For all my single Sorors and SFs

[SkeeBunny]

A friend emailed this to me today, and since I am happily single and found this inspiring, I thought some of you would also. Sorry for the length, but enjoy!

Growing While Single

All your life, you had specific dreams about what your family life would be like when you finally married. You were so intent on what you wanted, you even made a list of qualities and characteristics you were looking for in a spouse, in a home, in your job, in your children.

But time passed, and that person you were so intent on didn't come along. All of your friends married, had children, had beautiful homes.

And still, you are single. You prayed and prayed and prayed for that person to come along, but nothing happened. You had a good job. You served in your church. You spent daily time with the Lord in prayer and studying the Word. You dedicated your life to pleasing God in every way possible, but still nothing.

So, you decided to take matters into your own hands, and you began an active search for a mate. And within a short period, you met someone who almost fit the bill. Almost. Sure, there were a few things missing, a few rusty spots in that person's character. But, after all, no one is perfect.

Of course, your friends tried to council you that you were making a poor choice and that you should wait for the Lord to send the right person. But that couldn't be right. You had waited for a long time.

Maybe your goals were too high. Maybe you'd been asking for the impossible. Maybe this was the person God wanted for you so you're character could grow through dealing with his or her shortcomings. So you married. And your life went down hill from there.

Even though it often seems that God is slow to answer prayers, no matter whether it's about a mate, or a job, or our children, or our finances, or anything else, we have to remember that God doesn't wear a watch. Nor does He look at our human calendars. He sees with eternal eyes. He operates on an eternal timetable, according to His plan and His schedule. If God seems to be running late, don't get impatient and run ahead of him. Wait for the Lord's timing in EVERYTHING.

To the single folks out there, this is for you.

Single means you have the time to grow and be the person you and God wants you to be.

Single gives you space to grow. Sometimes, it is harder to grow when you are too close to someone. Trees are planted far apart so they can spread their branches and become strong as they mature.

Single means learning to live by yourself.

Single means freedom. You are free to spend a week's vacation on the beach, to take computer courses, to work late on an interesting project, to spend the day in bed with a good book or simply with a person who has read one.

Single means learning not to need a man/woman to make your life meaningful, but learning to live with a man/woman because you want to be with him/her.

Single means that sometimes you will wonder why you will bite your lip and feel wistful and wonder if marriage is better.

Ironically, single is feeling good about being in control of your life. It is liking and respecting who you are and why you are.

Single is realizing that being married is not necessarily better, it is merely different.

Single means that there could be something wonderful around the corner and you can take advantage of it.

Single means you are free to love again.

Whatever decisions that you have made in your life is part of your growing experience. Whatever decisions that you have to make will influence or affect your future. So think hard before deciding on certain things...and PRAY TO GOD and HE will show you the way!

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Many of our todays are spoiled by planning for tomorrows.
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Listen to advice and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom for the future. Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will be established.

Proverbs 19:20-21




[This message has been edited by SkeeBunny (edited June 14, 2000).]

[onesavvydiva]

I don't know about anybody else, but..

I NEEDED THAT!!!!

------------------
'Cause I'm a woman,
Phenomenally
Phenomenal Woman
That's me

Maya Angelou

[AKA2D '91]

That was wonderful. I have a lot of friends who need that reminder. They are at the point of asking, what have I done wrong? Why not this... and why not that... and why is this person that... and so on and so forth.
I am with someone, but it has taken me sometime before this point to realize that it is okay to be 25+ and not married with children. It is okay to be "with myself". To many people I know who are married with children, these women envy me. They have told me that they envy that I can pick up at anytime and do whatever, with whomever, for however long. Anyway... that was a good post, I will share that with friends.

[snazzylady]

Thank you SkeeBunny for sharing this.
It is so true. Being single has so many advantages but when you sit aroud worrying why everyone else is married,or why you don't have anyone special etc. etc you can't enjoy that oneness.
I am seeing more and more sisters just enjoying their careers and friends and I think they are realizing its okay not to marry or have children. If's its for you God will give it too you

Peace

[Elite Ivy]

SkeeBunny, thank you for that post. Wasn't that taken from "Woman Thou Art Loosed" in the chapter that addressed SINGLE women? I learned a while ago that at this stage in my life, God was preparing me for something and someone special. God is using this time to mold me into someone who is in touch with MYSELF and in touch with HIM before adding someone else to the picture. He's molding me into the princess that HE made and in HIS time and at HIS command, my prince will come. I have learned to enjoy this time with myself as I develop a more closer walk with THEE.

Thanks again for the post.

[AKA2D '91]

Amen, Elite Ivy!

[Supermodel1908]

Thank you soror SkeeBunny! This is soooooo true.

[SkeeBunny]

Soror Elite Ivy,

I'm not sure if this was taken from "Woman Thou Art Loosed", but if it was, I need to run out and get this book. I've been meaning to read it anyway.

[SlvrnGold]

Another good book for single (or even married) sisterfriends is "Loving Me: a Sisterfriends guide to being single and happy" by Claudette Sims. It's a short but extremely powerful book. I loved it!

[1savvydiva]

I was having some "adjustment" difficulties being newly single AGAIN, and I did a search, and found this again. I brought it up to the top just in case someone else needed to hear this!

[skeeliteful]

I'm grald you brought this back up. I went to a reunion with my linesisters and our prophytes the other night. Between now and 2004, I will be going to 6 weddings. I told my mom this and she said "well, it would be 7 weddings if you would do something about it" and I said I am. Everyday, I learn new things about myself and I am learning to love me everyday

[NOWorNEVER]

Originally posted by SkeeBunny
Single means you have the time to grow and be the person you and God wants you to be.

This is sooo true and I'm learning this day by day.

[Steeltrap]

Originally posted by skeeliteful
I'm grald you brought this back up. I went to a reunion with my linesisters and our prophytes the other night. Between now and 2004, I will be going to 6 weddings. I told my mom this and she said "well, it would be 7 weddings if you would do something about it" and I said I am. Everyday, I learn new things about myself and I am learning to love me everyday

In May 2003, I'm going to a wedding of one of my nine line sisters. Since we crossed, one's gotten married and had a baby. Only two of us have never been married or mothers. Typical of graduate chapter.

I run hot and cold about being single. At times it's great (when I have Sex and the City moments), other times it hurts. I like your attitude. I think I need to stop being passive and be a little more active about the matter, although I do believe that God has a plan.

[Sugar_N_Spice]

AMEN TO THAT!

[Ideal08]

S-n-S back in the house!! Hey girl!

I am glad this was brought back to the top today. I needed this today, I really did. I was having a lonely day, but was DETERMINED to not have a pity party behind it. This did help a little. Thanks, 1savvydiva!