time comes and you are paired with your #1 choice, then ask her what you should do!!

What are bigs for after all?!

UGAnchora · #5 09-10-2003, 11:49 PM

Just because one girl is your big doesn't mean you can't be super close with the one you didn't choose as your big!

Pink&Blue · #6 09-11-2003, 12:54 AM

A good friend of mine in college did not get a big that was even on her list. She was THRILLED once she got to know her big and could not have been happier had it been the girl she originally wanted. Even from the moment of revealing, she was not disappointed because her big was so enthusiatic.

Now, that same friend, when choosing her little., did not get the little she put down, same scenario, she was not disappointed at all, never really gave the "hey she didn't choose me" a thought, just dove in wholeheartedly into loving her new little.

So choose the girl you want, is my advice.

meridionaleDG · #7 09-11-2003, 07:17 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by RebelSong84
yeah it makes sense, but what if no one else puts her down... then she wont get to have a little sister because of me. and that would make me feel really bad. i think that i am going to have to talk to her about it, but i dont know what to say.

-k

Are there not enough girls in your peldge class for the girls who are getting lil sis? Just because you don't put her down doesn't mean she won't get a lil sis - especailly if there are just as many or more of you.

dggirly · #8 09-12-2003, 04:51 AM

I definaly would say to go with your heart. Your big sis should be someone that you can talk to when you have problems, when you get frustrated with DG/School/life. Don't worry about her not getting a little if you decided to go with someone else. In my chapter their were girls who didn't get littles right away, but when they did finally get a little it was the perfect one for them! If your heart says to go with one girl over the other do that. My third little had a hard time with that too. She was really torn between the girl who rushed her and preffed her and me. I only met her at our pref dance the friday after bid day. But when it came down to it she really couldn't decide and she put us both down because she really wanted me but she felt like beause the other girl preffed her she should put her down. And the New member educator knew that and knew I was the one for her because she didn't feel obligated to be my little. And i know now she couldn't be happier.

Just remember your big needs to be someone you can turn to in a time of need not just someone to go shopping with or party with! Even though both me and my big sis have graduated I still talk to her all the time and she still helps me out with my problems. She is truely like my real big sister. I hope that helps! So I am so long winded but well i tend to talk a lot, so I write the same way. If you have any other questions I would be glad to help.

love

Melissa

AMelie03 · #9 09-13-2003, 08:54 PM

i dont understand why you feel you have to go tell her that you don't want her as your big sis...I mean how would you like it if someone came up to you and said "sorry but i dont want you as my little sis so dont put me on your list" I know that in my chapter (and most others) you pref and then they pref...and i can almost gaurentee you if its like soph. as big sis they will give the "dramatic" girl a lil sis. they wouldnt leave her out! and i know you are prob. a great girl and all but i dont think her world is going to come to an end if you just dont pref her first! We have forty girls in our house and only 32 soph. so we were told we may not even get a girl that we prefed, but i know that however it works out it will be because its meant to be.