communication problems within sorority.. HELP

KappaTarzan · #1 08-14-2002, 06:37 PM

here's an interesting question...

i am currently in a situation with a sister of mine where we are not on speaking terms.. unfortunately, due to our positions in the sorority we have to work together (I am rush/social chair, she is our Affiliate or new member educator. we have to co-ordinate schedules for events). Whenever i try to call her, or even IM her she doesn't respond.. i know the old saying "there is a difference between a sister and a friend", which is fine, i have no problem with that. my problem is, how do i get her to talk to me for the sake of the sorority? should i ask the president to intervene? i'm afraid that may cause the other sister to think favoritism, because the pres. is my big...

HELP!

any and all advice/suggestions welcome...

DeltaBetaAGD · #2 08-14-2002, 06:51 PM

I suggest that you ask an advisor to be a mediator to facilitate a working relationship. Fixing a friendship is something you will have to do on your own. You really should find someone who will not have a interest in your personal relationship but can help in a working sort of way. That is really what advisors should be there for. Hope this helps!

Rudey · #3 08-14-2002, 06:51 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by KappaTarzan
here's an interesting question...

i am currently in a situation with a sister of mine where we are not on speaking terms.. unfortunately, due to our positions in the sorority we have to work together (I am rush/social chair, she is our Affiliate or new member educator. we have to co-ordinate schedules for events). Whenever i try to call her, or even IM her she doesn't respond.. i know the old saying "there is a difference between a sister and a friend", which is fine, i have no problem with that. my problem is, how do i get her to talk to me for the sake of the sorority? should i ask the president to intervene? i'm afraid that may cause the other sister to think favoritism, because the pres. is my big...

HELP!

any and all advice/suggestions welcome...

It is her responsibility to do her job. If she is refusing to talk to you, then quite simply she shouldn't be in that position.

For the sake of the sorority, work your problems out and just confront her in person about this. Then I'd suggest sending emails to her that include other people so that when you say "hey betsy i haven't heard back from you in regards to XYZ" people will see she's not doing her job. It also pressures her into doing the work to save face with the other people.

-Rudey

KappaTarzan · #4 08-14-2002, 07:12 PM

DeltaBeta- greek life is not recognized by the school at UMASS so i don't have an advisor, we are all own our own, which makes it tough...

Rudey, i like the idea you have about emails, i think i will try that.. only problem with confronting her in person is i won't see her again until the first meeting, and i'll have to have the program done by then for rushes, informationals, bids, and so on...

GOING CRAZY!!!!

ksig600 · #5 08-14-2002, 07:58 PM

I had a problem with a brother and I having a falling out, and then being paired on our membership committee.

I would say to be the bigger person and apologize.
Confront her at an event (like after chapter)
If she still doesn't aceept it, then ask your president to intervene.
It is her responsibility, and she isn't hurting you it's the chapter. (Make her see this)

James · #6 08-14-2002, 09:31 PM

Well the job is the important thing.

So Rudey has the right of it with the emails.

Also I would call with someone there as a witness.

If it is at all feasible I would just show up at her door.

If you don't resolve the situation in the next 2-3 days MAX I would have the president intervene.

You don't have a lot of time, and as I said: The job is important.

Because honestly, if you can't solve it in two or three days (I don't know when the first chapter meeting is held) then its equally your fault for not contacting the president.

When I was President I was less than amused when someone came to me and said a conflict prevented a task from being completed, even if they were the one willing to work, if no one contacted me well in advance!

In fact, if this has been going on for a while, and you were supposed to be working on it during the summer I would ream you both out for it.

And if you waited to the last minute to contact me about it, I would haul you both in front of chapter for being silly rabbits.

That stuff is just dumb. Let me say again: The job is whats important.

KappaTarzan · #7 08-15-2002, 01:41 AM

i agree james, the job is what is important, i have been trying to get ahold of her for 2 days now, tomorrow will be the 3rd. i did talk to my big, the president today, and if she still will not contact me after tomorrow then Kim (president/my big) will intervene. its a bad situation, hopefully to soon be all resolved. that you much for the responses

Shine · #8 08-15-2002, 03:45 AM

I've actually had a similar problem.

I am the official webmaster of my sorority. I work under the PR Chair and she and I ended up having some personal differences that made it difficult to work together and a lot of things aren't getting done pre-rush.

I was asked to be the webmaster last semester and was told that writing and updating the site would be my job until I graduate in 2004. I wrote all the code, and created all the images for our website, then uploaded it onto a free server. Well, the PR girl got a webmaster friend of hers to copy the site and upload it onto a domain that she bought for our house. Then she proceeded to e-mail our list server and tell everyone that she did everything. I got mad, then e-mailed everyone back saying that she did nothing but put down money.

I do understand that what we both did was petty and stupid, however, now she doesn't want to meet with me so we can work on updating the website. I've been politely and professionally trying to get ahold of her to set up a time where we can meet and do it, but she continues to ignore me.

This wouldn't be a big deal, except that she refuses to give me the passwords to the file managers so I can work on it. So the site is in-limbo right now because she doesn't have my expertise and I don't have her passwords.

Now, we have 3 weeks until rush and nothing on our site is updated.

It's stressing me out. I'm the one that will get the blame if the site stays untouched.

I'm more than willing to bury the hatchet so we can work on this professionally, but she is holding a grudge.

It's even more frustrating that I work UNDER someone, when the Webmasters for the other chapters of my sorority are all their own individual Exec Board position.

*sighs*

pollywogg23 · #9 08-16-2002, 04:35 AM

I think that the fact that your sister is allowing personal feelings to affect what's good for the chapter is not a good sign.
You should certainly have the pres. intervene.
What is important to realize though is that your pres. was elected for a reason, and she has the best interest of the sorority in mind, whether she's your Big or not, she will act in the best interest of the sorority, and I'm certain that your sisters will realize that.

MVP4GPB · #10 08-16-2002, 08:28 PM

KappaTarzan, I hope it's worked itself out by now! Don't be afraid to go to the other people on your exec council if you really feel that you can't change the situation on your own... thats what they were elected for, to help everything run smoothly... I know I usually feel bad bringing things to our president since she has so much to do, and has to deal with all of the bad stuff that happens, but when it comes down to it she took the job so she could help us, and she's usually happy to! And, seeing how your pres. is your big, you should have an especially understanding ear to listen to your issues

Good luck!

*C*