How do I stop being nervous about rush, Especially as a junior?

[gragon]

I know I posted about it before, but the time has come.

I will rush a fraternity I rushed before. I got along with most of the members and they liked me. I got denied a bid due to a low gpa. They said to come back once I got the gpa up.

I go to a school with a decent amount of older rushees. I want to join not just to meet women or partying but because I would like to give back to the community and do philanthropy.

But I am nervous for rush events tomorrow and I want to know what can I do to make a good impression on brothers.

Any advice will be appreciated!

[navane]

Originally Posted by gragon

I know I posted about it before, but the time has come.

I will rush a fraternity I rushed before. I got along with most of the members and they liked me. I got denied a bid due to a low gpa. They said to come back once I got the gpa up.

I go to a school with a decent amount of older rushees. I want to join not just to meet women or partying but because I would like to give back to the community and do philanthropy.

But I am nervous for rush events tomorrow and I want to know what can I do to make a good impression on brothers.

Any advice will be appreciated!

Is this the same fraternity where the rush chair had previously told you that you are "incompatible" with the fraternity? I think we told you with all honesty back then that his choice of phrasing wasn't a great sign. Also, you said you had a 2.4 GPA and the minimum to rush is 2.5. Even if you now meet the minimum this quarter, a 2.5 GPA isn't going to "wow" anyone. Please go into this cautiously.

Look....you're overthinking this. Just be yourself. Don't "try too hard". Don;t come off as desperate. People are simply looking to find new friends in life. Be the guy that would make a great friend and that other guys would think is cool to hang around.

[gragon]

Originally Posted by navane

Is this the same fraternity where the rush chair had previously told you that you are "incompatible" with the fraternity? I think we told you with all honesty back then that his choice of phrasing wasn't a great sign. Also, you said you had a 2.4 GPA and the minimum to rush is 2.5. Even if you now meet the minimum this quarter, a 2.5 GPA isn't going to "wow" anyone. Please go into this cautiously.

Look....you're overthinking this. Just be yourself. Don't "try too hard". Don;t come off as desperate. People are simply looking to find new friends in life. Be the guy that would make a great friend and that other guys would think is cool to hang around.

No, this isn’t the same one. It’s a different one. And thanks for the advice. I got my gpa up

[navane]

Originally Posted by gragon

No, this isn’t the same one. It’s a different one. And thanks for the advice. I got my gpa up

Well, it sounds like you're headed to a fresh start. Good luck and I hope it all works out!

[ChioLu]

Go to YouTube and search "How to rush a fraternity".
Many videos -- most under 10 minutes -- with good tips and suggestions.

Good luck!

[PhilTau]

Originally Posted by gragon

But I am nervous for rush events tomorrow and I want to know what can I do to make a good impression on brothers.

Any advice will be appreciated!

Not knowing the specifics about rush/recruitment at your school, it is impossible to give specific advice. Some general advice:

1) If your school's rush rules allow women to attend fraternity rush events, treat every woman you meet at the event as if she is the girlfriend of the fraternity's president. If you are serious about joining a fraternity, your goal at a rush event is to join a fraternity, not to meet women. Hitting on a member's girlfriend is a sure way to not get a bid.

2) Look your best. Be aware of your clothes and grooming. Get a hair cut a few days before rush.

3) Be friendly to everyone.

4) Even if you are sure a woman you meet at the rush event is not an active's girlfriend, assume she is an active's sister because everything you say or do will get back to the members.

5) Try to avoid arguments, unless it's about sports. Stay away from political discussions. But if politics are important to you, keep your ears open when you listen to the actives talk to get a hint on their leanings. Don't talk about how much money your family has.

6) Don't limit yourself to one fraternity. Go to other fraternities' parties.

7) Notice and get to know other rushees attending the event. This is very important. Make sure you like them as a group, because if they join along with you, they will be your friends.

8) If you feel out of place at a rush party, you probably are. Remember the rush party scenes in the movie, "Animal House." Try to find the fraternity that "has your people."

[gragon]

Originally Posted by PhilTau

Not knowing the specifics about rush/recruitment at your school, it is impossible to give specific advice. Some general advice:

1) If your school's rush rules allow women to attend fraternity rush events, treat every woman you meet at the event as if she is the girlfriend of the fraternity's president. If you are serious about joining a fraternity, your goal at a rush event is to join a fraternity, not to meet women. Hitting on a member's girlfriend is a sure way to not get a bid.

2) Look your best. Be aware of your clothes and grooming. Get a hair cut a few days before rush.

3) Be friendly to everyone.

4) Even if you are sure a woman you meet at the rush event is not an active's girlfriend, assume she is an active's sister because everything you say or do will get back to the members.

5) Try to avoid arguments, unless it's about sports. Stay away from political discussions. But if politics are important to you, keep your ears open when you listen to the actives talk to get a hint on their leanings. Don't talk about how much money your family has.

6) Don't limit yourself to one fraternity. Go to other fraternities' parties.

7) Notice and get to know other rushees attending the event. This is very important. Make sure you like them as a group, because if they join along with you, they will be your friends.

8) If you feel out of place at a rush party, you probably are. Remember the rush party scenes in the movie, "Animal House." Try to find the fraternity that "has your people."

1. Definitely. I will not hit on any women.

2. What are some clothes I should wear, especially in the evening when it is colder? Would a leather jacket and jeans work? What about an Apple Watch?

3. Of course.

4. Definitely

5. I will definitely avoid politics and money

6. Excellent advice.

7. I agree.

8. I'll keep that in mind.

Thank you!

[PhilTau]

Originally Posted by gragon

2. What are some clothes I should wear, especially in the evening when it is colder? Would a leather jacket and jeans work? What about an Apple Watch?

This is a pure judgment call on your part. I've given similar advice on other posts - usually to parents asking how they can help their son in rush. My usual advice is to suggest that they take their son to a nice men's store in the city where the college is located and ask the sales clerk to show them the type of clothes that kids at the college are wearing.

The description of the event should give you some idea of what to wear. Or go look at some recent photos up on the fraternity's website/twitter/instagram/fb/etc. page and see what they like to wear. I'm no fashion expert but I will caution you that, in some parts of the country, wearing a leather jacket can be rather risky. [I once got on a government airplane, and every man (except me) on board was wearing a leather jacket. The sight made an impression (though a negative one) on the women with whom I was travelling.]

[ChioLu]

What to wear:
Contact your Greek life office and ask them. They can probably guide you, specific to your university, so you won't be overdressed or underdressed.
Look up the fraternity website/Facebook pages/Instagram pages and see what the members are wearing. If the events are casual, like a afternoon barbecue or an introductory meet and greet, it's safe to go with a golf shirt and belted shorts. Some universities have casual events until the last (invitational) event.
Further along in the rush process, it's hard to beat a button down shirt and khakis. (And since you're on the west coast, the plaid button down is a staple.)
BUT contact your FSL (fraternity & sorority life) office as we do not know what fashion and Greek life are like on your campus (& you don't need to tell us which university).

[33girl]

Disclaimer: I am old enough to be OP's mom and live in what is admittedly not a cutting edge city for fashion. But a leather jacket and an Apple watch sounds like something the divorced dad I met on match dot com would wear for our date at Bravo Italian Kitchen.