I'm just too embarrassed when we...(not for the sensitive)

[AKA2D '91]

I could be the only person who feels like this, but there are times when some of our "own people" just embarrass the hell out of me.

For example:

1. There is a local TV commercial (furniture) and it targets "us" . Anyway, this guy is on there "saying his line", the camera is all in his mouth, teeth are jacked. It's a mess. THEN you cannot understand what he says, it's like he is speaking in "tongue". The entire commercial is a hott mess. That just makes me .

2. When there is a crime, the reporters always want to show "us" falling out all over the place hooping and hollering.

3. A few colleagues were out for lunch. The service was not that great. The waitress also over charged us. So, there is a discussion about this with the manager. This sista then yells out, "Yeah, you know we're known for protesting." We were like WTF? Some put their menus over their faces, others left the table and restaruant in utter disbelief. (Now, I can laugh about it.)

Have there been occasions where you could have just gone under the table when one of our own has said or done something?

[straightBOS]

I was a tour guide in college. And following the end of a successful year, the boss lady took all of the tour guides out for a dinner celebration. I was the only black female tour guide, and there was new black male who had recently joined the staff.

He had decided to ask a friend of his, who was white, to join us at the dinner, which was okay with everyone. Well... (look at that, didn't even finish and I am already upset..)

Anywho, as the dinner winds downs and everyone is waiting for the desert, he feels the need to inform his friend-- and basically everyone at the table that he must be getting home soon as "Black people get niggeritist after a meal and he doesn't want to fall asleep at the wheel."

Lord, Lord, Lord, it was so unexpected I didn't know what to say. I just shot him a look, cancelled my desert and took my "niggeritist" butt home!

[cricket]

Most nicer restaurant include a tip charge with large parties. Whenever I go to dinner with a big group of friends, one of my friends ALWAYS takes out her calculator at the table to make sure the tip calculation is right. If it's even 1 penny off, she has to complain to the manager. "We" already have a reputation for being bad tippers and I think this just makes "us" look like cheapskates

I'm sorry but to me, calculators at the dinner table are tacky

I'm also embarassed when we roll up in the movie theatre half an hour late, sit in the front row, with cell phones ringing and talk through the movie.

[Honeykiss1974]

Unfortunately, yes and it happened Monday.

I volunteer with an organization where I am the only minority (which is not a problem at all, everyone is great!) until this summer. We got a volunteer for the summer who happens to be a 16 year old african american girl by the name of Traci.

Anyway, me and the program director are in the office working when Traci walks in the office. The director says, "Traci, has your dad came yet?" Traci says "My dad? Please, he's black so you know he is running on CP time". The director ask "what's CP time" and then Traci says " Colored People's time. You know how we are always running late." The director just has this WTF look on her face and I just shake me head in embarrasment.

I plan to talk to Miss Traci the next time I see her.

[RedefinedDiva]

AKA2D, we are from the same city, so let me guess. You are referring to the "Credit Doctor" commercial with this CLOWN that is supposed to crippled with bad credit. Then he hops off the table after he FLATLINES and his credit is approved. That is one BIG mess!

Lets' not talk about how the news always zooms in on the folk who look like chickens just tap danced on their heads or talk the ones who are 20 years overdue for ordering "Hooked on Phonics."
It's sad.

Let's not even get on how they have local rappers trying to lure the young folks into watching judge Mathis by turning the promo into a mini-concert.

The one thing that makes me CRINGE is when young Black males INSIST on referring to themselves and everyone in the continental United States as "niggas" when "other" people are clearly within earshot. Not that the use of the word is acceptable either way. Then they use it REPEATEDLY! Can I whack them on the head with a dictionary/thesaurus?!

[cleopatrajones]

I took a sociology class on race and ethnicity at school and we talked about how minorities of a particular group are always associated with one another and that's one of the reason's we become embarrasses by someone of our same group even if we may not know them. (Just food for thought). Sometimes I refuse to be embarrassed when another Black person acts out in public (but it's hard). Sometimes I give in though especally at the restaurant I work at for the summer. Lord have mercy some Black people can be very mean to the servers even when the service is good. When I see or hear the other servers talk about how they were treated or when they don't get a tip from a Black table I really want to crawl under a rock. I just know that generalizations are being made at that moment in their minds and a lot of times I can't blame them.

Another time I was on the bus at school in the morning and it was full or White people (I think I was the only Black person on). My school is predominatly White and very rich and fairly conservative. Two Black girls got on the quiet bus and started talking extremely loud about how they were going to "beat this other girl's ass". I really wanted to jump off the bus and get away from them. (I hate feeling like that) Why can't White people ever feel this embarrassment about their mannerless people?

[neicy81]

I won't say too much because "they" are probably reading right now but.....

when we show our azzes in public.I was coming from a sports type game room and a group of people who were clearly adults were hollering and shouting at motorcyclists and asking could they get on.One lady even got on!!She didn't even know him!

When we are on public transportation or anywhere really using more curse words than subjects and verbs.

When we have embarrasing characters/hosts/concepts on our own cable network.Cita and Hits are very disturbing.

[Steeltrap]

The scenarios that have been described are all embarrassing, but I'm not surprised at anything that I've read. If you are in an environment where there is no proper modeling and values transmission, it seems likely that you will act an azz in public.

Let's take an example of the girls. If all they see is their mom, sister, grandma, aunts, et al, squawking and talking about kicking one's butt, they might be tempted to model that.

Such behavior is, IMO, one of the unintended negatives that came out of integration and open housing laws. With housing options opened up, the stable, middle-class folks moved away from those that are less fortunate, draining some communities of people who lack couth, among other things.

[loviest95]

Well I had one of those experiences this morning..

I was at the doctor's office... my nurse and were exchaning pleasant converstation when another nurse comes into the examining room... {the latter of which is one of us}

She begins to talk about her club experience last nite.."Gurl about 30 girls wanted to fight me so I pulled out my box cutter.. and my man told them that they would have to pay him and pay me just to suck his d$#% !!!... and see that b@!#$ has been tryin to put voodoo on me but like I told her -- I know voodoo, too my family is from Louisana..."

I could not believe that she just wallked in to my examining room with that MESS

Then there are those stupid questions I encounter..

I was buying baby furniture and my hubby was going to pick it up. After getting my name the salesperson {also one of us}, she asked for the name of the person that would be picking up the furniture.
Seeing that the man had the same last name as mine she asks

"Oh so your daddy is gonna pick it up?" I told her no my husband would be picking it up-- she asks me if we are really married or do we just live together?

And at the grocery store.. while buying formula I was asked where my WIC paper was or was I going to use food stamps..I told the cashier {one of us} neither.. she said "you think you too good for food stamps and WIC?" ..Well you black just like me!!


WTF

[delph998]

Originally posted by loviest95
WTFWell I had one of those experiences this morning..

I was at the doctor's office... my nurse and were exchaning pleasant converstation when another nurse comes into the examining room... {the latter of which is one of us}

She begins to talk about her club experience last nite.."Gurl about 30 girls wanted to fight me so I pulled out my boxcutter.. and my man told them that they would have to pay him and pay me just to suck his d$#% !!!... and see that b@!#$ has been tryin to put voodoo on me but like I told her -- I know voodoo too my family is from Louisana..."

I could not beleive that she just wallked in to my examining room with that MESS

Then there are those stupd questions I encounter..

I was buying baby furniture and my hubby was going to pick it up. After getting my name the salesperson {also one of us}, she asked for the name of the person that would be picking up the furniture.
Seeing that the man had the same last name as mine she asks

"Oh so your daddy is gonna pick it up?" I told her no my husband would be picking it up-- she asks me if we are really married or do we just live together?

And at the grocery store.. while buying formula I was asked where my WIC paper was or was I going to use food stamps..I told the cashier {one of us} neither.. she said "you think you too good for food stamps and WIC?" ..Well you black just like me!!


WTF

WOW is all I can say right now!

[carnation]

Well, neicy, I guess I'm considered one of "them"...but I just wanted to assure cleopatrajones that whites do indeed die of embarrassment when another one acts up in public, particularly one of the "white trash" type. Likewise, I've seen Asians and Hispanics cringe when other Asians or Hispanics make fools or spectacles of themselves.

Another thing that's embarrassing is when I'm out of the South and I hear and see another Southerner acting like someone from The Dukes of Hazzard. That's how the South gets the rep we have.

One great thing about GC--I know that GCers of all races have apologized to others in posts and pms for nasty behavior from others of their race--as in, "Sorry about that, he/she isn't representative of what all of us think."

[Sexy Mocha]

About 2 weeks ago, my friend and I went out for drinks with a woman we met at a campaign dinner. We unknowingly walked into an Irish owned/operated/frequented bar/restaurant. As we came in the door, the music stopped, people dropped their drinks, the lights flickered.......(Ok, ok, I'm embellishing a little, but I was just trying to get you all to feel me on this one) Anyway,by the looks on everyone's faces when we walked in, it was apparent that not too many of "us" came into this bar. Well, we decided to stay and have our drinks anyway. About 15 minutes later, 2 white men (very distinguished looking) came over to our table, tried to holla, and asked if they could join us. We agreed and they sat down and bought us a round of drinks. We were really having a great time, when to my (and my friend's) horror I hear the black woman that came with us saying the 3 most embarassing things anyone could say in that type of environment:

1) "Well you know what they say...the blacker the berry, the sweeter the juice."

2) "Have any of you ever dated black girls? (black girls...I'm a grown a$$ women dawg!)...........Because you know what they say..Once you go black, you never go back!"

3) (Her explanation to the now inquisitive white men on why once you go black, you never go back):
" Cause when we do our thang, we do it right! We make sure we smack it up, flip it, rub it down......." (Oh. no!)

My friend and I were like WTF? Is she really saying this? We were so embarassed and ashamed of her...
She was saying stupid things like that all night. I couldn't wait to get out of there and hem her loser a$$ up.

[prayerfull]

Between Sorors Loviest and Sexy Mocha, I can barely hold my composure right now...in fact..as soon as I finish typing this, I'm running to the bathroom 'cause I'm laughing so hard that I'm about to...well y'all know the rest.

What embarrasses me?....when one of "us" does a dumb a$$ thing like leaving her children in the car for 2 hours to get her hair done, causing the children to die. Plain damn ignorance.

[Steeltrap]

Originally posted by prayerfull
Between Sorors Loviest and Sexy Mocha, I can barely hold my composure right now...in fact..as soon as I finish typing this, I'm running to the bathroom 'cause I'm laughing so hard that I'm about to...well y'all know the rest.

What embarrasses me?....when one of "us" does a dumb a$$ thing like leaving her children in the car for 2 hours to get her hair done, causing the children to die. Plain damn ignorance.

Hear, hear. And what will be more embarrassing, if it happens, is that some jackleg "activist" will try to explain away the actions of that mother, err, piece of human garbage, and blame it on "she's-poor-and-black."

[AKA2D '91]

Soror ST, you know I got the idea about this topic from YOUR post regarding the lady getting her hair done, but leaving the kids in the car.

RD Diva: yeah, that's what I'm talking about and that "nurse" girlllll I HATE that commercial with a passion.