Chapter Problems

bgsugirlie · #1 10-13-2002, 06:11 PM

Have any of you guys had huge problems going on in chapter? I feel like we are about to fall apart. I love my sisters, and I hate to see stuff like this going on. We have girls threatening to quit...girls saying that we have no sisterhood...new members are complaining...and it is just all around negative. What do we do?!?!

sororitygirl2 · #2 10-13-2002, 06:18 PM

I know it is hard not to worry, but believe me... every chapter goes through this at some point!

You need to make sure your EC is aware of this problem. They need to do some investigating and try to find out what it stems from. They should meet with the chapter to see why the members are unhappy and then ask them what needs to be done to address it. Maybe have a chapter gavel passing where you discuss what can be done to fix it (be sure to keep it positive).

They should talk with all of the girls who are thinking of leaving because you don't want to lose any good members (although, some people may just be dead weight and if they don't care about the chapter, you may be better off without their negativity bringing everyone down).

Plan some sisterhood activities... maybe go to a climbing gym, go out for dinner or ice cream, have a slumber party, etc... Activities that are just for sisters... no boys, no alcohol.

Nikki_DZ · #3 10-13-2002, 06:18 PM

BGSUgirlie-

I PM'ed you. I think I know what you're going through, sweetie!!!

texas*princess · #4 10-13-2002, 06:19 PM

i don't know if this would help, but maybe you should try a positive-negative discussion. before saying anything negative going on, they must say someting POSITIVE about the sorority & sisterhood. perhaps it will show the sisters that not only bad things are going on.

Dionysus · #5 10-13-2002, 06:34 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by bgsugirlie
Have any of you guys had huge problems going on in chapter? I feel like we are about to fall apart. I love my sisters, and I hate to see stuff like this going on. We have girls threatening to quit...girls saying that we have no sisterhood...new members are complaining...and it is just all around negative. What do we do?!?!

Welcome to the club.

lionlove · #6 10-15-2002, 09:24 PM

Does your chapter have any kind of a standards or conflict resolution team? If so you should go talk to them. Talk to them about what the root of the problem is. Maybe make up a list of different things that are causing problems and talk about ways the chapter can solve them. Also, if there are girls that seem to be causing most of the problems in the chapter, have the standards comitee talk to them - not in a confrontational manner but find out what's going on that makes them so negative.

I hope this helps. Good luck, negativity isn't an easy thing to overcome.

XOMichelle · #7 10-15-2002, 10:14 PM

Is it just people are down on themselves? Do you actually like eachother? If most people have problems with other people in teh chapter, there's not much you can do besides look past that and try and get new people who won't conflict.
If the problem is something else, then the only way to pull together is work. You guys need to have fun. Have a discussion, make it clear that you can't have a good sisterhood if you guys don't have fun and put in the effort into planning events. I know ym chapter has been in that spot. But you know what? We are coming out of it! There are a bunch of people who want things done, and when they put thy're minds to things, peoplesee that it can get better.
-M

LeslieAGD · #8 10-15-2002, 10:28 PM

Every chapter has its low points.

Our chapter has a "Roses and Thorns" meeting once a month. You can always say a "rose" (positive comment), but if you say a "thorn" (negative comment) then you must have a "rose" too. If someone says a "thorn," it can be opened up for discussion but limited to usually 3-5 responses. Sometimes it can seem like a big b*tch session, but it helps to get some of the complaints out in the open.

zchi2 · #9 10-17-2002, 08:49 AM

Like someone else said, if the people who are leaving are just dead weight and are making the whole mood of the chapter negative, they really need to go. Don't only talk about the problems but do something about it. Ask people what they expected from the sisterhood and what are they doing to make sure they get what they wanted from it. A lot of people like to complain about what is wrong, but very few people do anything to actually change it. If people actually committed to spending time with each other on a more social level, then some of your problem will be fixed. Try small group interaction, because sometimes when the group is too large, people have a tendency to just talk to the people who they are use to talking to.

I hope your chapter can find the sisterhood. It might take a while but don't give up.

rosejoy · #10 10-17-2002, 05:19 PM

I am the PR director for my sorority at the school I graduated from in '96. we are in the process of a massive reorganization.

My chapter, which was going really strong and getting great girls went through a lot of trouble this past spring. They had won the Chapter of Excellence award two years in a row before this and were very successful in rush.

Girls were not paying their house dues and nothing was really being done to enforce it. It got to where fifteen thousand dollars was owed. When they finally tried to enforce it and confront the girls not paying up a lot of girls abanndoned ship. Many started rumors that the house was going to torn down, etc, and that our chartr would be taken away.

It only starts with a few bad eggs. Hang in there. We had another sorority here that only had half of campus total when I went through and they are at the top now. the strong in sisterhood will survive!

AchtungBaby80 · #11 10-17-2002, 05:40 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by zchi2
Like someone else said, if the people who are leaving are just dead weight and are making the whole mood of the chapter negative, they really need to go.

Oh, yeah, that's so true! Been there and done that. Thankfully, our "dead wood" quit on their own, and this year things are 150% better!

ZTABunny · #12 10-17-2002, 06:15 PM

Almost every chapter has bumps in the road and it passes. What everyone must keep in mind is the reason you joined-- sisterhood and each other. Hang in there and always look to the positive things you can contribute because it will rub off on others. Lead by example and show them what being a sister is all about!

Kevin · #13 10-17-2002, 08:06 PM

There are a lot of great teambuilding activities you could do. If it's in the budget have a sisterhood retreat. Do a ropes course -- something that forces you to all work together as a team. There are also lots of great excercises.

One that I've done that was particularly good was called a "Circle of Unity" (this one's free so it's particularly good). You just need your group of people.. maybe break up into several smaller groups. You have these questions (if you're interested PM me.. I'll give you the list) and then one by one the people read their answers and then you go around the circle and comment on them. It's stuff like "What is one thing most people don't know about you" or "What is your greatest fear" and "What person had the largest impact on your life."

good stuff.

AlphaSigLana · #14 10-17-2002, 10:20 PM

This happens. the dead weight finally left my sorority, at least most of them. nationals is also coming out to talk to all the girls and see if they really want to be in our chapter. My chapter Pres. said that retreat this year was the best we've ever had. My other sisters said the changes in our house are all positive. So once our house started cracking down on late dues etc the dead weight finally left. Just remember we only get hurt by the ones we love! So there will be moments when you don't get along, but the great thing is when you love someone you are more likely to work out the problems.

sbhill2 · #15 10-17-2002, 11:34 PM

I think a sisterhood retreat might be good but it seems like that might be hard to get people who are uninterested in the chapter to attend. But a ropes course or any kind of team building activity is good. I think I know what you're going through in a way. Try a sisterhood dinner too maybe somewhere right off campus thats cheap and easy. Good luck with everything!